Crash Into You
by BBananular
Summary: Johnny and Lulu were never conventional. First came baby then came marriage. Then came Lulu's almost death.
1. Winter Wonderland

_A/N: It's been soooo long since I've written FanFiction. We're talking years, people. And I have never before written a General Hospital FanFic. Pretty please be gentle. :_

**Summary:** Johnny and Lulu were never conventional. First came baby then came marriage. Then came Lulu's almost death.

* * *

**Chapter One  
**Winter Wonderland

* * *

Lulu Spencer couldn't help but roll her eyes and smirk at all the huffing and puffing that was coming from her friend.

"You didn't have to come," Lulu reminded her.

"I know that," Maxie Jones snapped. "I just don't understand what's wrong with schools these days. The program said 7:00 and it's 7:30 and do you see anyone on stage? No, no you do not. You see a big red, ugly thing covering the scenery."

"You mean a curtain?" Lulu asked slowly, stifling laughter.

"_Whatever!_ All I'm saying is I came here to see the Christmas tree portrayed by my lovely and highly talented godson."

Lulu threw her head back and filled the small auditorium with uncontainable laughter. Lulu could feel her face getting red and her sides begin to ache. Oh, wow! She couldn't breathe, but she could feel Maxie's glares.

"I'm sorry. It's just-" she quickly broke off again in another fit of laughter after glancing at Maxie's face.

"You are so rude, Lesley," Maxie muttered, folding her arms. Lulu shook her head and grabbed a hold of Maxie's arm, still with a grin plastered to her face.

"I'm sorry, Maxie. Really, I am. It's just I can't figure out where you got it in your head that you're my son's godmother! Isn't Aunt Maxie good enough?"

Sometimes it still made Lulu take a double take when Maxie bounded into Lulu's little house, holding scones and coffee to go around. Lulu wasn't sure exactly when it happened but it did. A truce between Maxie and Lulu was formed and from the truce sprung friendship, a really good friendship at that. Lulu finally understood what Georgie had always been trying to tell everyone about her older sister. Maxie really was a good person when she wanted to be. Except, for when Maxie meddled in Lulu's affairs. That just annoyed Lulu to no end.

The lights dimmed and happy sighs were expressed from parents all throughout the room. "Thank you, Jesus!" Maxie yelled out, looking up to the ceiling. Laughter was heard around and Lulu just shook her head. Maxie Jones was definitely a force to be reckoned with.

* * *

The play was utterly adorable and Lulu couldn't help but radiate pride as she looked up at her son stomping around the stage in a fuzzy green Christmas tree costume made by Great Grandma Lesley. As Lulu sat on the edge of her seat holding her Kodak camera and smiling like an idiot, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise. 

Johnny.

She didn't need to look to confirm her thoughts. She could feel his presence all the way in the second row. Well, of course he would be here. This was their son's big debut. Just because he was a rotten husband didn't mean he was a rotten father. It would certainly make things easier if he was.

Lulu could feel his stare burning into the back of her neck. Her hands began to sweat and Lulu quickly decided that the 256 pictures she had taken were enough and slid back into her plush seat. She glanced over to Maxie and saw the annoyed expression plastered to her face as she steadied the video camera.

"People have the biggest freaking heads," Maxie muttered. The people in front slowly lowered in their seats. On any other circumstances, Lulu would have laughed.

Before she knew it, everyone around her was standing and clapping. _Finally_. She needed to get out of here.

"So, what are we doing for dinner tonight?" Maxie asked as they shuffled out of their row.

"I don't know. Nathan said he would think about it," Lulu replied shakily.

Maxie groaned. "I don't want to eat at McDonald's!" Lulu forced a laugh.

"From the way he was talking in the car I think we might be going to Kelly's."

"Actually, I was hoping to take Nathan home with me tonight," a rough voice cut in. Lulu turned around to see Johnny standing behind her.

"Aww. Trying to be a hands on dad now are we, Johnny Z?" Maxie asked snidely. "I thought we've discussed this. Nathan's a bright kid with the world as his oyster and he doesn't need his gangster dad screwing his life up. Why don't you just get lost?"

Before Johnny could reply Lulu cut in. "I really think that's up to Nate. He's a big boy now and he can decide form himself."

With a glare to Maxie, Johnny nodded to Lulu. "You're right, but before he gets here I wanted to talk to you. Alone."

"S'okay," Lulu muttered to Maxie. With a stomp of her foot and a roll of her eyes Maxie marched back stage in search of Nathan.

Lulu turned so her whole body was facing Johnny and took in a deep breath. He was still gorgeous as the day he picked her up hitch hiking, but not as reckless. Maybe it was running the organization or becoming a dad or maybe even becoming a husband. Lulu couldn't say, but she did know that she loved or used to love the man that he had become. Before he had decided that she wasn't good enough.

"So," she said slowly. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Our divorce."

Whew. He really didn't waste anytime.

"Okay . . . "

"I just wanted to know if you were confused about anything." Lulu hated the tone he used with her. He always sounded so formal, like they were talking about territories or money transfers. "Because I know that you've had the papers for about a week now and they're all signed on my part. I'd really like it if you got them-"

"I've been busy," she stated coldly. His jaw tensed and he crossed his arms over his chest.

"It's just a couple of signatures, Lu. Everything's fair. You're getting a lot more than my lawyer advised and Nathan's set for life."

"You think that's what's taking so long? You think that I'm worried about how much money I'm getting or which vacation house I'll be keeping?"

The "no" was never spoken, but Lulu knew he was thinking it. Just like he knew she wanted to punch him in the face.

"Why did you even marry me?" Lulu hissed. "Hell, why did you even get involved with me? This is what you were afraid of. You were afraid I would get shot and I did. You knew it was going to happen one day. You knew! So why all the surprised faces and divorce papers?" He frustrated her to no end!

Johnny sighed and a muscle in his jaw ticked. "I married you because you were pregnant. You and I both know that. Don't act like I spent days upon days rehearsing my proposal speech and arranging a nice little dinner at the MetroCourt. I did what was right by you and our son. Yes, I was afraid you'd end up like my mother, because I was fond of you and didn't want you dead."

"You were _fond _of me?" Lulu asked taking a step back. Just because he wanted to rewrite history didn't mean she had to.

"_I'm so scared," Lulu whispered against Johnny's neck. He just hugged her tighter._

"_I'm not going anywhere. You're not eighteen. You're almost twenty-two years old. Hell, if I want to be married to anyone, it's gonna be you." Lulu laughed into his neck. "Hey, I'm being serious." _

_Lulu's laughter ceased. "About the age part, because me too." Johnny rolled his eyes._

"_No. About the married part." Johnny took her face into his hands and brushed a kiss against her forehead, her eyelids, her nose and then rested his head against hers. "I think it would be pretty nice. Just me and you all the time. Hey, we could help the environment by saving water and showering together."_

"_Since when do you care about the environment, Zaccarha?"_

"_Since that little idea popped into my head. I'm being serious Lulu. A little walk down the aisle and it's you, me, and baby makes three for the rest of our lives." Lulu shook her head._

"_I don't want to get married just for a baby. I want to get married because of love."_

"_Do I not tell you enough?" Johnny asked. He tilted her head up so that she was looking him straight in the eye. "Because I do. I've never loved anyone like I love you. When I have to go through one whole day without seeing you it hurts. It sounds girly I know, but all I can do is think about you and wonder where you're at and what you're doing. I've thought about marriage for awhile now, but I didn't know if it was right or if I was just jumping into something without thinking it through. You're going to have baby. My baby. That seals it. No more thinking. When they announce the sex I want them to say 'Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Zaccarha'."_

"_Lulu Zaccarha?" Lulu asked. "I don't know. It doesn't have that 'umph' a name is supposed to have._

"_Well, it's not my fault if Lulu is a dog's name." Lulu gasped and slapped him in the arm. _

"_That was mean! You need to take that back, right now!" _

"_Aww, Lu. You know I love your name," he told her chuckling. "It fits you just right. Kind of like that mothering tone you just used no me!" Lulu smiled tugged on his hand._

"_I don't want a-" Lulu looked down at the ground and then sighed. "big wedding. Just a tiny one. You know, just a few people. My brothers, my dad, Spinelli, Carly- just a few."_

"_Is that a yes?" Johnny asked. He couldn't help but sound a little hopeful. He may have sounded and came off playful, but he was dead serious. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with Lulu._

"_Did I not just list off my guest list to you?"_

She didn't know if he had planned it or not, but she knew that he loved her. The only reason he filed for divorce was because she had almost died. In his arms, nonetheless.

"MOMMY!"

Lulu whirled around smiling.

"There's my favorite Christmas tree!" Nathan jumped right into his mother's arms and wrapped his tiny arms around her neck.

"Was I good?"

"The best!" Lulu exclaimed.

"You were, Nate," Johnny cut. "We should call in Steven Spielberg."

"Or Dillon," Maxie threw in, smirking at Johnny. Johnny hated Dillon. That was a known fact amongst the three adults.

"There's no Christmas tree in the world better than you, little man," Lulu told him as she gave him a tight squeeze. Nathan laughed.

"Is there, daddy?" Nathan asked.

Johnny shook his head. "Are you kidding me? There's no tree in the world that could top that! Listen, buddy. I was wondering if you wanted to spend the night with me tonight and then go back to mommy's tomorrow. What do you say?"

"Yeah!" Nathan wiggled his way down his mom and grabbed on to his dad.

"When do you want me to drop him off?" Johnny asked.

"Whenever is fine. I'll be home." Wow, what a way to sound like you're boring and have no life. _Great._

"Sounds good. Say goodbye to your mom." Nathan ran back over to his mom. Lulu bent down and he gave her a kiss.

"Bye mommy," Nathan whispered in her ear.

"You have fun okay," Lulu whispered back.

"Okay." Nathan had Lulu's hair, but his eyes, nose, jaw- that was all Johnny. He was such a beautiful little boy. She did not think that just because she was his mother. Everyone at Kelly's thought so too.

Lulu sighed as she watched her two favorite men walk away. Maxie walked up from behind her and threw her arm around Lulu's shoulders.

"So, since we are childless on this beautiful Friday night. What do you say to getting drunk at Jake's?"

"Sounds good to me."


	2. Two Bees In A Pod

_A/N: Thank you guys so much for all the positive feedback! It definitely made me write faster. : It's a little short and just a little bit of filler, but mostly it's here to answer some questions and to give you an insight as to how both Lulu and Johnny feel.

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_

**Chapter Two  
**Two Bees In A Pod

* * *

Lulu felt like someone had beaten her head in with a sledgehammer. Maybe she shouldn't have consumed so much tequila. She really had no idea what had gotten into her last night. She usually wasn't big on alcohol, especially after the whole Alcazar kidnapping fiasco. Yet, she drank everything that was put in front of her. Maxie had blamed it on Johnny and Lulu couldn't disagree. He messed with her head even when he wasn't around.

Lulu wasn't stupid. She knew that the only reason Johnny acted like he couldn't stand her was because of what had happened last July. He was pushing her away. He was "sacrificing his happiness" to protect her. Lulu just thought he was being a giant, selfish ass.

So she had been shot. _Big deal_. Sonny, Jason, Carly, even Spinelli had been shot before and they all seemed to be okay. Well, physically at least. Lulu knew what she was getting into when she and Johnny got together. Lulu knew that one day she might have to take a bullet, but she didn't care. Apparently, Johnny did though.

They had been on a date. It was just a movie and some dinner, nothing fancy. It had seemed like any other night to the both of them. Until bullets were flying through the air and Lulu had blood pouring from her chest. They had been right on the sidewalk with no where to hide. She still thought it was a miracle that Johnny hadn't been hit and that she had lived.

She remembered being jovial and uplifting after she had awoken from surgery. Johnny was alive and well and she was going to make a full recovery. What wasn't there to be happy about? While she talked and assured her family and friends that she was fine, Johnny had sulked in the corner. He just sat there and stared at her. Lulu had left him be. She had just figured that he needed some time to process what had happened.

"Time," Lulu muttered to herself as she climbed out of bed. Johnny hadn't needed time. He needed a swift kick in the ass.

Lulu hadn't pleaded with him to stay with her, but she didn't believe the lines he had fed her either.

"_This isn't about what happened last month and me trying to protect you. So stop thinking it right now. I just think it's time we both go our separate ways. We jumped into this marriage without clearly thinking it through. I was going to tell you how I felt the night of the incident, but well- I didn't feel it was right to put it on you as soon as you came out of surgery. Let's try to make this amicable, for Nathan's sake."_

She hadn't believed it four months ago and she didn't believe it now. If Johnny wanted to let her go, then fine, she'd go.

**

* * *

**

"You don't make pancakes like mommy does," Nathan informed his father as he set the syrup down. Johnny gave a light smile.

"No," he replied. "No, I don't. I just can't seem to make them like she does. What's your favorite part of mommy's pancakes?"

Nathan pursed his lips together and gave a sigh. "The chocolate chips! No. The whip cream! Yeah. The whip cream is the best."

Johnny leaned back in his chair and watched his son eat his breakfast. _His son_. Five years later and he still couldn't get over the fact that he was a dad. He hadn't wanted children for the longest time. For fear of having to watch them perish like he did his mother, but when Lulu had told him she was pregnant he had a hard time containing the grin that threatened to appear. He hadn't wanted her to feel pressured. Whatever Lulu wanted was what he wanted.

Lulu could still get out and live to an old age, but Nathan was marked for the rest of his life. He knew that. Still, Johnny was determined to make sure that Nathan did not end up like his cousin Michael. He didn't care for Carly's eldest son and it wasn't because Michael despised him with a passion. It was mostly for how Michael had treated Lulu when he had discovered that they were seeing each other. That kid had a razor sharp tongue and almost a bigger mouth than his mother.

"Why doesn't Aunt Maxie like you?" Nathan asked. Johnny forced himself not to gag at the name that his son had bestowed upon the annoying blonde.

"Aunt Maxie doesn't like anyone." It was true enough. There was Lulu, Nate, her dad, Dr. Scorpio, and Lucky Spencer.

"Noooooo," Nathan disagreed dragging out the 'o'. "Aunt Maxie likes me and mommy."

"And that's about it, kiddo."

"Why?" _Oh no,_ Johnny thought. _Squash it now. Squash it now. _He could already hear the million questions. 'Why's the sky blue? Why do dogs bark? Why don't I have a dog? Why don't you and mommy love each other anymore?'

"Aunt Maxie just isn't a people person."

"Why?" _Squash it._

"That's a good question, little man. Ask Aunt Maxie." Nathan nodded and took another bite of his pancakes.

_Aunt _Maxie.

He hadn't minded so much when she had been decent to him, but ever since he had split with Lulu she had been like a momma bear protecting her cub. Always had to tell him just how much she thought he was dirt and how Logan Hayes was a better man than him. That was laughable. Logan Hayes didn't even meet the requirements to be a man.

Then again, what had he expected? It seemed like everyone in that damn town cared about Lulu in some way. Everyone had something to say to him whether it was to tell him how stupid he was or how much they thought he was an ass. Dillon Quartermaine had been the worst by far.

Johnny didn't really care when Dillon had made snide remarks. It had only made the guy look like a hypocrite. No, it was the way he had raced back to Port Charles the moment he heard that the Zaccarha's were splitting. It was like he had been waiting. The guy was _pathetic_ thinking he could just sweep on in and replace him.

Yet, Lulu had taken the hand Dillon had offered. Johnny tried not to be mad at her. Her life had pretty much taken a nose dive. First, she was shot and then not even a month later he's telling her he wants a divorce. He had to push the ugly, green beast down as Dillon hung around week after week after week and then suddenly, much to Johnny's delight, he had just left.

It made Johnny feel good that Lulu hadn't let Dillon take advantage of her. That she had let him be her friend and nothing more and when he had tried something, she had set him straight and he left with his tail between his legs and his ears noticeably lower. Just like a pathetic little puppy that had been denied his favorite bone. Sometimes Johnny wondered why he hated Dillon so much. Hell, he hated Dillon more than he did Logan Hayes.

Lulu used to defend the guy saying that the only awful thing he did was making some stupid bet with Maxie. Lulu was too forgiving if you asked Johnny.

"All done!" Nathan announced with glee. Johnny looked up from the hole he was burning into the table and noticed the syrup smeared on Nate's face.

"You are just like your mom," he told him as he reached for a napkin. "You two can't keep the syrup on the pancake to save your lives, can you?" Nathan giggled and took the napkin from his dad.

"Yep. Me and mommy are two bees in a pod." Johnny laughed aloud and ruffled Nate's hair.

"It's two peas in pod, little man." Nathan giggled louder.

"Oh."

"Go upstairs and get dressed. We're going shopping."

"Shopping?" Nathan made a face and instantly thought back to the time that his Aunt Maxie and mommy had said that. They had spent hours in one girl store all because Aunt Maxie couldn't decide on red or blue shoes.

"Yes," Johnny replied. "You want to get your mom a Christmas present don't you?"

"Can it be really pretty?" Nathan asked twisting his head to the side.

"It can be whatever you want it to be." In the distance Johnny heard his cell phone vibrate against the kitchen counter. "Hurry up, Nate." Johnny watched as Nathan dashed out of the kitchen and listened to his tiny feet working their way up the marble stairs.

One they disappeared he flipped his phone opened. "Zacchara."

"Sir, I found her. She's at home making herself some breakfast."

"I already know that, thanks. Since you're too incompetent to do your own job I stopped by her house myself last night. Do you wanna tell me how the hell you lost track of her in the first place, Davis?"

"Well, sir. They left their cars at the bar and took a taxi together. And they're both blonde and it was dark and I just-"

"Fine," Johnny snapped. "Don't let it happen again or you're going to find yourself without a job. You got it?"

"Yes sir."

"Good."

Yes, Lulu was going to live to be an old woman who played with her grandchildren and didn't have to worry about bullets and bombs.


	3. Who's The Boss?

**Chapter Three  
**Who's The Boss?

* * *

"Can we leave carrots for the reindeer too?" Nathan asked. Lulu smiled as she stretched to her fullest height in the hallway closet. There was just _one _box of ornaments she just couldn't manage to reach. They _did_ have a stool in the upstairs bathroom that Nathan used to reach the sink easily, but she was lazy to go get it. Lulu was dead tired of running around Christmas shopping, setting the tree up in the perfect place and trying to hide Maxie's present in a place where her friend wouldn't think to look. Maxie was worse than Nathan when it came to waiting for gifts. 

"Aha!" Lulu cried as she finally reached the brown box. "Of course we can. I'm sure they'll appreciate it."

"Hello!" a voice cried from the front door. "You really shouldn't leave the door unlocked, Lulu."

"What does it matter? You have a key, Maxie." Maxie rolled her eyes and shook off her jacket and scarf, placing them on the back of the couch.

"Hi Aunt Maxie," Nathan greeted. "Mommy got you a necklace for Christmas."

"Nathan Lorenzo!"

"Oh, I already knew that."

"_What_?" Lulu cried outraged.

"I couldn't help myself okay?" Maxie said bending down to kiss Nathan on the head. "And _you_ are going to absolutely _love_ the present I got you. It's adorable."

Nathan wrinkled his nose. _Clothes_. He already got enough clothes between his mom, Aunt Bobbie, Grandma Tracy and his cousin Carly. The last thing he needed was _clothes_.

"What do you mean you couldn't help yourself?" Lulu interrogated. Nathan may have only been four and three quarters but he knew when to make himself scarce.

"Well, you called me and told me you and Nate were going Christmas tree shopping and you said so yourself that I have a key. So, I just kind of let myself in while you were out. And there was nothing on TV so I decided to-"

"Snoop through my bedroom?" Lulu finished for her.

"Well, come on! That was the lamest place to hide it. Under the mattress! I can't believe Nate doesn't find all of his presents every year!"

"That's because my son is a good kid and doesn't snoop through other people's belongings! You on the other hand! You are not. Now I have to take it back."

"No you won't!" Maxie contested. "Or I'll- I'll- slap you!"

Lulu snorted, "Slap me? I think I've been slapped by you before and let me tell ya- you hit like a _girl_."

"Oh come on Lu!" Maxie begged grabbing on to Lulu's arm. "It's so pretty. And it'll look even prettier _on me_." Lulu just rolled her eyes and shoved the box of ornaments into her friend's arms. "OH. Do I get it early?"

"No, you get to decorate my tree while I rest my beautiful eyes," Lulu said plopping down on the couch.

"Oh right," Maxie grimaced. "About this decorating business that I know I signed up for last month, but I kind of can't. Well, not tonight. I came over because I was hoping to borrow a pair of shoes."

"A pair of shoes for what?"

"Uh, for wearing on my date tonight."

"What?" Lulu exclaimed. "With who?" Maxie smiled and leant back against the couch.

"A really cute guy," Maxie gushed.

"Do I know this 'really cute guy'?" Maxie nodded. "Well, who is it?"

"Hmmm," Maxie pondered. "I don't want to tell you. Knowing you, you'll make a big deal out of it."

Lulu's mouth hit the floor. "I'll make a big deal? Hello _pot_! How are you today?"

"Thanks for asking _Kettle._ I'm doing just fine because I'm spending the evening with a _super_ cute guy whose identity will remain a secret unless you decide to drop by Kelly's around 7ish."

"7 it is," Lulu said with a smile. "I still don't get why you just won't tell me."

"I want it to be a surprise okay?" Maxie said jumping off the couch heading for the stairs.

"Kind of like how your Christmas present was supposed to be a surprise, right?" Lulu shot back following.

"Oh my god! Get over it."

**XXXXX**

Lulu grasped the handle of the door to Kelly's and pulled. Her body shivered at the cold that transmitted from the metal through her glove. The cold that chilled her reminded her of ice fishing with her dad. It had never been fun and she had secretly hated it, but anytime with Luke Spencer had been appreciated.

The warm air that was heating Kelly's welcomingly hit her face and warmed her nose. Nathan dashed past her and headed for Mike. After all, he _was _the one with the gingerbread cookies and hot chocolate.

Lulu stopped short as she recognized a familiar red head. "Hey Aunt Bobbie!"

"Lulu!" Bobbie exclaimed. "Oh, it is so good to see you! You never come around anymore." Lulu laughed and hugged her aunt.

"'Tis the season to be extremely busy," Lulu joked. Lulu's eyes narrowed as she recognized another familiar face seated across from her aunt.

"Scotty."

"Lulu," he returned. "How have you been doing?"

"Well, thank you and yourself?"

"I was a little down earlier today, but I've talked to Serena and she's heading on out here for Christmas."

"Oh, wow. That's great!" Lulu wasn't lying either. She and Serena actually got along really well even after Lulu crushed Logan's heart when she ran away with Johnny. It still made her feel guilty. Lulu hadn't handled the breakup properly which she partly blamed on Johnny's lopsided grin and his way with kisses.

"Yes it is. Logan's also been thinking about moving back to Port Charles, just in case you were wondering."

"I wasn't," Lulu said with a smile. Scott Baldwin could be so transparent. It was no secret he had wanted Logan and Lulu to patch things up. He really didn't seem to care that Johnny and Lulu were happy and that they had a child. He had even gone as far as to frame Johnny with some bogus crime that didn't stick longer than one hour. She wasn't about to show Scott that she actually was pleased to hear that Logan was thinking about moving back. Knowing Scott he'd take it, run with it, report it and start plotting to get her trapped in a room with Logan.

Bobbie cleared her throat, "Well, it was good to see you- Oh my! Is that Nathan?"

Lulu smiled and Bobbie could just feel the pride radiating off her niece. "Yep."

"He's gotten so tall!" Bobbie gushed. "Would you two like to join Scotty and me?"

Lulu shook her head, "No, no that's all right. We're just going to grab some hot chocolate and gingerbread cookies and be on our way."

"Alright, dear. Have a nice night and I'll see you at the hospital on Christmas Eve."

"Mommy!" Nathan's voice broke through their conversation. "These cookies are so big! Come look!"

"Excuse me, I have orders." Lulu jogged over to her blonde little boy and looked into the bag of cookies that Mike had placed on the table. "Wow! Those are big."

"I know!" Nathan said in awe. The bell on Kelly's door jingled and Lulu heard Maxie's laugh that she reserved only for the opposite sex. Turning around Lulu was shocked to see who Maxie was hanging onto.

"Long time no see, Cooper."

**

* * *

**

"Did you get the pictures?" A woman asked.

"Yes ma'am," a male voice responded.

"Of just the girl or the son too?"

"Both."

"Good. _Very_ good. Although, I think we'll hold off on sending any threats about the child. Let's just test the waters for now. Get our message across."

"I thought we _had_ made our message by shooting Mrs. Zacchara."

"It was," the woman snapped irritably. "But obviously Johnny isn't listening. We'll just have to send another message."

"Are we going to kill her?"

"What good would that do? We're just going to remind Johnny who's in charge here."

* * *

A/N: Did I bore you? My most sincere apologies. It was really just a filler chapter except for the tiny section above. The woman is a key element to the story and the person to blame for the lack of JoLu, but never fear JoLu in the next chapter and then non-stop JoLu for the following three. 


	4. How You Remind Me

_A/N: It's kind of short, I know, but there's JoLu. The next update will be a little slower, maybe Sunday, because my mom is coming into town, but I have a feeling you'll love the next chapter. Well, the ending at least. : )

* * *

_

**Chapter Four  
**How You Remind Me

* * *

Johnny wasn't sure how he had ended up on Lulu's front step. It was a nice front step he concluded after looking down at the "Welcome" mat. There were Christmas lights _everywhere_, wrapped around her house, trees in the front yard, and even around her front _door_. It was so damn bright he was pretty sure the people three blocks down could see it. 

_Just knock_, he told himself. _Curl your hand into a fist and flick your wrist. It's not that hard._ No, what was hard was that she'd probably just slam the door in his face. And he couldn't be mad because she had every right too.

_Fine then,_ a voice in the back of his head snarled. _Run on home_. Johnny liked that idea better. He'd rather take the emotional abuse that his conscience inflicted then have to face his wife. He felt guilty every time he looked into those brown eyes. Just as Johnny turned his body sixty degrees the door flew open.

"Oh," Lulu said surprised. It was amazing how she made jeans, a puffy jacket and uggs look appealing. "Johnny. Uh, Nathan's not here."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. He's at Wyndemere having a sleepover with Spencer."

"I thought only girls had sleepovers," Johnny chuckled. Lulu noticed how he kept his gaze on her 'Welcome' mat.

"What do you want Johnny?" Lulu snapped. Johnny almost smiled as the fire he loved so much shone through, but thought better of it. He liked all of his body parts where they were, thank you.

"I just wanted to talk to you, if that's okay." Well, it wasn't a total lie.

"About what?"

"Can I come in? It's kind of cold out here." Johnny asked rubbing his hands together.

"Fine," Lulu said with an exasperated sigh. "Can you make it quick? I'm busy." Johnny nodded and carefully took in their surroundings.

For the first time Johnny realized that he had never really_ been_ inside of Lulu's house. He had either waited outside for Nathan or they had met somewhere. It was very- _Lulu_. Cozy but sleek. Rough but soft. It reminded him of what their house used to _feel_ like.

The Christmas tree stood between the fire place and the window. Johnny could easily make out the 'Baby's 1st Christmas' ornament and another ornament that Nathan had made last year. He wasn't quite sure what shape it was. It wasn't a circle, oval, square, rectangle- kind of like a rhombus if you wanted to get technical. What were the odds that a four year old knows how to make a rhombus? Well, intentionally making a rhombus. Not likely.

"Explanation as to why you're here, please?" Lulu snipped from behind.

"Just wanted to know how we were going to work Christmas out with Nathan is all." The excuse sounded lame to Johnny's ears and he knew Lulu wasn't buying it either. He never could lie to her without her seeing right through it. "I don't want to impose on anything you're doing so I can just come pick him up after he's done here Christmas morning."

Lulu narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. "That's fine. Is that all?"

"Yes. That's all."

"Good. I'm busy so if you could-"

"Already gone," Johnny said sweeping past her. He noticed she was wearing the perfume he had gotten her for her birthday and he couldn't help but smile and tuck that fact away into his memory.

"Why didn't you just call?" Lulu blurted out. Johnny stopped and thought about that question for a moment. He, of course, knew the answer, but he thought it better to keep it to himself. Before he could change his mind, he hastily put one foot in front of the other and exited the cozy little house

As he closed the door behind him he couldn't help but notice the smug satisfied look on Lulu's face. She really would be the death of him.

**

* * *

**As soon as Johnny entered his home he tried to ignore the fact that it resembled the home he grew up in and loathed. It had been different when Lulu and Nathan had lived there. There were always toys in the hallway and sunshine streaming in from places he didn't even know he _had_ windows. Once upon a time his house had been _alive._ Johnny ignored the fact that the same could be said for him. 

"_Come on!" Lulu begged. "Open your present! You're gonna love it. I promise." _

_Grinning and groaning all at once Johnny shook the perfectly wrapped gift, "You didn't get me a tie, did you?"_

"_Why on Earth would I get you a tie? I don't think I've ever seen you wear one. EVER."_

"_I wore one to our wedding," Johnny defended himself._

"_No you didn't."_

"_Yes, I did."_

"_NO. You did not."_

"_You wanna bet?"_

"_I don't know, do you wanna bet?"_

"_That's a dumb question considering I asked you first."_

"_Don't get sassy with me Zacchara," Lulu warned, seating herself on his lap._

"_Or you'll what? Seduce me. Well, isn't it a good thing I have a book of sass in the library."_

"_Or I __**won't**__ seduce you and you'll find yourself on the couch."_

"_The couch?" Johnny laughed. "Try the guest bedroom." Lulu threw her hands up, got off the couch and walked away._

"_More sass? If Nathan turns out anything like you I want a daughter."_

"_Why so she can boss her older brother around and then look up to me with big doe eyes and get away with anything and everything and then use herself as bait for life-threatening situations __**and**__ be the most stubborn person in the world?"_

"_If that was you trying to be funny and describe me you obviously don't know me at all," Lulu said laughing._

"_And here I thought I had you down perfectly."_

Once upon a time they had been happy. The memory, the fondness, the _love-_ it all crashed down around him as he noticed a vase of roses sitting on his desk.

He was careful as he walked towards them. Even drew his gun. You never really know what's waiting for you in the shadows. The vase sat on top of a manila envelope. He gingerly lifted the vase and plucked the envelope off the desk. _Pictures. _He didn't have to look to know who they were of, but he did anyways. Johnny needed to see how close they had gotten to the only two people in the world who mattered.

There were some of Lulu waiting next to her Jeep by a _Nate Mack Elementary _sign and then they morphed into Nathan running into her arms, showing her artwork, getting into the car and driving off. There were others of the two of them at Kelly's, the park, and then some of Lulu and Maxie having a conversation inside of Lulu's home. That was all he needed to see. They had gotten too close. To even be anywhere _near_ her property and his guards _not know_ was unacceptable.

It was then Johnny noticed that there was a note in the center of the roses. Sliding it out of the holder and out of the tiny envelope he read the words silently to himself.

_Must my lesson be taught twice?_


	5. So Over You

**Chapter Five  
**So Over You

* * *

"You do realize that if you hurt Maxie again, I _will_ kill you," Lulu told Cooper Barrett. As Cooper smiled at her _very serious_ threat she continued on, leaning over the table and closer to Coop, "Don't you smirk at me. I was married to the mob okay. I know how to kill a guy and dump his body in the harbor and not get picked up by the cops." 

"Did you also shoot a man in Reno just to watch him die?"

"No," Lulu replied, picking a piece of lint off the sleeve of her jacket. "It was for other reasons."

"Whoa," Maxie interrupted visibly shaken. "Did you two just quote _Veronica Mars_?"

Cooper raised an eyebrow. "You watch?" Cooper asked Lulu.

"Seasons one to three owned, watched and loved."

"Don't tell me you watch it, Cooper," Maxie begged.

"It's a guilty pleasure," Coop defended.

"What?" Maxie yelled outraged. "Seriously people! What is the appeal? It's not even funny!"

"Maxie, if you don't watch it then how do you know that was a quote?" Cooper asked.

"Blondie here," Maxie jammed her thumb towards Lulu. "Made me watch a marathon when her and Zacchara split. It was like living in Hell. No escape, no ending, because she had all three seasons. It was just one disk after the other. One _stupid_ joke next to another even _stupider_-"

"Here's your coffee," Mike interrupted, placing three mugs on the table.

"Thank you, Mike!" Lulu exclaimed. "You just saved Maxie from an ass kicking for total disrespect of the genius that is Veronica."

Maxie rolled her eyes. "Like I've said before; You. Me. Dark alley. I so know who's walkin' out the winner."

"Do you still hang out with that Spinelli guy, Lulu?" Cooper asked. So it was a lame subject change, but he did not want to test out this little 'friendship' the two had acquired. They were playing nice and he didn't want to change that.

Lulu smiled. "Yes I do. That's actually where Nathan's at right now."

Cooper had left town unwillingly many years ago. Logan had convinced Cooper to go with him. To leave the lame town behind and forget all their troubles, meaning Lulu and Maxie. Cooper had refused at first, insisting that he really cared for Maxie and wanted to stay. Then the fight had occurred between the two and Cooper left town leaving only a distraught Maxie and a letter for her in his wake.

According to Coop, he and Logan had been everywhere, never staying in one place for long. From California to New York, Hawaii to Australia, they had some fun and ditched the place before they got burnt out on it. Cooper called it "his rebellion". Apparently, Lulu and Maxie were supposed to believe that he had never done any rebellion previously.

Today was the day that Maxie and Lulu were to be catching Coop on all that he had missed.

"You seriously let your kid hang around that guy?" Cooper asked.

"I keep telling her that one day Nate's going to get arrested for hacking into Top Secret Government files, but noooo- Lulu just says they're having some fun."

"I didn't say that!" Lulu defended. "I just said that Spinelli is teaching Nathan stuff that school, Johnny and I can't teach him."

"Did you ever think there's a reason for that?" Maxie snipped.

"Okay. Fine, I'm just going to ignore all the mean little digs you are taking at my best friend for the past nine years."

"What digs? Are these _invisible_ digs?"

Shaking her head, Lulu stood up and grabbed her purse that was hanging off the side of her chair. "Bye my very annoying little blonde friend and Cooper. I'll see you guys next week." Behind her she heard a "Have a good time, Lulu," and then a "Don't get lost in the snow!" It really wasn't hard to know which farewell came from Maxie and which one came from Cooper.

She was excited to say the least. It had been forever almost two years since she had been up to the cabin. It wasn't just any cabin. It was The Cabin. It was hers and Johnny's. It was the first property they had picked out and bought together. It may seem stupid to people, mainly Maxie and Spinelli, but it meant something special to Lulu.

They had spent almost every Winter Break there with Nathan. Teaching him how to ski, build snowmen, how to make popcorn on the stove and how to dodge said popcorn as it flew out of the pan and through the air. One time though, Johnny hadn't been so lucky. The great Johnny Zacchara was hit by a speeding popcorn kernel right in the eye. It was something that had made her laugh so hard her sides hurt and it was a story that she would definitely be telling her grandchildren.

Times had changed though. She wasn't going up to the cabin with Johnny, but Lulu was determined to make the best of it. As soon as she dropped off her divorce papers with Alexis. _Then_ she could forget and make the best of her son's last few days of Winter Break.

**

* * *

**

Lulu hated driving in the snow. She hated it even more with Nathan in the car. If anything happened she would not be able to forgive herself. So she put all of her concentration into her driving, which was difficult with Nathan trying to make conversation from the back seat.

"Are we there yet?"

"No Nate. We're not there yet."

Nathan gave a sigh and from her rear view mirror she could she him slumped in his seat, arms crossed over his chest, and pouting. It made Lulu take a double take. He looked and acted so much like Johnny it startled her sometimes.

"It's only about twenty more minutes. Okay, baby?" He nodded and Lulu noticed how his face brightened. Twenty more minutes felt like forever to Lulu. She could only imagine what it felt like to a five year old.

Nothing had changed much up in the mountains. Trees, snow, a few cabins here and there. She really didn't know what she had expected to be different, but she had.

_The whole world doesn't change just because your life did. _

"Shut up," Lulu mumbled. She was really getting sick of hearing that stupid little voice in the back of her head. It sounded way to much like Maxie for comfort.

"Look!" Nathan shouted from the backseat. "It's daddy!"

It certainly is daddy, Lulu scoffed silently as she pulled her jeep up next to his vehicle. What was he doing here? He certainly had no business here. This was _her_ cabin. It even said so in the divorce papers that _he_ had drawn up.

"You said daddy wouldn't wasn't coming!" Nathan unbuckled his seat belt, zipped up his jacket and jumped out of the car.

"Hey, Nathan! Wait!" Lulu shouted after him, but he was already around the two cars, up the stairs and through the front door. Lulu groaned as she trudged through the snow, up to the front door. The last person she wanted to see right now was Johnny. "He had better be leaving," Lulu whispered.

And yet as she made her way inside of the cabin she couldn't deny how _perfect_ and _right_ it looked to see Johnny holding _their_ son in _their_ cabin talking animatedly with that stupid lopsided grin that she loved more than ice-cream.

"Hey Lu," Johnny greeted. She noted that his grin was disappearing. Apparently, that seemed to be the only effect that she had on her husband these days. Darkening his day, making him angry, and putting a damper on all of his plans where other useful things she did without trying. She was supposed she was just talented like that.

_What's this? Bitter sarcasm? Tsk, tsk, Lulu. That's never gotten you far before, _the 'Maxie Voice' in her head sneered.

"What are you doing here Johnny?" Lulu asked. She noticed how she was asking that question a lot lately.

"I heard you were thinking of making a trip up here. I just wanted to make sure that the security is still air tight."

"Is it?"

"Yep."

"Good. Thank you."

"Your welcome," Johnny said slowly, setting Nathan down onto his own feet. "I didn't mean to intrude on your little vacation. I'll just head on out now."

Nathan looked up between his parents. Why wasn't his mom asking his dad to stay? It didn't make any sense. Mommy loved daddy and daddy loved mommy. It was pretty clear and simple to him, but it seemed his parents where _trying_ to make things complicated. Before Johnny could make it out the door Nathan ran to him and grabbed onto his dad's much larger hand.

"Stay daddy," Nathan whispered. "Just today, okay?" Lulu let her eyes slide shut after she heard her little boy's plea. She really had no idea what answer she was rooting for. The Spencer part of her was screaming 'hell no! Get away', but the part of her that was desperately holding onto Johnny and just wouldn't accept defeat, was shaking in anticipation and begging for a 'yes'.

Johnny looked down at his son and then at the back of Lulu's head. He had no idea what she was thinking and he wasn't sure he wanted too. As soon as he looked back down at his son he knew he shouldn't have. Those eyes . . . He didn't care what Lulu said. Those were _her_ eyes. They had that defiant, rebellious, _Spencer_ look in them, but right now they were pleading. And who was he to deny?

"Sure Nate. I'll stay."


	6. Vanilla and Cinnamon

_A/N: Sorry it took me longer than usual. I had a horrible case of writer's block. You have no idea how many times I had a full page and then erased everything on it. And thank you for all of your way to nice comments. It's seriously what got me through all the frustration. Anyways, here it is. I hope everyone likes it. I'm not sure that I do, but I never like any chapter. :)

* * *

_

**Chapter Six  
**Vanilla and Cinnamon

* * *

To say that Lesley Lu was conflicted was an understatement. Lulu could only remember one other time when she had felt like this. She was seventeen going on eighteen and had been desperately seeking her father's approval and love. She remembered hating him one minute and then just wanting to hear his voice the next. 

That wasn't _exactly_ how she viewed her confliction with Johnny. She didn't hate him. She hated that he had decided what was best for her without ever consulting _her_. She didn't just want to hear his voice. She wanted him to _talk_ to her. Tell her what the hell was going on in that head of his. Not that he would. She knew that Johnny wasn't one to put his emotions on display.

Lulu looked down at her little boy and smiled as he snuggled deeper into his pillow. Nathan was the only thing that ever put her at ease. She could be having the worst day and all he had to do was smile in her direction and she was grinning and laughing like an idiot. She honestly couldn't say how she had gotten so lucky.

"He's gotten so big," Johnny whispered from his chair in the corner.

"That's what they do," Lulu whispered back. "They grow and grow and grow and then before you know it they're running away to college."

"He's only four, Lu," Johnny chuckled.

"He'll be five next month," she reminded him pushing off her spot on the bed and heading out the door.

"It's hard to believe, isn't it?" Johnny asked as he shut the door behind him. "I remember when he was just eight pounds and seven ounces. Remember when he was just a few months old and he would just sit in his swing and stare at you? Whenever you weren't in the room he'd search for you and then get all fussy when he couldn't find you."

Lulu smiled. "Yeah. I was _totally_ number one. You were _so_ second place."

"I still am!" Johnny laughed.

"No you're not."

"Yes I am."

"No."

"Yes."

"I disagree- strongly. Nate thinks you hang the moon, Johnny."

"And he _also_ thinks that you make the best pancakes and that you wrap presents ten times better than I do."

"Well, that's because all of that is _true_. And thank you by the way. I really appreciate my Christmas present."

Johnny shook his head. "All Nathan."

"Right, because Nathan knows who the best jeweler in Port Charles is."

"He's a smart kid."

"I'm trying to thank you. Just accept it."

Johnny gave a small smile. "Okay. You're welcome. I really hope that you don't mind me staying. It's just for tonight. I'll leave in the morning."

"Okay."

The silence that lay between them was awkward. That was so strange for Lulu. They had always had comfortable silences. They had never had the need to fill it up with useless chatter, always understanding one another so completely and now- now she wasn't sure who she was looking at anymore.

"Do you hate me Lulu?" Johnny asked suddenly.

All she could do was blink and stare at him with her mouth hanging open. Hate? She could _never hate_ the father of her son.

"Because you have every right to. After everything that I've done to you." He took a step towards her and she let her arms fall to her side. "I'd hate me."

"I don't hate you," Lulu whispered. Johnny stretched his hand out and gently grasped hers. He glided his thumb over the back of her hand, feeling her softness. Lulu was always soft.

"It was all to protect you," Johnny whispered back.

"I know. And that's what I hate. I hate that you lied to me to protect me. So I was shot. Big deal. People get shot everyday. I survived. I didn't end up in a coma. My heart didn't stop beating. I was fine. And you left me. You _hurt_ me more than that bullet ever did."

Johnny's eyes slid shut at her words. He grabbed her upper arms and pulled her closer. Lulu rested her head against his shoulder and she felt the tears escape the corner of her eyes and swim down her cheeks, onto his sweater. Even though she was silently crying and she knew that this didn't change anything, it was perfect. Just like the child they had created and the life they had had. It was all so _perfect_.

Lulu felt Johnny kiss her ear and run his hand down her hair and rest on the small of her back. She didn't think it was possible, but he somehow managed to pull her closer. He took her face in his hands and placed his lips on hers. It was soft and slow and Johnny could taste her tears. He backed her up against the wall and slipped his hand up the back of her shirt gliding over the light skin. He would never get over how soft she was. He remembered the first time he had ever touched Lulu Spencer. In that one moment he compared her to silk. _Fine, expensive silk._

As quickly as it had begun their kiss had ended. And Lulu couldn't seem to find oxygen as fast as Johnny had.

"I think we need to talk," he whispered against her lips. "About what happened in July."

All Lulu could muster was a nod and quietly followed Johnny over to the couch. She didn't know what she was more shocked at. The fact that after months of Johnny treating her like some random woman he was acting like he truly cared for her again or that he was finally going to tell her what the hell was going on. He kissed _her_. She was just a happy follower.

**

* * *

**

He didn't know what it was that made him kiss her. Maybe it was her tantalizing smell- _vanilla and cinnamon_. Or maybe it was the way she pouted. Johnny doubted she even knew she did it.

After everything he had done to her, the woman he claimed to love, he realized that keeping her in the dark wouldn't protect her from anything. It just made her ignorant and vulnerable. If he had her cooperation everything could possibly work out just fine.

"I started getting letters, little notes around June. They first started out in riddles and I didn't quite understand them, but then they started getting blunt. They were threatening you, Lulu. I didn't get it. Why you and not me? I didn't understand why you were so important to whoever was doing this. I did everything possible to try and figure out who was leaving the notes. They were always in somewhere where no one unfamiliar could have gotten too. Like your side of the bed, the shower, my car, the medicine cabinet, hell, even my sock drawer. I knew it was somebody I looked at every single day. I just couldn't figure out who it was. Everyone with me was loyal. The longer I ignored the notes the faster they came and then-"

"Then I was shot." Johnny licked his lips and nodded.

"That's why I wasn't hit, Lu. They weren't aiming for me. You were the one they wanted. And then it was just- you have no idea what it was like." Johnny knew he sounded broken and scared, but all he could see was Lulu _pale_ and _bloody_ and _dying_.

_As the shots rang out across the empty street, Johnny's first instinct was to cover Lulu's body with his. His life didn't matter. She could live without him, he was sure of it. Johnny __**knew**__ he wouldn't be able to live without her. _

_By the time the firing had stopped he could hear Lulu breathing hard and she was holding on to his hand tightly. If he hadn't been listening carefully he wouldn't have heard her whisper his name._

"_Are you okay?" he asked worriedly, pushing himself off of her. No, no she was __**not**__ okay. Lulu was pale and her blood was soaking through her clothes and sliding down the back of her neck and into her hair. _

"_Johnny?" Lulu asked quietly. "It's, it's- I"_

"_Lay still, Lulu," Johnny ordered, pulling off his shirt and firmly placing it over her wound. Even though he knew the police where on their way, everyone in a two mile radius had probably called the PCPD; he still whipped out his cell phone and dialed 911. An ambulance had to be here. A dead Lulu Zacchara was not an option. _

"_Johnny, Johnny, I need to go home," she told him, placing her hand over his that was literally keeping her heart beating. "Nathan needs his bedtime story. He needs mommy-"_

"_It's okay," Johnny said as he leaned down and kissed her. "It's all okay. You'll go home. You'll read him a bedtime story. Okay?"_

"_You promise?" Her eyelids were drooping and her hand was losing grip on his. _

"_I swear," Johnny bit out. _

_He hadn't realized that he was crying until his tears were like waterfalls cascading down his face. _

"You were slipping away, Lulu. Right there in the middle of a _dirty street_ and I couldn't do a damn thing. It happened because I ignored all of the threats and the warnings. You almost _died_ because I was cocky and arrogant in thinking that _I _could protect you. When in reality, I couldn't. You were like a sitting duck and I just handed you over to them."

"Who's them?" Lulu asked.

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I know that they know me. I think they knew my mother."

"What? Why?" Lulu asked shocked.

"They always leave roses behind."

"Back up," Lulu said with wide eyes. "That's present tense. Have you gotten new notes?"

He could feel his jaw tightening with just the thought of it. "That day I came by to see about Christmas-"

"Oh you mean the day you came by with a lame excuse?" Lulu teasingly asked.

"Yes. I went home and found a dozen roses sitting on my desk with pictures of you, Nate and even Maxie."

"No note?" She was so impatient, but he loved it.

"Of course there was a note." It was seared into his memory. "_Must my lesson be taught twice_?" Johnny quoted.

Lulu took his face into her hands and forced him to look her in the eye. "I don't hold you responsible for what happened to me. I knew what I was getting into when I married you, Johnny, but none of it matters because I _love_ you."

_I love you._

It was so good to hear. He could feel his heart expand and all of the doubts in the back of his head disappear, but it made him want to kick his own ass.

He shouldn't have kissed her. He was being selfish and got caught up in their trip down memory lane. He had fooled himself into believing they were newlyweds and that there was no bad guys lurking in the closet.

"No," Johnny said more to himself than to her. He removed her hands from his face and laid them in her lap. "You and I can't work. The people who shot you aren't going away. They're waiting for me to take you back. They're waiting for me to show any sort of happiness around you, Lulu. I won't do that. Don't love me. Love yourself and our son and stay away from me."


	7. So Much More

**Chapter Seven  
**So Much More

* * *

"So that's it?" Maxie asked incredulously. "_Don't love me? Love yourself?_ Can I just say that I am so happy you finally signed those divorce papers? You deserve so much better than Johnny Zacchara, Lu."

Lulu sighed and continued to pluck all of the shiny ornaments off her dying Christmas tree and gently placed them back into the appropriate boxes. She _did_ deserve so much better than Johnny. She deserved someone who wasn't afraid to love her. Someone who said to hell with the danger and someone who thought she was worth it. That _someone_ was definitely _not_ her husband.

"I know," Lulu agreed. "I'm so disgusted with myself, Maxie."

"Why?"

"I kissed him back thinking 'oh he loves me'! And he doesn't. I was so _stupid_ to think otherwise."

"No," Maxie disagreed. "You were hoping for a reunion. You were a little to trusting about the whole thing, sure. However, you were not stupid. That is one thing Lulu Spencer is definitely not."

Maxie took the stockings off their hooks above the fireplace and pursed her lips together. "Can I say something? You're totally going to get offended or freak out or whatever, but I just want to tell you how I'm seeing this whole situation."

"Shoot for it and I promise not to go all 'whatever' on you," Lulu teased.

"Okay. I just think you should take a look on Johnny's side. I mean I get where you're coming from, but I also get where Johnny is coming from."

"What?" Lulu asked whirling around. "Since when?"

"Since you explained all about those psycho people who want to kill you. Lulu, he's

protecting you, because he _loves_ you."

"So you're on his side?"

"You know I'm always on the annoying blonde side," Maxie said with a smirk. "All I'm saying is that Johnny does love you, but he just wants to be all dark and brooding about it. Sonny and Jason do it too. I think it's just like a mob thing."

"You'll never change will you?" Lulu asked smiling.

"I'm sorry; I left all of my telepathic abilities at home. Explain please."

"You're going to be thirty years old in a couple years-"

"Hey! Hey! You're right behind me, okay?"

"And yet you still act like you're that badass Maxie Jones who doesn't take any crap."

"I still am badass. And I still don't take crap. I've changed here and there. I'm friends with you aren't I? And brownie points to you for smoothly changing the subject. To bad I'm the inventor of the subject changing. Now, would you like more of my sage advice?"

"I could say no," Lulu told her. "But you'd still end up speaking."

Maxie narrowed her eyes and folded her arms across her chest. "If you're not going to take me seriously, then fine- I've got better places to be. Like a cozy couch with a hot man named Cooper on it."

Lulu rolled her eyes and grabbed a hold of Maxie's arm. "Please bless me with your sage advice wise one. I'm in desperate need of guidance."

"That still sounds like you're patronizing me, but I'll still give it to you." Maxie unfolded her arms and grasped Lulu's hands into her own.

"Hate Johnny Zacchara all you want. I'll hate him with you. Not just because it's my duty as your best friend, but because I really do hate what he's done to you. He's made you doubt yourself, Lulu. You don't think you're worthy of anything anymore. And that truly terrifies me. You're this smart, spunky, hot mama who has so much to offer this crazy world. And Johnny doesn't want it. Not because he doesn't love you, but because it could kill you. Johnny Z is more stubborn than you are. He's never going to give in and come back to you. He's going to keep you and Nate alive and happy. Maybe it's time that you're happy with someone else."

Maxie released her friend's hands, grabbed her jacket and purse and exited the warm house.

"Well," Lulu spoke softly to herself. "She knows how to make an exit after a very moving speech."

She would hate to admit it to Maxie's face, but she was right. Lulu had done nothing but moon over Johnny and it was about time she got over it.

Where else was she going to go to forget all her problems? Jake's of course. There was no other place in Port Charles that could take your problems and kick them to the curb for as long as you needed. Well, as long as you stayed inside the four walls of comfort.

Lulu sat at the bar of Jakes' and downed the rest of her beer. She relished in the fact that there was no one to bother her and no way she could possibly run into Johnny here. This was one place that he never cared for. The MetroCourt had always been his choice to drown his sorrows.

"Lulu?"

Lulu groaned in response. She didn't want to be found! She wanted to be alone without all the pity looks and 'advice'.

"Lulu Spencer?"

Lulu turned around in her seat and she would bet pretty big bucks that her jaw had dropped straight through the ground.

"Logan?"

Well this was just her luck. Try to avoid an ex-husband and get an ex-boyfriend instead.

"Wow, Lulu. It's great to see you!"

"Yeah. It's been awhile hasn't it?"

She was genuinely surprised that he looked happy to see her. The last time she had seen Logan his face was red and he was hitting leaving town with nothing but anger and frustration towards Lulu. She knew that she hadn't treated Logan right and really owed him an apology. She also knew she could have let him know that she was head over heals for another man in a better way than she had.

"I don't know why you look so shocked. Scott told me he told you I was coming back."

"No," Lulu disagreed. "He said you were _thinking_ about coming back. There's a difference."

"So how've you been?" Logan asked.

"Besides getting a divorce and drowning my sorrows at Jake's? Fabulous. You?"

"Better since I heard you and Zacchara aren't together anymore. He was only ever going to get you hurt Lulu. I'm just glad he realized it. Sooner would have been better."

"So you heard?"

"About you getting shot? Yep. My dad called me straight away telling me I had to get down here and save you from yourself. I told him I tried already and all it did was push you towards Zacchara."

"Don't give yourself too much credit. It was all me. You didn't do anything wrong Logan. Well besides the whole bet thing. _After that_, you didn't do anything wrong. I was selfish about the whole situation and you deserved better."

"_You_ were better," Logan told her. Lulu gave him a good long look. He looked a lot like he did the first time she had met him in Sonny's coffeehouse. He was a lot cockier and bossier back then. It was good that some things had changed for the better.

"Don't you know better, Baldwin?" Lulu asked leaning on her elbows. "Flattery gets you nowhere with _this_ Spencer girl."

Logan laughed. "You really haven't changed much, Lulu. I'm glad he didn't kill all that fire and spunk in you."

"What?"

"Spunk. That's how Maxie described me today."

"Maxie? You talk to her?"

Lulu smirked. "We talk everyday. Best friends have the habit of doing that."

Lulu held a bubble of laughter that threatened to erupt as he choked on his beer.

"You and Maxie? Best friends?" Logan asked disbelievingly.

"You heard right."

"Wow. That's something I wouldn't have guessed in a million years."

"Cooper said the same thing."

"Well good to know I'm not crazy and remember the Maxie/Lulu Feud correctly."

"It still takes me by surprise too."

There was nothing wrong with having a friendly conversation with an old boyfriend. And yet she couldn't kill that little feeling of guilt that resided in the bottom of her tummy. She should _not_ be the one feeling guilty. If anyone should have their conscience kick in, it should be Johnny's. He was the one who left her. Not the other way around.

_It's so much more than that and you know it._

Oh how Lulu _hated_ the inner workings of her mind.

**

* * *

**

"Kill her," a woman ordered. Her associate could see the steam flying from her ears. "I don't care how you do it. Just do it."

"When?" the associate asked.

"I want little Nathan Zacchara motherless on this Wednesday night. 8:30 on the dot."

"Why so specific?"

"Because I want my little Johnny to watch. He broke the rules of our agreement and now he has to pay the price."

* * *

_A/N: Agreement? So maybe Johnny didn't tell Lulu everything . . ._


	8. Fallen

**Chapter 8  
**Fallen

* * *

Lulu couldn't contain her laughter as Logan explained how Serena tried to get out of a predicament with a police officer but only managed to make matters worse.

"Coop left out the part where you guys ran into Serena," Lulu told Logan.

"Yeah?" Logan asked surprised. "That's funny. They were all over each other by the time we reached Sydney."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. They acted like I was stupid or something and couldn't see the way they were looking at each other. Then they would make some lame excuse to be alone together. It was ridiculous and extremely disgusting."

"Aww. Poor Logan doesn't want to admit that baby sister is all grown up?" Lulu teased pushing his arm gently.

"She's too grown up if you ask me."

Lulu giggled and glanced at her watch. 9:45 P.M. She had to get home and pay the baby-sitter.

"Well Logan, it has been fun catching up with you, but I need to head on home. Motherly duties and all."

Logan smirked. "It's so odd to think of you as a mom. Not that I think you're a bad one or anything. It's just that to me you're still a girl rebelling against her family."

"I was a bit of a rebel, wasn't I?" Lulu asked with a grin.

"Only the best." She forgot how much fun she used to have with Logan. Before everything had gotten so messed up. "Let me drive you home. I've had one beer and you've had like six."

Lulu laughed and then quickly sobered up. "Four."

"Whatever you say. I'm not one to argue with an intoxicated woman." Lulu giggled some more and took the hand he offered. She stumbled only slightly as she tried to gain some balance and followed Logan out of Jake's and to his car. She relaxed into her seat as Logan cranked up the heater and smoothly pulled out of Jake's parking lot.

"You really surprise me," Lulu told him softly. "You know that Baldwin?"

"Surprise you how?"

"You should hate me."

Logan looked over at her and smiled softly. "I could never hate you, Lulu. I was furious. I said a lot of hateful things before I skipped town. I just wanted you to hurt as much as I was hurting. It didn't work, did it?"

All Lulu could do was shrug.

No. It hadn't. She had had Johnny to hold her and tell her everything was alright. Logan had had Cooper to vent his problems too. There was a big difference there.

"Don't worry about it Lulu. What's in the past is in the past."

"Turn here," Lulu told him. As Lulu took in her tidy front porch she smiled and unbuckled her seatbelt. "Thank you for the ride and the company. I really appreciate it."

"You're very welcome, Lulu. Have a good night."

Lulu yawned and made her way up the path to her home. As she reached her front door she vaguely wondered how Maxie's date with Cooper went. She really didn't like that Cooper hadn't told Maxie about Serena. Maybe it was nothing. Lulu was probably just over thinking it. She tended to do that a lot these days.

The baby-sitter looked more than relieved to be see Lulu and head on home. She smiled and shook her head as she wondered how much grief her son gave the poor high school girl.

Lulu sighed as she sunk down onto her couch and let her eyes slide shut. This was _not_ how she had envisioned her life when she was younger. She was supposed to go on wild adventures and jump out of planes like her parents. She couldn't deny that being a mom was perfect and everything she had imagined, but she was all alone. There was no Luke to her Laura. There was just Lulu and little Nathan. Life had been so much easier when Elvis had been her only companion. He never criticized anything she did, he never made her cry and he always been there whenever she needed him. Elvis had been the perfect boyfriend.

Lulu's eyes flew open and her heart skipped a beat as angry, loud knocking vibrated through her front door. She quickly stood up and went to look through the peep hole. With a confused expression on her face, she flung the door open and almost fell over as Johnny roughly pushed past her and situated himself in the middle of her living room.

"What the hell do you think you're doing with Logan Hayes?"

_What in the world?_

"Excuse me? Did I miss the part where I invited you in to _my_ home?"

"Don't change the subject, Lulu. Answer the damn question!"

She couldn't remember ever seeing Johnny so angry before. He had gotten frustrated and annoyed with her and other people plenty of times, but she had never seen him infuriated. Lulu ignored the part of her that liked the jealous, angry expression plastered to his handsome face.

"You have absolutely no right to come into _my_ house and order _me_ to tell _y_-" Lulu stopped her rant abruptly and sucked in an angry breath. "How do you know I was with Logan?"

If he was following her or having his stupid guards watch her she would kill him.

"It doesn't matter how I know-"

"It matters to me!"

"Well, it matters to me when you're hanging out with scum that I don't want anywhere _near_ my son!"

"Oh please!" Lulu yelled, shaking her head. "Logan and I met at Jake's. We had a few drinks. He was nowhere near Nathan. I don't see the problem even if he was!"

Johnny gave a cruel laugh. "Well of course you don't. You never do! You only ever think about yourself. You really have no idea how selfish you are."

"_I'm_ selfish? That's rich coming from the man who will hurt his entire family just so he doesn't have to feel guilty and take responsibility if any of them get hurt!"

"I'm protecting you and our son!" Johnny roared.

"Protecting?" Lulu shot back. She took her coat off and threw it to the ground. She really wanted to break something- _anything._ "Protecting? God, Johnny. I _hate_ you and your _stupid_ ideas of protecting! All Nate wants is to be in a home with mom _and_ dad. All I want is you, but it doesn't matter what _we_ want! It matters what _you_ want, because what Johnny Zaccarha wants, he gets! If he wants to live alone and angry, he lives alone and angry! If he wants somebody dead, they're dead! You're this cold, unfeeling monster, Johnny and it makes me SICK!"

"That's fantastic, Lulu. You act like I care what you think."

Lulu took pleasure in the cold, harsh voice he was serving her with. It only meant that she had struck a nerve. That was **exactly** what she had set out to do.

_I just wanted you to hurt as much as I was hurting._

Logan's words made perfect sense to Lulu as Johnny continued on.

"I don't care how you feel about what I'm doing. If I had, I would have asked you before I made any decisions. I'm sorry that doesn't agree with you and your feelings, but that doesn't mean you get to go around throwing yourself at Dillon or Logan or any other guy here in Port Charles. Get a grip on yourself, Lulu. You need to take a good look at yourself and your life. You have a son you need to think about and I don't think he'd be appreciative of all these strange men you're bringing into his life."

She wanted to pull her hair out or beat Johnny with a baseball bat. She had a feeling that the latter would make her feel _much_ better, _much_ faster. "You are utterly ridiculous! Dillon is my friend. Nathan liked him for your information. He thought Dillon was funny. I'm sure that just ticked you off even more. Admit it Johnny- the only reason you hate Dillon so much is because I'm a hell of a lot safer with him than I could ever be with you!"

There- she'd said it. She'd been thinking about it ever since Nathan had came home and announced he hated Dillon because daddy did. Johnny's hate for Dillon was ludicrous and made no sense to anyone but himself.

Lulu watched, unsure of what her battle partner was going to do. She hadn't expected for him to brush past her and leave. He slammed the front door so hard that it made her jump and a picture of an eleven month old Nathan fell off the wall and the glass shattered into pieces.

_Don't cry, Lulu. You're better than that._

It didn't work. The tears fell and her whole body shook as she crumpled to the ground and laid her head up against the arm of her couch.

_He was just jealous. He was just an ugly, green monster who didn't mean any of what he said. He'll apologize tomorrow. And he'll mean it._

She knew it was true, but so was everything he said. So was everything she said. There was a difference between them, though. He had never said any of those things before because he was a gentleman and because he didn't want to hurt her. She had never said them before because she had never had an opportunity to.

Lulu's head snapped up as a soft, little hand fell upon her head.

"Don't cry, mommy," Nathan told her. He sat down next to her and twisted a finger in her hair.

"Oh, Sweetie. Did mommy wake you up?"

"No," Nathan whispered. "Daddy did. He yells _really_ loud."

Lulu snuck her arms around his little waist and pulled him into a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry, baby boy. I didn't want you to hear any of that." She kissed the top of his blonde head, picked him up and carried him up the stairs. "You didn't step in any of the glass, did you?"

Nathan shook his head, "No. I was careful." Lulu smiled and kissed his cheek. She noticed how the hall light was on and his bedroom door was wide open. He had been listening for awhile.

"Okay, baby. Don't worry about me and daddy. We love you so much, okay?"

"Do you hate daddy?"

Lulu gave a sad smile and inwardly cursed herself as a tear slipped out from the corner of her eye.

"No, Nate. I don't hate daddy. He just gets me _really_ angry sometimes."

"Like me when I eat cookies before dinner."

Lulu laughed aloud and pulled the covers over his body. "Goodnight Nathan."

"Goodnight mommy. I love you."

"I love you too, baby boy. Sweet dreams," Lulu said, leaving his door open just a crack.

Exhausted and teary eyed, Lulu made her way to the end of the hall and into her room. She quickly drew herself a bath and turned on the radio. She needed something to drown out Johnny's words.

Lulu stripped herself of her clothes and sunk into the hot tub. The tears fell and the cruel words she had laid upon Johnny floated back to her, as did his. When would they stop hurting one another? When would one of them just put up a white flag and surrender?

Lulu had always liked Sarah McLachlan. Until now. Her words rang to true and she was sick of people's words floating around in her head. There was Maxie's, Johnny's, Logan's, Nathan's, and now some woman she had never even met. She just wanted to _scream._

Lulu settled for crying.

* * *

A/N: I figured just one more chapter before I head back to school. You guys were so funny with all of your Logan hate. I think a bit of you guys know that I'm a L&L3 Fan too, but you had to know that Logan wasn't here to fill my L&L3 Fan heart with fluff. He was here to serve a purpose and he will be back.

My cliffhanger from last chapter will be picked up next chapter. I know I'm horrible. I'll try to get that one out as soon as I can, but I don't know why any of you would want it, because it also ends with a cliffhanger. :D


	9. Breathe Me

_A/N: A HUGE thanks goes out to Ms.Orange21 for naming Carly's daughter! Thank you! All the blame for this delayed chapter goes to my crazy teachers and the bagillion tests they gave me this week. Ick. Anyways, here is Chapter 9. It contains the "Wednesday" that the unknown woman and man were talking about and my cliffhanger that you were told about beforehand. : I'm not to sure about it, but I hope I don't disappoint anyone.

* * *

_

**Chapter Nine  
**Breathe Me

* * *

An amused Lulu watched as her little cousin Cassandra taught Nathan how to successfully build a snowman.

"She's _way_ too much like me for her own good," Carly stated, taking a seat next to Lulu on the park bench. "She's all mouth and attitude."

"Don't forget demanding and spoiled," Lulu added.

"Well, that's not _her_ fault!" Carly defended. "If you had a dad like Jax you'd be demanding and spoiled too. She just can't help it."

"Hmmhmm."

Carly nudged her cousin with her shoulder. With a soft smile on her face she asked, "How are you holding up?"

"Who told you?"

"I heard Maxie talking about it to Coop at Kelly's yesterday," Carly stated.

"So that's why you set up this little play date." Lulu shook her head smirking. She really ought to have known better. Carly didn't just call out of the blue without her own agenda.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Carly pouted.

"I've just needed some time to process it. That's all."

"You told Maxie!"

"Well, Maxie invites herself into my home and demands to know things. I'm just there to please," Lulu teased. Not getting a response, Lulu let out a sigh and looped her arm through her cousins. "Carly, I just haven't wanted to talk about it. It was bad. One of the worst fights we've ever had."

"Cassandra Jane!" Carly snapped. "Don't throw snow in Nate's eyes or we'll march right on home!"

"Liar," Lulu snickered. "You're not leaving until you get all the dirt."

"I don't think my seven year old is _that_ smart."

"She is a Spencer."

"Oh for the love of God, please do not remind me of that tiny fact."

"We Spencers are _anything_ but tiny."

Carly snorted. "Spare me."

Lulu smiled as Nathan piled more snow onto the snowman's head giving him the look of a snowman that had been hit on the head too many times to count. The poor little guy was not even two feet tall and had only one eye. To Lulu it was _art_.

She was so happy that Cassandra didn't listen to her eldest brother when it came to her and Nathan. The little blonde was so much like her mother and was determined to do what she wanted, when she wanted.

Cassandra and Nathan got along _extremely_ well. She was only about a year and eight months older than Nathan and loved to make him run around doing her errands. Nate didn't seem to mind. Lulu figured that the 'Carly pout' had gotten to him.

"Okay, so just tell me. On a scale of one to ten, how bad was it?"

Carly Jacks was relentless, that was for sure.

"Fifteen."

"You can't go off the scale, Lulu. That's cheating."

Lulu raised an eyebrow. "And you've been foreign to cheating since when exactly?"

"Don't exaggerate, okay?" Carly demanded, ignoring her cousin's previous comment. "One to ten."

"Ten."

"Are you exaggerating?"

"No. He was cruel. I was harsh. It was just one giant bitch fest with some testosterone mixed in."

"Well you know he didn't mean it right?"

"How the hell do you even know what he said?" Lulu said, raising her voice.

"I don't!" Carly shouted. "You said he was cruel. That's what Johnny does when he gets territorial and worried. He lashes out. I say it's from growing up with that wackjob of a father. All I can say is thank goodness Sonny got help when he did. I have enough trouble with Michael as it is. I don't know _what_ I would do if he was hell bent on being isolated from the world and lashing out to make that happen."

"I wish Michael didn't hate me so much," Lulu said, mournfully.

"He doesn't hate you," Carly told her cousin. "He hates Johnny and he hates that you married him and had a baby with him. Michael feels that you betrayed Sonny and Jason."

"That's crazy, Carly."

"I know, but he doesn't listen to me anymore. I just feel so helpless when it comes to him nowadays."

Leaning her head against Carly's shoulder, she gave her hand a tight squeeze. "At least you can still boss Morgan and Cassandra around."

Carly laughed and squeezed Lulu's hand back.

"For how many years is the question?"

* * *

"_You're this cold, unfeeling monster, Johnny and it makes me SICK!"_

Her angry voice pounded in his ears.

"_You act like I care what you think."_

His cruel, jealous words haunted him.

"_The only reason you hate Dillon so much is because I'm a hell of a lot safer with him than I could ever be with you!"_

The truth infuriated him.

"_Get a grip on yourself, Lulu."_

Jealousy was something that had never complimented Johnny well. It made him look angry, rude, and _weak._ He _loathed_ how Lulu could make him feel. She didn't even have to _do_ anything. Just putting herself in the same room as Logan had set fire in his veins.

He knew Lulu wasn't jumping into a relationship with that low life, but he wasn't sure what Logan's plans where. He just had to trust that Lulu had a strong head on her shoulders and wouldn't play right into his manipulating, dirty hands.

Now why couldn't he have said that instead of all the other cruel things he laid upon her?

Johnny splashed some cold water on his unshaven face and leaned against his bathroom sink. Lulu had to know that he hadn't meant any of the things he said to her. She had to know that he loved her.

It didn't matter anymore. Lulu probably hated him with a passion now. Johnny refused to admit to anyone, especially himself that that was the only reason he hadn't been by to see Nathan. He didn't want to see the hate shining bright and definite in her eyes. And he most definitely did _not_ want to see Logan Hayes lounging on the couch like it was _his_ house. It would _never_ be his house.

Three days had passed since his and Lulu's blow out and he still hadn't gotten all of the rage out. Yelling at her, breaking pictures, and storming out obviously hadn't been enough. He really needed to punch something.

First, he needed to go see his family.

* * *

Tonight was Wednesday and on Wednesdays Lulu and Nate had game night. They would just sit in the living room and play game after game after game, until Nathan's heart was content. Even though he felt like a creepy stalker, he couldn't help but sit in his car and just watch them through the window.

The way she smiled and had Nathan squealing with laughter with just one word, made his heart ache and warm at the same time. He missed being in on those moments and laughing along with Nate. Lulu was the funniest person he had ever met. He'd never tell _her_ that. It would go straight to her head and he would never hear the end of it.

Johnny remembered a time when it was the three of them in their big house laying on the couch watching movies on their lazy Sundays. Lulu's hair would brush against his cheek and her hand would lie upon his chest and nine out of ten times she would fall asleep halfway through the movie, snoring gently and mumbling nothings in her sleep.

"_You know you talk in your sleep, right?" Johnny asked before kissing the inside of her hand. _

"_Yes," Lulu mumbled angrily. "I've been informed. What did I say?"_

"_I couldn't really tell," Johnny told her. It was true. She was so quiet and all the words were smashed together. "The only words I could make out where 'funky cold medina'."_

_Lulu threw her head back and laughed. She reached out and swatted her hand against his bare chest. "I did _not_ say funky cold medina."_

_Johnny grinned and pulled her closer. "Maybe not, but it sure sounded like it."_

"_In your dreams," Lulu mumbled, crashing her lips into his._

Johnny smiled at the fond memory and parked his car a distance from Lulu's house. He didn't want to alert her to his presence. He _really_ didn't feel like getting a broken nose or a cracked windshield. Even _if_ he deserved it.

Johnny quickly rested his eyes on the wide window that easily let him see into the living room. Nate and Lulu were sitting across from each other setting up a board game. He watched as Nate jumped up and ran up the stairs with Lulu right behind him. A few minutes passed and there was no movement in the living room until his favorite blonde reappeared in the living room.

He saw the glass break before he heard the single gunshot. He saw her body fall to the ground before he could even reach his door handle. Johnny didn't care that at any moment he could be shot down. He had to see if she was okay. He had to know if she had been hit or if she had just hit the floor in an effort to protect herself. He had to make sure she was alright. He had to make sure their son was safe.

It was too much déjà vu for Johnny to handle and he tried to push the panic down as it fought to evade his senses. He couldn't afford to be rash.

Opening the door, Johnny slid into the house and held his gun firm. He saw her blonde hair spread out on the floor and the blood pooling around her lithe form. He felt his heart fall and his hands begin to shake as Johnny stared at the unmoving body. She wasn't _breathing._


	10. Close Calls and Flying Pigs

**Chapter Ten  
**Close Calls and Flying Pigs

* * *

Lulu sat in the hospital's church and stared at the dried blood on her hands. Silent tears made their way down her face and onto her blood stained shirt. This wasn't _exactly_ how she had pictured her Wednesday evening. 

She hadn't planned on Maxie coming over.

She hadn't planned on someone trying to kill her.

She hadn't planned on someone else taking the bullet for her.

She hadn't planned to see Johnny busting through the door with a gun in hand.

She hadn't planned on Nathan seeing Maxie dying on their living room floor.

She hadn't planned on holding her dying best friends hand in the ambulance with tears streaming down her face.

She hadn't planned on camping out in the hospital all night, but these days nothing went the way Lulu planned. The _whole damn world_ was against her having just **one** normal week.

Maxie was going to be okay. That was good news, but it still didn't make anything better.

That bullet that Monica had removed from Maxie's shoulder had been meant for her. Someone- that same someone who was sending Johnny warnings, was trying to kill her and there was nothing she could do to stop it. All she could do was hope that when they finally succeeded, Nathan was someone very far away.

Lulu pulled her legs up, tucked her knees underneath her chin and almost laughed. Seven years ago she would have laughed hysterically if someone had told her she would be crying over Maxie Jones. They sure where an odd friendship if you asked the veterans of Port Charles.

Seven years ago Maxie and Lulu were enemies and slowly but surely they had become frienemies. Being best friends had just come naturally. She remembered the first time Maxie had actually done something nice for Lulu.

It was almost six years ago that Lulu had been in that car accident. Of all the people in the world she hadn't expected Maxie Jones to be the one to pull her out her car, hold her hand and call 911.

"_Why'd you do it?" Lulu asked from her hospital bed._

"_I wasn't just going to leave you there to die," Maxie scoffed. "My heart isn't that black."_

"_You hate me, Maxie."_

"_Wrong. I did hate you. Now it's cooled to a hasty dislike. And even if I still hated you, I wouldn't leave you there to die in a car explosion."_

"_My car exploded?" Lulu asked, trying to sit up. She instantly regretted it as her ribs ached in protest. She hurt everywhere. _

"_No," Maxie snapped, rolling her eyes. "I'm just saying. It could happen."_

"_You are such a drama queen."_

"_And you're an attention whore."_

"_Oh, thanks," Lulu said sarcastically. "You can leave now."_

"_Fine by me! And don't ask me to save your ungrateful life ever again!"_

"_I didn't ask!" Lulu yelled at her retreating back. _

_Maxie threw one last glare over her shoulder, but stumbled as Lulu's doctor opened the door and hit her in the arm._

With a small smile, Lulu remembered him telling her she was pregnant. So many things had coursed through her mind. She remembered feeling over-whelmed, scared, confused, surprised, and _happy_.

This time around there wouldn't be heart broken tears and there wouldn't be an abortion clinic. She was pregnant with a baby that wasn't conceived out of a deep infatuation.

"_Pregnant?" Lulu asked herself. "I'm pregnant."_

"_That's what he said," Maxie said, slowly. Maxie placed her coat on the side of the hospital bed and took a seat next to Lulu. "What are you going to do?"_

"_I'm not going to get rid of it, if that's what you're talking about."_

"_Don't put words in my mouth, Spencer. I'm just saying Logan's been trying to get you back and now you're pregnant. Oh god, it's not Logan's is it?"_

"_No!" Lulu yelled appalled. She wasn't a slut or hussy. She wasn't Maxie!_

"_Johnny Z?"_

"_Yes." Lulu placed a hand softly on her stomach and leant back against her pillows. Lulu narrowed her eyes at Maxie. "Why do you even care? Weren't you just leaving?"_

_Maxie sighed and folded her arms across her chest. "Look, Lesley Lu. This is me trying to be 'friendly' okay. I'm not saying let's be BFF's or whatever, but I really don't want to spend the rest of my natural born days harboring hate and resentment for you."_

"_You're not very good at being 'friendly'."_

"_And you're not very good at using birth control."_

"_Get out!" Lulu snapped, pushing Maxie's arm. Rolling her eyes, Maxie grasped Lulu's hand and forced her to look at her._

"_I'm sorry."_

_Lulu stared at her for a moment and then eased off the bed and looked out of the small window. _

"_What are you doing, Lulu?"_

"_I'm looking for the flying pigs."_

_Maxie jumped off the bed and crossed her arms over her chest. "If you want to hate me for all the things I've done to you then fine, hate me. It won't make me toss and turn at night, because I tried. Now, I'm in a forgiving and loving mood so I'm going to try one more time. Let's put the past in the past, Lulu. Friends?"_

_Lulu stared at the hand Maxie placed in front of her and contemplated it. What did she really have to lose? She wasn't going to tell Maxie all of her dark secrets or anything. They were just going to be civil to one another and give small smiles when they passed each other on the streets. There wasn't harm in that, was there?_

"_We don't have to braid each others hair or anything, do we?"_

Fast forward six years later and she's Aunt Maxie and Lulu's closest friend aside from Spinelli. Life was so funny like that.

Lulu jumped slightly as a hand fell onto her shoulder.

"Sorry," Johnny apologized quietly.

"S'okay," Lulu muttered against her knee.

Johnny took a seat next to her and tangled his hand in her hair. She couldn't help but fall into his chest and bury her face in his neck. Lulu was shocked when he pulled her closer. She almost died of disbelief when Johnny kissed the top of her head and held her tighter.

"I thought it was you," he whispered. He sounded so broken.

Lulu's eyes screwed shut as she felt tear drops on the side of her face. In the eight years she had known Johnny Zacchara he had never once cried. _Never._ Carly swore up and done he was a mess while Lulu was in surgery after being shot, but he had appeared so calm and collected when she had woken up Lulu thought Carly saw wrong.

"But it wasn't," Lulu told him, leaning up to look at him. "I'm fine. Nate's fine and- and I know Maxie is going to be fine. She's a fighter."

Resting his forehead against hers, he brushed the pad of his thumb over her lips. She closed her eyes and couldn't help but revel in their closeness.

"I've missed you so much, Lulu."

"I've missed you too."

Lulu felt Johnny tilt his head and brush his lips against hers. Even though he had said hateful things the other night, she wasn't about to push him away. She needed him just like he needed her. And she knew he was the only one who could put her shattered pieces back together, but Lulu wasn't really sure if she was _ready_ to get put back together.

"I get why you push me away, Johnny. I didn't, until today while I held Maxie's hand and tried to stop the bleeding. It was so much- _too much_. But- I understand why you keep pushing me away."

Lulu took his hands and linked her fingers through his.

"There's something you need to understand, Johnny. I'm a Spencer. I was born in danger. I grew up in it! I was facing life and death situations long before I _ever_ met you. I know you have enemies. Deadly enemies at that, but I'd rather die with you than without you."

Lulu held her breath as his eyes searched hers and she wasn't sure what he was looking for exactly, but it seemed after awhile that he had found it.

"Maybe you're right."

* * *

"You shot the wrong one?" a dark haired woman sitting in a plush, leather chair asked. 

"Yes," her associated answered.

The woman shook her head and let out a bitter laugh.

"I ask for one _little, simple_ task and you can't deliver."

"Listen, Ms. Zacchara," he pleaded. "They were both blondes and I didn't realize her friend was in the house-"

"That's your excuse? They're both blondes? Pathetic." She pushed herself out from behind the desk, raised her gun and pulled the trigger. The body fell to the ground with a thud as the woman shook her head, regretfully.

"Such a waste," she muttered to herself. Glaring at a picture of Lulu and Nathan mounted on the desk she grabbed a pen and wrote a small sentence on a slip of paper.

Gliding through the office, Ms. Zacchara dropped the paper onto the body and exited her old home.

* * *

_A/N: So, I totally just gave you guys a few clues to the puzzle. The first person who can figure out where you've seen that guy in Crash Into You before, I'll so tell you whatever you want to know, because it makes you amazing in my book. :_


	11. Fight Club

_A/N: So this is my longest chapter ever. 2,377 words. Eight pages on MicrosoftWord. Happy? I hope so. :) I also hope you all enjoy! Oh, and I lied! About meeting a new character. She'll be in the next chapter, I promise. :)

* * *

_

**Chapter Eleven  
**Fight Club

* * *

He really had no clue as to why the hell he was here. 

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Apparently Maxie agreed.

Johnny sighed and fully entered Maxie's hospital room. He stood awkwardly at the foot of the bed with his hands shoved in his pockets. If he didn't feel _so_ damn guilty and if Nathan hadn't _begged_ him he would _not_ be here.

He took a long look at the wounded blonde and felt even guiltier. She didn't look to good with bags under her eyes, an arm in a sling, and a scowl on her face. Johnny guessed that the scowl came from his presence and _not_ her near death experience.

Sighing, Johnny pulled out a folded piece of paper and handed it to Maxie. "Nathan made it."

Maxie's eyes softened and a small smile formed as she unfolded the artwork and scanned her eyes over it. "He is so sweet," Maxie whispered, grinning. "He obviously got that from his mother."

Johnny rolled his eyes.

"Oh," Maxie said looking up from the artwork. "You're still here?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"About how much you suck? Because I can go on and on about that topic for hours. Just ask your wife," Maxie told him vindictively. "Oops! I mean ex-wife. But I guess I should thank you for dumping Lulu like she was nothing. I mean after all, you and I both know you're not good enough for her."

Johnny forgot how much of a bitch Maxie Jones could be. At least one good thing came out of her mouth- he had to remember to call his lawyer and have him get rid of those offending divorce papers.

"Truth hurt, Johnny Z?"

"Yeah," Johnny said. "It stings like a _bitch_." Maxie didn't miss the emphasis he put on his insulting name for her and shot him a glare.

"What do you want?"

"To talk to you," Johnny said slowly. "I didn't know you get brain damage from an arm injury."

"_Arm injury_?" Maxie asked incredulously. "Is that what the gangsters are callin' it these days? _Man,_ I am _so_ behind on all the lingo."

She was nasty. Just like a virus. He really had no idea what Lulu or his son saw in her.

Johnny decided to ignore her non-stop jabbering and continue on. "I wanted to apologize for what happened yesterday. I should have had more guards watching the house and-"

"Bullet proof glass would have been nice too."

"Yes," Johnny grinded out. "I know and I'm sorry that it wasn't installed."

"Is it installed now?" Maxie asked.

"There's no need. Lulu and Nathan won't be living there anymore." Johnny couldn't help but smile at that little fact.

"What are you talking about?" Maxie asked, eyes widening.

"Lulu and Nate moved back into my home last night."

"No!" Maxie shouted. "Absolutely not! Lulu would never forgive you after what you pulled!"

"Well she did. So maybe you should take your concerns up with Lulu."

"Take what up with me?" Lulu asked from behind. Johnny turned around and swore he stopped breathing. He would never get over how beautiful his Lulu was, from the top of her shiny blonde hair down to her favorite winter boots.

"Tell me!" Maxie shouted, missing the soft looks that were being shared. "You did not take this, this, this- _him_ back!"

Lulu laughed. "We're not back together," she told Maxie.

_That's what you think._

"We just agreed that Nate and I are safer with Johnny. And maybe somewhere down the line we'll reconcile, but for now we're just two adults providing a safe home for our son."

_For now._

Despite his contradicting thoughts Johnny nodded his agreement.

Last night he had finally accepted that Lulu had a better chance of happiness and survival if he was with her at all times. What was he really accomplishing by pushing her away? She started to loathe and resent him. Even worse she was free to see who she wanted. With Lulu, it was usually someone he didn't like, but then again would he ever like the man that was replacing him?

_No,_ his conscience told him. _No you wouldn't_.

"But you forgive him? For _everything?_ I didn't watch over sixty episodes of _Veronica Mars_ just so you could take Johnny Z back not even _five months later_! I feel _cheated_ and _manipulated_!"

Johnny hadn't expected for Lulu to get mad or anything but he really didn't expect to look over and see her smiling. He really didn't see how any of this was funny. Maxie, yet again, was making everything about her. How the hell was Lulu and him working things out any of her business? So she'd have to drive a little extra to come rant about her bad hair day, big deal. And she sure as hell wasn't going to be letting herself into his home anytime soon. Over his dead body would Maxie Jones get a key to his house.

"Well what do you want?" Lulu asked. "A refund?"

"This is so typical," Maxie mumbled, leaning back against her bed. "Everyone just takes and takes and takes and then just expects Maxie to accept when they decide to change everything without even consulting her."

"Does she always refer to herself in the third person?" Johnny whispered to Lulu.

"Just when she's really angry," Lulu whispered back.

"You bet your ass I'm really angry!" Maxie yelled.

"Would a chocolate muffin from Kelly's make it better?"

Maxie glared but it couldn't find it in her to resist. The jello here wasn't anything to brag about, after all.

"Make it two and a vanilla late."

"I'm on it!" Lulu said. Little bolts made their way through Johnny as Lulu clasped her hand in his and gave it a squeeze. He turned his head slightly and out of the corner of his eye watched her leave. He wanted to go with her, but he still had some things to finish up with Maxie.

"You're a real piece of work, you know that?" Johnny told her.

"Don't think I didn't just see that little hand holding that just took place."

"Don't care if you did."

"Look, Johnny Z. I'm sorry that I'm jumping down your throat. I want Lulu to be happy. And for reasons unknown to me and the rest of Port Charles you do so. I also want my godson to have a dad. And once again, that's you."

"Would you rather it be Logan Hayes?"

"Oh, God, no!" Maxie yelled, looking thoroughly disgusted. "I'll be honest with you; I'd rather you be with Lulu then _him_ any day."

At least she had a brain on her shoulders.

"What I'm saying is that you seem to be the remedy to gloomy days and sad faces. So work your magic. You know you only get one more chance in her book, right?"

Johnny cocked an eyebrow and nodded.

"I know."

"People can only be so forgiving."

"Now, where was this level headed person two minutes ago?"

"I had to get her out of here so I could talk to you somehow!"

Johnny shook his head. "No. You were being a-" Maxie gave him a pointed look. "-_brat_ before Lulu got here."

Maxie smirked and rolled her eyes. "I wasn't about to let you get away that easily. I'm totally here eating nasty three week old turkey and jello because of your killer enemies."

"I _am_ sorry about that Maxie," he said sincerely. Just because he didn't care for Maxie and thought she was the biggest drama queen he ever met, didn't mean he wanted her hurt or dead.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she mumbled.

* * *

Johnny gave a sigh of relief as he closed the door to Maxie's room behind him. She gave him the worst headache imaginable and he had only been in there for maybe ten minutes. 

Johnny smirked as he passed by the nurse's station and overheard Patrick and Robin Drake arguing about something or another. According to Lulu that was their way of flirting.

"Hold the elevator!" Johnny called and thankfully a hand shot out, stopping the doors from closing. "Thank-" His appreciation died as he realized who the hand belonged too.

"Hey there partner," Logan drawled. "I was wondering when we were going to run into each other."

"Me too. Only I was hoping you'd get hit by a car on your way."

Logan smirked and said, "I really don't know what Lulu sees in you."

"I think it's my good looks."

Johnny couldn't let this ass get to him. Play it cool, throw some sarcasm - whatever it takes _not_ to pound his face in, even if that was extremely tempting.

"I never did applaud you," Logan continued on. Apparently, he liked to hear himself talk. "Getting Lulu pregnant was the best plan I think you ever had, because there was _no way_ she was going to leave me for _you _any other way and you know it."

Johnny couldn't help but laugh. Was this guy serious? Lulu had left Logan after coming to the conclusion that she didn't love him. She and Johnny had been together for six months and every day Logan had been in the background, waiting. It wasn't until he caught wind of the pregnancy that he left town with his tail between his legs.

"And they said Laura Spencer was crazy."

"Does Lulu know you talk about her mother like that?" Logan asked, taking a step closer to Johnny.

"Don't concern yourself with Lulu."

"Or what?"

Johnny shook his head in response. Logan was only adding to the headache that Maxie had inflicted. They really were a match made in Hell, but not even the ever annoying Maxie would take Logan Hayes in.

"You were right before, pushing Lulu away for her own safety. It's what's best for her."

This guy was really starting to piss him off.

"Didn't I just tell you to _not_ concern yourself with Lulu?"

"Lulu's my friend and I care about what happens to her. Especially if she's getting shot every damn day of the week."

"Maxie's the one who got shot, you dimwit."

"But it was intended for Lulu," Logan told him, taking another step closer.

"So not only are you a waste of sperm and egg, but you're also a waste of brain cells. You're mom must be _so_ proud."

"I'm a waste of sperm and egg? I think that would be that little brat you call a son."

A vein in Johnny's neck throbbed and decided to kick his conscience to the curb. He grabbed the collar of Logan's shirt and shoved him against the elevator door.

"You want to pout in the corner because Lulu loves me and not you all the meanwhile throw immature insults at me, that's fine. I frankly don't give a damn! But bring mine and _Lulu's_ son in this and I swear to God I won't be held responsible for what I do to you."

"Go ahead," Logan baited. "Hit me. I would love to have you spend the night behind bars."

"You want me to hit you?" Johnny asked, raising an eyebrow. Logan didn't miss the dark look in his eye. It reminded him of Anthony Zacchara the night of the Black and White Ball.

"Isn't that what I just said?"

It was simultaneous as the elevator dinged and the doors slid open just as Johnny slammed his fist into Logan's face. Johnny felt nothing but triumph as Logan's head bashed against the elevator door before he sprawled out onto the ground. Never again would he complain about the slow opening of the doors here at General Hospital.

Logan jumped up off the hospital floor and tried to come at him with his own angry fist, but Johnny squashed it with a swift knee to the groin. Logan fell back onto the floor with a thud.

The shocked nurses and doctors watched as Johnny Zacchara exited the hospital with a smile and a bounce in his step.

* * *

Opening the front door to his house Johnny smiled as he tripped over one of Nathan's footballs blocking the doorway. The kid flat-out _refused_ to join a team, but begged Johnny at least three times a day to go outside and play with him. 

"Lulu?" Johnny called out. "Nate?"

"We're up here!" Lulu's voice called from up the stairs. Just then his cell phone vibrated in his back pocket.

"Okay!" Johnny yelled back, reaching to grab his phone. "I'll be up in a minute!" Sliding his phone opened he calmly spoke into it. "Zacchara."

"Why hello Johnny," a sweet, sickly voice greeted.

"And who is this?"

The woman on the other end gave a sad sigh. "Well, I'm very disappointed you don't remember me, because _I_ remember _you_."

"That's nice," Johnny snapped. "Who is this?"

"Did you get my roses?"

Johnny became very still.

"How is Lulu? And little Nathan?"

Closing his eyes Johnny took a deep breath through his nose. "What do you want?"

"Oh, I want so _many_ things."

"What do you want?" He repeated.

"Lulu. Dead. But since everyone seems to keep getting in the way of that, I guess that's not going to happen."

"You're right. It's not."

"Confidence is _so_ overrated."

"Who are you?"

"So greedy. Can't you just be satisfied with the fact that I killed him for you? Well, I'll be honest- it was more for me than you."

Johnny's heart stopped for a split second and then began to loudly pound in his ears.

"Who?"

"Davis."

_Shit_.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because he didn't follow directions. He was supposed to lodge that bullet into your _precious Lulu's_ heart. Not Maxie Jones' arm."

"Davis was the spy."

It all made sense now. How all the notes had gotten into his room, how all those pictures had been taken of Lulu and Nate without Davis, their bodyguard, noticing, and how this woman couldn't seem to be tracked down. He had put his trust in the wrong person.

"Now, I think I've helped you out quite enough for one day. The rest, I'm hoping you can figure out on your own. Oh! Just one more thing, you might want to get some janitors down to your office. I believe dead bodies stink."

"Bitch," Johnny muttered as he heard the dial tone. She had killed Davis in his own office.

Well, if Scott Baldwin wasn't dragging him down to the station for the ass kicking he had handed his son it was definitely going to be for murder.


	12. Closer to You

_A/N: This chapter was _really_ hard to write. I think it was because there's JoLu closeness which, for me, is harder to write. I find angst much easier. : I don't really care for this chapter, but it's needed to set up for the next chapter, which is a cliffie by the way. I told you guys, I LOVE those things! They're oh so fun to write. Anyways, I hope you guys like this chapter. And just in case anyone cares, I listened to the song _Closer to You_ by Young Love the entire time I wrote this. It totally inspired the ending.

* * *

_

**Chapter Twelve  
**Closer to You

"I'm going to make one for you now, Mommy," Nathan told Lulu.

"Yeah?" Lulu asked with a smile. Nate smacked his hand into the bowl filled with blue paint. "Oh Nate! It's _finger_ painting! Take notice to the finger part, little man." Lulu grimaced as she saw numerous dots of blue paint on her shirt.

"I told you to change your shirt mommy," Nate said. Lulu almost laughed at the sternness in his voice. He sounded like Johnny when he talked like that.

"Your mom doesn't listen to many people," that rough voice she loved so much said from behind.

Speaking of Johnny . . .

"Hey, hey! Don't gang up on me you two," Lulu warned, dipping two fingers into some pink paint.

"Are you making Maxie a get wall piece of artwork too?" Johnny teased

"Ha ha, very funny. I'm painting myself something pretty, thank you."

Lulu looked up from her task at hand and over to Johnny. He was tense and she noticed that his knuckles were slightly bruised.

"Punching walls again?" Lulu asked lightly, turning back to her artwork.

"What?" Johnny snapped.

Lulu sighed and shook her head. "Nothing."

She wasn't stupid, something had obviously happened. Johnny didn't just walk into his home tensed up and looking like he was ready to knock the next person out who even looked at him wrong. She hoped it wasn't Maxie. She meant well, but usually just ended up pissing Johnny off.

"So what did you want to talk to Maxie about?" Lulu asked. It was her weak attempt at making conversation and prying all at the same time. She hated it when he would just stand in one spot and stare. She wanted to know what was going on inside that thick head of his.

"Not much, don't worry about it."

"Nate, baby, mommy and daddy are going to go downstairs and talk. Will you be okay by yourself?"

"I'm not a baby, mom," Nate said, rolling his eyes. Ugh, that was a horrible habit that he no doubt picked up from Aunt Maxie.

Lulu kissed the top of his head. "You'll always be my baby."

She could feel Johnny's eyes on her back as they made their way down the stairs and into the foyer. It used to creep her out, but now it just made her feel safe.

"Are you okay?" Lulu whispered softly. He gave her a brief smile and nodded.

"Yeah. I just had a run in with Logan. That's all."

"What did he say?"

"Just shot his mouth off."

"And what did you do?"

"Nothing."

Lulu raised an eyebrow.

"What?" Johnny exclaimed. "I didn't do anything!"

"Don't lie to me."

"Look, it's fine. I handled him."

"Don't say that!" Lulu groaned, smacking her forehead with her hand. "That makes it sound like you put a bullet in his head and rolled his body into the harbor!"

"And that would be bad?"

"Oh you are so hilarious, Johnny Zacchara. Laugh out loud_ funny_."

Johnny gave her a genuine smile and Lulu found herself almost _swooning._

That was such a girly thing to do and was so _not_ Lulu, but she couldn't exactly help the fact that Johnny made her go weak in the knees with just _one_ tiny smile.

"I'm glad you and Nate are back home."

"Me too," Lulu said honestly.

Johnny reached out and intertwined his fingers in hers.

"Even if it is temporary." His eyes were everywhere but at hers.

"It doesn't have to be," Lulu whispered.

"Why would you even want to come back?" Johnny asked, squeezing her hand.

"Your good looks, _obviously_."

Johnny smirked and pulled her into a hug.

"Nice dodge," he said into her hair.

Lulu laughed against the side of his neck and tugged onto his hand. "Now, what do you say to you, me and some finger painting?"

Johnny raised an eyebrow. "That's not very manly."

"No," she agreed. "But it's very fatherly."

"I already have the Father of the Year award, silly."

"Really? Hmm, I must have missed that announcement."

"I guess so."

Lulu had to admit that it was nice. This comfortable, safe, and caring place that only Johnny had ever given her was _really_ nice. He would probably never fully understand how much he had saved her. He had showed her how truly important she was and how much she was wanted. It was silly but Johnny had made her feel _special_.

"So," Lulu sighed. "Are you going to get dirty and colorful with me?"

"No paint on the face," Johnny ordered giving her a pointed look.

"Paint on the face? That's rude."

"I know! Yet every single time Nate wants to finger paint I end up with purple or pink all over my face."

"Have you ever thought that maybe I was giving you some tips?" Lulu suggested a sly grin on her face.

"Tips?"

"Yep. Purple and pink match your skin tone marvelously."

"No it doesn't."

"You're a male so you wouldn't know."

"You're just making things up now."

Lulu smiled and quickly brushed past him heading for the stairs.

"I'm serious, Lulu. No paint on the face!"

His only reply was laughter and hurried footsteps.

"Lulu!"

* * *

Johnny lent back in his chair and pursed his lips together. Nathan gave a giggle and continued on painting an ocean. Lulu stared down at her paper all while biting back a smile.

"I thought we agreed," Johnny said slowly. "No paint on my face."

Lulu furrowed her eyebrows together and cast her eyes on him. "If I recall correctly you yelled that demand and I laughed. No agreement."

"Yeah daddy," Nate giggled. "You have to get it in writing."

"Yeah daddy," Lulu mocked. Johnny gave her a glare which only made her burst out into laughter. "Oh come on! At least it's not pink paint."

"Oh yeah, because green paint on my face is just so much better."

"I think so. It brings out your eyes."

The ringing of the door bell tore through their conversation.

Lulu pushed herself up off the ground. "I'll get it."

Lulu almost forgot how many stairs this place had. That was one thing that she definitely hadn't missed.

Of all the people in the world, Lulu hadn't expected to find Serena Baldwin on her front step with that smirk that reminded her way to much of Logan's plastered to her face. She still had that long flowing blonde hair that Lulu remembered Serena caring about so much. It was her pride and joy she had once said.

"Hey Stranger!" Serena greeted, pulling Lulu into a hug. "You should have told me you're protected more than the president. Security is crazy here!"

Lulu smiled and hugged her back. "Johnny's cautious."

Serena cocked an eyebrow and her smirk widened, if that was even possible.

"Cautious? I guess you could call it that."

"So what are you doing here?" Lulu blurted out.

"Nice to see you too. And I'm here for a few reasons. Yell at your husband, see how you're doing and last but certainly not least, finally meet the prodigy that is your son. Where is he?"

Lulu could have sworn that Serena was actually bouncing on the balls of her feet. She really had never met a person as happy as Serena.

"Upstairs-"

"Did he send you to do his dirty work?" Johnny asked voice tight. Lulu could feel his chest pressing against her back.

"What are you talking about?" Lulu asked. She whipped her head around to look at Johnny and then turned back to Serena. _What was going on_?

Serena's eyes narrowed.

"No," she answered. "No he did not. Actually, I convinced him to _not _press charges against you. Even though he has every right to."

"Logan?" Lulu asked.

"Yes," Serena said. Her features lightened as she addressed her old friend. "Apparently, Johnny here thought it would be a good idea to kick the crap out of my big brother. Now, I know he can be a smart ass and I'm almost positive he was asking for an uppercut, but come on! The groin? Low blow- literally."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Lulu shouted. "You beat Logan up?"

Johnny crossed his arms over his chest and gave her a blank stare.

"What are you twelve? That's exactly what he wanted, Johnny!"

"I know," he said. "He flat out told me to hit him."

"And you were more than happy to comply, right?" Lulu shook her head disapprovingly.

"Of course he was," Serena said, as she pushed her way inside the home.

"Did we invite you in?" Johnny asked.

"It's cold!"

"Be nice," Lulu whispered softly. She almost jumped out of her skin as she felt his hand rest on the small of her back.

"Whoa," Serena said, eyes fixed on Johnny. "Aren't you just a pretty little thing?"

"Shut up and get out," Johnny bit out. His hand flew up to the side of his face and rubbed furiously in an attempt to get the paint off.

"Why did you wait so long?" Lulu asked, laughing. "Do you like how it brings out your eyes?"

"Shut up."

"So how'd you convince Logan to not press charges?" Lulu asked Serena. She could still feel Johnny glaring at her, but the hand on her back had yet to move.

"I'm his sister," she said simply. "I have my ways."

"Well, thank you. We appreciate it."

"Speak for yourself," Johnny said.

"He's grateful, really."

"I can-" Serena was cut off by the ringing of the doorbell that was followed by an insistent knocking. "I had no idea you two were _this_ popular."

Lulu opened up the front door and was only mildly surprised to see Lucky. She had been expecting this. Word had to get around that she moved back in with Johnny and Lucky and Nikolas would be furious when they caught wind. Only, Detective Cruz stood behind Lucky, not Nikolas.

Lulu turned her head around to look at Serena.

"I thought you talked to Logan," she said.

"I did!"

Serena looked a hell of a lot more surprised to see the police than Johnny did.

Something else was going on and it had _nothing_ to do with Logan Hayes.

"Lulu," Lucky said. "I really wish you hadn't moved back in here. It makes things all the more difficult."

"It doesn't have to be difficult," she told him. "Why are you here?"

"Johnny Zacchara," Detective Cruz said, pushing past brother and sister. "We need to take you down to the station for questioning."

"Daniel Davis was found shot to death in your office," Lucky told him.

_Daniel Davis_? That name sounded so familiar.

"Johnny-"

"Don't worry, Lu," his voice was so calm and soothing even though _he_ was the one being dragged out of his home. "I didn't do anything. I'll be home before dinner."

Seeing Johnny being arrested was something that Lulu had become accustomed too. That didn't mean it didn't hurt her heart every time she saw it. Her heart got stuck in her throat every single time, afraid that _this_ would be the time Johnny would get sent away for life.

Lulu couldn't tell anyone what came over her to make her say it in front of Serena Baldwin, her brother and some cop she had only met a few times, but she did. She just _had_ to say it.

"I love you."

Johnny stopped and turned back to look at her, despite Cruz trying to push him through the door.

"I love you too."


	13. Baby, You Jumble Me Up

_A/N: I had wanted to get this out last weekend, but a certain Persuasive Essay just wouldn't allow it. I hope you guys like it and I hope I don't disappoint anyone. I'm dedicating this long overdue update to Johnny Magnet. (: Happy belated birthday!!

* * *

_

**Chapter Thirteen  
**Baby, You Jumble Me Up

* * *

Johnny crossed his arms over his chest and gave his brother-in-law an amused expression from across the table.

If Lucky thought that he would seriously kill a guy and leave the body in his office than not only was the guy luckless, but he also had a brain that worked for shit.

"You're not under arrest, Johnny," Lucky told him.

"Then can I go?" He asked. He really just wanted to go back home and talk things out with Lulu. He wanted her to know that he meant it. That it wasn't something he said to make her feel better. He wanted to _show_ her that he truly meant it.

"Just answer a few questions and then you're free to leave."

"Ask away."

"Don't you want your lawyer?" Lucky asked.

Johnny raised an eyebrow. "Did I ask for one?"

Lucky gave an annoyed sigh. "Look Johnny, I know you didn't kill that guy-"

"That's nice."

"Do you know about anyone who would want him dead?"

_Yes._

"Can't say that I do."

It wasn't _exactly_ a lie. He had no idea what her name was or what she even looked like. All he knew was that that bitch's days were numbered.

"You don't know of anyone who would want him dead?"

Johnny planted his hands on the table and leaned forward.

"No."

Lucky shook his head and stood up. They had never been close what with Johnny being in the mob and Lucky being a cop. A few months before everything had been shot to hell- literally- they had become somewhat friendly and Lucky had finally begun to accept that Johnny could keep his little sister safe. They were no where near close to sharing a beer over the Super Bowl, but at least they had kept all meetings amicable.

"Think about it some more," Lucky told him before shutting the door to the interrogation room behind him.

* * *

Lulu smiled to herself as she stroked Nathan's soft hair as he slept. He looked so much like Johnny when he was sleeping, but she could still detect the Spencer in him. She thought maybe it was the smirk that lingered on his lips or his nose that was without a doubt hers.

"Gumdrop," her dad whispered from behind.

"One second," she whispered back. Lulu quickly placed a kiss on her son's forehead and with one last loving glance closed his bedroom door, leaving only a tiny crack of it open. Just enough to let the hallway light leak in.

Luke gathered his daughter into his arms and placed his own kiss on the top of her head.

"Thank you for coming on such short notice. I know baby-sitting isn't exactly your-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Luke said, quick to interrupt. "Baby-sitting? I don't do baby-sitting."

Lulu raised an eyebrow and gave him an incredulous look.

"Then what do you call this? Keeping an eye on the grandson is also known as baby-sitting."

"No," he protested looking insulted. "I call it eating free food and watching thousands of channels on someone else's television and if a little person, oh say my grandson, decides to tiptoe his way downstairs and make himself comfy on the couch next to me then we might just share a brownie and talk football."

"Do you even watch football?"

Luke grinned. "That's the best part about kids. You don't have to have a clue of what they're talking about and they'll go on and on and on-"

"You're horrible. I see why Grandma Lesley raised me."

"I know," Luke agreed. "Football I can fake. Ballet? Not my specialty."

"I was never in ballet, dad."

"Oh. I guess that was my _other_ daughter."

"Hysterical, dad. You should have your own gig at The Venetian."

Resting his hands on her shoulders he said softly, "Tell her I said 'hi'."

"I will."

* * *

Johnny stepped out of the PCPD and shivered as the cold air assaulted him. He had half a mind to go visit his father and see if he knew anything about this woman, but he really didn't want to explain the part of why she was after him. It didn't matter how many times he had told dear old dad about Lulu and Nate, Anthony acted like it was a first and then ranted on about how he was going to get out and kill them both.

No, there had to be some other way to find out who this woman was without involving his dear old dad. He just hoped he found it soon.

Johnny whipped out his cell phone and quickly called home. He silently prayed she wasn't asleep. He needed to her voice.

"Hullo?" A familiar voice answered.

"Mr. Spencer?"

"Well hey there Johnny boy! Out of the joint already?"

Johnny grinned.

"Don't sound to disappointed, pops."

"I won't," Luke assured him. Johnny could hear the smile in his voice. "You'll be back there soon. The law likes to drag the well-known mobsters in for questioning all the time."

"I would imagine so. Where's Lulu?"

"Out."

"Where? Did she go alone?"

"Of course she went alone. Well besides that goon that you hired to stalk her."

"He's a bodyguard. He's protecting her."

"Talking, protecting- they're the same thing really."

Johnny let out an irritated sigh. "Talk to you later, pops."

"Don't call me-". Johnny hastily pushed the end button and called the only other person who would know where his wife was.

He had to commend his newest employee on answering the phone after only one ring.

"Yes, Mr. Zacchara?"

"Where are you, Clive?"

"Shadybrook."

Johnny's eyes slid shut. _Of course_.

* * *

"And that one there was taken earlier today," Lulu said pointing at the screen on her Kodak camera. "Nate loves to finger paint. He's so artistic and creative. I think he gets that from Johnny. I'd never have the patience to sit and create something and then actually see it through."

Lulu stared into the eyes of the woman that had given birth to her, the woman that had shaped Lulu's entire life without actually being there.

"His birthday's in a week. He's so excited. We're having it at The Haunted Star. I know, I know- it's a _bar_. A _casino_, but its special it's mine and there's lots of room. Nate's inviting all of his friends. Dad's gonna be there if you can even believe it."

Those eyes, _Lulu's eyes_, were vacant. No spark of recognition or understanding within them at all.

"I wish you could be there."

Lulu slipped her hand into her mother's and gave it a squeeze.

"Alexis called me the other day and told me that Johnny's lawyer made a big fuss about our divorce papers and how he made an error or something. I think he's full of crap. Johnny's stalling. Which is funny, considering he's the one who filed for divorce."

Not one single muscle in Laura's hand fluttered. Lulu tried to not let it get to her.

"I don't know, mom. Maybe something's changed. Maybe Johnny's finally realized that I'm a Spencer and with or without his help I'm going to get myself into some life-threatening situation."

Lulu let go of her mother's hand and took a seat on the bed.

"A part of me doesn't want to let him off that easy, but the other part is ecstatic. God, I'm all jumbled up and there's no one to sort me out."

Lulu felt so stupid. Not for just pouring her heart out to Johnny and not even knowing where they stood but for sitting in a crazy house talking to her catatonic mother.

"Life was so much easier when it was just me and Elvis. Even if he wasn't much company."

Giving a small smile Lulu pressed a kiss against her mother's flawless forehead and hurriedly made her way out of the stuffy room. After closing the door, Lulu leaned up against it, closed her eyes and slid down to the floor.

She was so pathetic. What kind of woman, _what kind of mother_ felt sorry for themselves and had pity parties while in the other room their mother was catatonic. Never to gain consciousness, never to meet her grandson or get to know her children like she knew the back of her hand.

"Things could be a lot worse," Lulu muttered to herself.

_So then get your ass off the floor_.

"Do you think if I had an exorcism, you'd leave me alone?" Lulu asked.

_Careful. If the nurses catch you talking to yourself you're gonna end up in a room right next to Momma Spencer. And wouldn't that just be heartbreaking?_

Lulu really hated her conscience.

* * *

"What's she doing?" Johnny asked Clive.

"Talking to her mother?" Clive answered.

Johnny clenched his jaw. "You sound like you're asking."

"Well, I suppose that's what she's doing, but she asked me to not go in with her. Mrs. Z wanted some privacy-"

"_She's by herself_?" Johnny asked, ready to explode.

Did he not make himself clear? He specifically said that Lulu was to be guarded at all times. He even recalled saying that no matter what her objections where they were supposed to be with her. That was the only way he could guarantee her safety until they got this all straightened out. And afterwards, Lulu could go back to being the strong, independent woman that she was.

"Get your ass in there, Clive!"

Satisfaction coursed through his veins as he heard the door slam shut before he even finished his sentence. _Relief_ flooded him as he heard Lulu's voice in the background.

"She's fine, Mr. Zacchara."

"Let me talk to her," Johnny demanded.

A few moments later and Lulu snapped into the phone, "Why are you freaking out? I think I can go visit my mother in Shadybrook and not have anything happen to me."

"I know," Johnny breathed. "I'm just a little on edge."

"I would imagine so. When are you getting out? Do you need me to come get you?"

"Baby, I'm already out."

"Really?"

Johnny smiled at the excitement in her voice.

"Really. I'm on my way home right now. You don't have any other stops to make, do you?"

"Nope."

"Good. So I'll see you in about fifteen-"

He was swiftly cut off by a loud crash. He could faintly hear Lulu yelling for Clive and then just her screams filled Johnny's ears.

"Lulu?" Johnny asked. "Lulu?"

Footsteps rang throughout the dead silence on the other end and then all Johnny received was the dial tone.


	14. Silly Sophia

_A/N: So I told a tiny fib. Not everything has been answered. I had planned on it, but the chapter just flat out refused to write itself like that. And LMFAO you guys. I'm not going to kill Lulu. So stop worrying. ; Without further ado here is the highly demanded and apparently stalk- worthy chapter. As always, I hope it doesn't disappoint.

* * *

_

**Chapter Fourteen  
**Silly Sophia

* * *

Johnny was frantic. 

He had never felt like this before- his heart in his throat, his palms sweaty, and his eyes wild. He had thought the night that Lulu had been shot had been the time where he had experienced pure terror, but he was wrong.

Oh so very wrong.

Not knowing where Lulu was. Not knowing if she was alright- if she was hurt or scared. That was _terror_.

Jogging his way out of Shadybrook and back to his car, he figured his best bet was Spinelli. That guy could hack into _anything_- why not a mental institution's security cameras?

Peeling out into traffic, Johnny's phone vibrated in his pant pocket.

_God, please be Lulu_, he silently prayed.

"Hello?"

"No one told me I was sighing on for the night shift."

"Look, pops," Johnny said, punching a red light. "I've got bigger problems than you're night life."

"Have you spoken to Lulu? I called her a couple of minutes ago and she didn't pick up."

"Yeah, I've spoken to her."

"And? Look, kid, I'm not a mind reader-"

Out of the corner of his eye he took another look at the wilting rose seated beside him.

"She's gone. That crazy bitch has her."

"Carly?"

"No. A different kind of crazy bitch."

"Oh."

"Is Nathan alright?"

"Yep, little guy is fast asleep on the couch."

"The couch?" Johnny asked.

"Yes, the couch."

"Bad dream?"

"Nope. Just wanted some male bonding time."

"Oh, I'm sure."

A silence fell between them and Johnny was surprised Luke wasn't asking more questions about Lulu. It hadn't taken Johnny long to notice that the elder man wasn't the most involved father, but he was most definitely a protective one.

"I've got faith in you, kid," Luke spoke into the phone. "I don't know how you'll do it, but I know you'll bring her home- safe. You always do."

"Aw, pops. All this faith you have in me just might make me tear up."

He almost laughed as he was greeted with the dial tone.

* * *

"Are you in yet?" Johnny growled. 

He had only been here for twenty minutes, but wasn't he supposed to be like the Assassin of the Internet? Lulu had a lot of faith in the guy and that was enough for him, but twenty more minutes and Johnny would scream.

"Patience," Spinelli mumbled. "Patience."

"Are you wasting my time, Spinelli?"

"Ah!" Spinelli cried. Relief washed over Johnny as a smile spread across his sort of sidekick's face. "Here we go. Security cameras from Shadybrook are all yours, my friend."

Johnny nudged Spinelli to the side and planted his eyes on the monitor. He saw Clive talking on his cell phone and then he saw Lulu emerge from the front doors of Shadybrook.

He watched as she grabbed the phone and started in on him. Johnny gripped the edge of the desk until his knuckles turned white as her voice floated into his ears.

"_Why are you freaking out? I think I can go visit my mother in Shadybrook and not have anything happen to me." _

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. _Wrong_.

* * *

It was cold. And wet. And it was unbearably stuffy. Her head hurt. A lot. She felt like someone smashed her head against a wall or at the very least ran her over with a semi. She shifted her leg and winced as her foot connected with a wall. 

_Where was she?_

Lulu looked around her and found that her holding place was scarce. Besides herself there was a desk and a door and well- the walls. She obviously wasn't meant to stay long. Lulu couldn't decide if that was good or bad.

"Splendid. I was worried I had hit you to hard."

Lulu whipped her head around and found a woman grinning like the cat that swallowed the canary. She had long, curly dark hair, bright blue eyes and at least twenty years on Lulu.

"Who the hell are you?" Lulu bit out.

"Me?" The woman asked, placing a hand over her chest. She looked over her shoulder, confused. "Oh, yes. _Me_. Don't worry your pretty little blonde head over it."

The dark haired woman pulled out a chair from underneath the desk and took a seat, never taking her eyes off of Lulu.

"What do you want?"

"Oh, Lesley Lu. I want so many things, but I'm afraid you can only help me with a couple. Have you ever talked with the great Anthony Zacchara? Well, without him trying to kill you, that is."

Lulu didn't answer.

"I'll take that as a 'no'. Anthony was the greatest man I ever knew. So _strong _and _beautiful_. So powerful-"

"And _crazy_?"

The woman narrowed her eyes and glared.

"Don't talk about things you don't understand," she hissed.

"I understand that Anthony Zacchara is a whack job. And you're just as crazy," Lulu spat.

The woman sighed and rolled her eyes. "Such bitterness."

"Who are you?" Lulu asked again with more conviction laced in her voice. "What the hell do you want?"

"My name," she said, pointing a bony finger at herself. "Is Sophia Zacchara and what I want is you and your little brat dead and buried."

Lulu's grip tightened on her pant leg and debated as to either spit on _Sophia _orclaw her eyes out.

Johnny had never talked of a Sophia before. A Claudia and a Maria- yes, but never a Sophia. She briefly wondered if there was something her husband hadn't filled her in on.

"Touch my son and I _swear_ I won't hesitate to _kill_ you."

"I highly doubt you're in any position to be making threats," a smiling Sophia said. She slowly crossed her legs and leaned forward, not letting her smile falter in the least. "Don't worry. I haven't touched sweet, little Nathan. He can sleep in his own warm bed tonight with Grandpa Luke keeping a watchful eye. Seriously, what's with all the L's? Luke, Laura, Lucky, Lulu . . ."

"What did I do to you?" Lulu asked.

"Do?"

"Yeah. The reason you're in my face annoying the hell out of me."

"You can't do anything to _me_ you pathetic little girl." Sophia shot Lulu a glare and leaned back in her chair.

"Then you banged the hell out of my head and kidnapped me why?"

"You have something that just doesn't belong to you."

"And what is that?"

"The Zacchara name."

"You seem to have it as well," Lulu said, pushing herself up off the floor. "We can't share?"

Sophia gave a bitter laugh.

"As if I'd share anything with the likes of you or want anything from you. No, you took something-"

"Took something?" Lulu asked. This Sophia "whoever-she-was" was really starting to piss her off. She was purposely talking in riddles to keep her attention for some big announcement that she no doubt thought would knock Lulu on her ass. "I didn't take anything. I was given that name."

"It wasn't something for Johnny to give."

"You're serious. This is all because my last name is Zacchara."

Sophia tilted her head to the left and scrunched up her face.

"No," she said. "It's not. It's more about you getting what she never could."

"Who?"

Sophia's eyes glazed over. Her lips parted and she seemed to be in her own world.

Lulu realized this was more than likely going to be her only chance to make a run for it. Screw her ankle that was screaming in pain- she had bigger things to worry about.

"I never got to name her," Sophia whispered.

_Who?_

"Never got to name who?" Lulu asked, taking a tiny step forward. "You never got to name who, Sophia?"

"She was _so_ beautiful. She was so tiny and pink and perfect."

If this woman was going to try to claim she had a baby with Johnny, Lulu just might barf. And then slam Sophia's head through a wall.

"What happened to her?" Lulu asked. She was closer to the door and Sophia seemed to only get more and more lost in her own world.

"They took her from me. Said she wasn't safe, but she was safest with me. No one would have taken care of my little angel better than me. But what the hell do they know? They're just doctors. People who think they're better than everyone because they have fancy certificates and wear long, white coats thought that-"

Lulu flung open the door and tried her best to run. It was so quiet in the narrow hallway. She could hear the lights buzzing above her hurried footsteps and heavy breathing. Tears stung at the corner of her eyes, but Lulu blinked them away. She could deal with a little pain as long as she got far, far away from wherever the hell she was.

A stinging sensation that stung from her middle back and seemed to spread all over made her cry out in pain. A quick, blinding smack to her face delivered by the ground blurred her vision and only intensified her headache.

She felt someone tug at her legs and not so gently roll her over. Lulu blinked and could only watch as an unfamiliar man grabbed onto her ankles and pulled her back down the hallway and back to the room. Rolling her head behind her she spotted Sophia who had her hands on her waist, gripping what looked to be a taser and a grin on her face.

"You're so silly, Lesley Lu. Oh so _silly_. You can't leave until Johnny gets here."

All Lulu could do was groan in response as her head lolled to the side and the bright lights that hung above her slowly faded into nothing.


	15. Be My Memory

_A/N: As you read keep in mind that not everything is as it seems . . .

* * *

_

**Chapter Fifteen  
**Be My Memory

* * *

"Do you recognize her?" Spinelli asked, referring to a dark haired woman orchestrating Lulu's kidnapping on the computer screen. 

Johnny nodded. "Yeah. I met her once, briefly. A _long_ time ago."

"_Hi there Johnny."_

_A younger, smaller Johnny Zacchara curiously turned to face the female voice that he was positive wasn't his mother's or his sister's._

"_Hi," Johnny replied, looking up. _

_The woman smiled and took a seat next to him. She placed one hand on the top of his head and ruffled his hair._

"_You're so handsome," she told him, smiling._

_Johnny quickly decided he didn't like the pretty, older woman. She had a look in her eye that his dad got a lot when he was angry, but then he remembered his mom was always telling him to be polite and to mind his manners._

"_Thank you."_

"_You are very welcome."_

_He didn't like her smile either. It made the hairs on the back of his neck stick up and he didn't like that feeling at all. _

"_They never told you about me, did they?" She asked, resting her hand on his shoulder._

"_No."_

"_Well, my name is Sophia and your dad and I-"_

"_Sophia!" _

_Johnny jumped and with wide eyes watched as Trevor marched over and yanked Sophia away from him by her arm. She cried out and pushed against him._

_Johnny didn't like Trevor either, but he was happy he got that weird lady away from him. Did he really have to be so mean to her though?_

_Johnny tried to listen really hard as Trevor used that scary, threatening tone on Sophia._

"_What are you doing here?"_

"_Well, I wanted to come and see the child that's worth Anthony's time-"_

"_I warned you, Sophia. You're lucky Anthony didn't catch you in here with Johnny. You'd find yourself in a bigger pot of problems if he had."_

"_Anthony owes me," Sophia hissed._

"_He owes you nothing!" Trevor whispered roughly, gripping her arm tighter. _

_Sophia only glared harder._

"_He owes me everything. Including a baby girl with-"_

_Johnny jumped again as a hand clasped his. _

"_Come on John," his big sister whispered. She tugged on his arm and they headed towards the door. Johnny noticed she was frowning._

"_Oh!" Sophia cried out. "Claudia! Claudia! Come here darling!"_

_Claudia stopped and grasped Johnny's hand tighter._

"_Ow! Claudia!" Johnny said, pushing at her hand. But he stopped as he looked up and saw her face. She looked scared. He didn't like it any more than he liked that lady._

"_Claudia," Trevor said sternly. "Take your brother upstairs and look after him. Will you?"_

_Claudia shuffled her little red shoes and nodded. _

"_No, no, no," Sophia chanted. "Come back Claudia! Come back!"_

_Johnny had to run to keep up with his sister's fast pace. _

"Did she seem demented at all to you?" Spinelli asked, interrupting the not so pleasant memory.

Johnny laughed and shook his head.

"I didn't like her much, but no. She didn't seem like a crazed murder."

Was she Claudia's mother?

Johnny wasn't sure.

Was she a crazy, burned ex-lover of his father's?

More than likely.

But what did any of that have to do with Lulu?

Nothing, she was just crazy and was out to make everyone hurt as much as she was.

Johnny was going to make damn sure that Lulu and Nate weren't going to pay the price for something his father did or possibly didn't do.

"We should tell Stone Cold," Spinelli insisted.

"How many times do I have to tell you?" Johnny asked, impatiently. "No."

Spinelli was irritating him more and more by the minute. He knew the guy meant well and only wanted Lulu safe, but Morgan would just make things more stressful.

Sophia had nothing to do with Sonny or Jason, but she had _everything_ to do with the Zaccharas.

"I know you're just trying to help, Spinelli," Johnny said, loading his gun. "But Sophia is my problem."

"Are you sure you don't need any backup?" Spinelli asked hopefully.

The taller man shook his head. "Just finish tracking her down. Call me when you're finished."

Spinelli reluctantly nodded and took another chug of his orange soda.

Johnny never would have pegged the guy as a computer genius. A computer geek? Sure. Computer genius? Not one of the first few things that came to mind when you saw his beanie, barbeque chips and orange soda. It was the _last_ thing that came to mind as soon as he opened his mouth.

_But,_ he had gotten Lulu home safe and sound once before and Johnny was confident Spinelli could do it again.

* * *

Johnny pulled smoothly into his driveway and wasn't at all surprised to find Luke waiting for him at the front door. 

"What'dya find?" Luke questioned.

"I know who has her, but I'm not exactly sure why or where. How's Nate?"

"Smiling in the sleep usually indicates good, right?"

Johnny pushed past his father-in-law and entered his home. Taking one look at the grandfather clock he nodded.

"He'll be up soon. It's why I came home."

Luke smiled. "And you had me thinking you were here to relieve me of my painful baby-sitting duties?"

"Baby-sitting?" Johnny asked, smirking. "Is that what you were doing?"

"An adaptation of it, yeah. I still get paid, don't I? I hear twenty dollars an hour is the going rate."

Johnny laughed and he knew it sounded half-hearted, even to his ears.

"I'll take Nate to Carly's when he wakes up. You can go on home and assure Tracy you didn't skip town on her."

Luke shook his head and non-chalantly waved his hand through the air.

"Spanky won't mind if I spend another day watching over the kid. Besides, between you and me, I don't want to expose my grandson to that niece of mine."

"Give her some time and she can grow on you, Luke."

"I'd rather I _didn't_ have a Carly growing on me."

"Mr. Zacchara?" A guard called. "There's a Sophia on the phone for you."

Johnny clenched his jaw and nodded.

"I'll take it in my office."

"Oh, kid," Luke called, grabbing him by the shoulder. "Senior Baldwin came sniffing around last night. If you think he's going to let this whole murdered guy found in your office go, think again. Baldwin's poison. I suggest you get your fancy, high-priced lawyers on it and make it _disappear_."

Johnny nodded.

"Thanks for looking out for me, Pops."

He really didn't need this crap from the PCPD. He had bigger thorns to deal with.

Johnny stopped in his tracks on his way to his office and took a long look at a picture sitting on the shelf.

It was of a tired Lulu, a proud Johnny and a baby Nate.

"_Come here," She whispered. Johnny stood in the doorway unsure if he should listen or not. Lulu raised an eyebrow. "Don't make me beg."_

_He knew she was going to whip out that 'Spencer Pout' so he quickly decided to keep his eyes trained on his newborn son. Well, the top of his head anyways._

_Son. _

_That sounded foreign to him. He'd said it loads of times in his life- _

"_I'm Anthony Zacchara's son."_

"_Sonny Corinthos has two sons."_

"_I'm going to have a son."_

_But they never meant as much as they did in this moment. _

_He had a son. _

_Johnny Zacchara was a dad. _

_Somebody's father. _

_That was something he had never allowed himself to picture. He refused to subject anyone, let alone a child, to his life. _

_Then along came Lulu. She had changed everything from his first initial thought of her to how he made decisions in every single aspect in his life. If he had known what Port Charles held in its tiny town he would have came a lot sooner._

_Taking another step closer, Johnny guessed he couldn't complain with timing. Here he was in a hospital room with his wife and son. Things couldn't get any better than that. _

"_Do you want to hold him?" Lulu asked, smiling up at him._

"_You look tired," he whispered back._

"_Of course I'm tired," she laughed. "You give birth to the next one and then we'll compare notes on the after effects."_

"_Are you feeling okay?" Johnny asked, not attempting to hide the worry in his voice._

_Lulu giggled._

"_I'm fine, but your son wants to know what the hold up is."_

_Johnny smiled and ran a finger down the side of his son's small cheek. _

"_Remember," Lulu said. "Support his itty bitty head and his butt. He is not under any circumstances a football." She gently and slowly placed him into Johnny's arms. He bent down more towards the bed, just in case he dropped him. Lulu leaned down and kissed the baby's forehead. He could almost feel her pride and joy radiating off of her. _

_The baby shook his fist and Johnny almost passed out at how little his fingers were. He had long eyelashes that curled and rested on his cheeks and a little button nose that reminded him of Lulu. He had sort of a dark blonde hair color going for him and pudgy cheeks that Johnny couldn't seem to get enough of._

"_Careful there, Johnny," his wife said with a teasing tone. "Your face just might break if you smile anymore."_

"_Shuddup," he muttered._

_Lulu laughed and the baby stirred in his arms at the sound. _

"_Nathan," Johnny announced, taking a seat next to Lulu. _

"_What?" Lulu asked._

"_We had a list of our top five names and Nathan was on there, right?"_

"_Yep."_

"_Nathan. Let's name him Nathan."_

_Lulu pressed a kiss against his shoulder and he felt her smile against it._

"_Nathan it is."_

"_What about a middle name?" Johnny asked._

"_Spinelli!" Lulu offered._

"_Hell no."_

"_Language," she warned, swatting at his arm. "Seriously, though, I was thinking of Lorenzo. After my dad and Lucky. If you don't mind."_

_Johnny nodded._

"_Not at all. Nathan Lorenzo Zacchara. I like it."_

"_I love it."_

"_I love you," Johnny whispered, looking into her eyes._

"_I love you too."_

"Mr. Zacchara?"

Johnny shook his head and forced himself out of the fond memory.

Walking swiftly into his office he made it to his desk in four strides and yanked the phone off the desk.

"Lulu had better not have one god damn hair out of place," he ordered menacingly.

A shrieking cackle filled Johnny's ears.

"If we had been having this conversation, oh say three hours ago," Sophia said wickedly. "I could promise that. However, your girl tried to make a run for it."

Johnny's eyelids slid shut and he had to force himself to breath.

"_Lulu has my finely tuned survival skills."_

Luke was more than right about that which was why Johnny wasn't surprised at all that Lulu tried to get away. She was brave and was quick on her feet. Lulu wasn't some hostage that would sit back and let someone save her. She'd save herself.

"Don't get huffy puffy about it. I only tasered her. And the gash on her forehead . . . Well, that's technically not my fault. After I hit her she fell."

Sophia sounded more than giddy about that.

"And the ankle? Technically not my fault either. I hit her over the head at Shadybrook and she fell funny. I think she tripped over her bodyguard's body. I don't know. How is he doing by the way?"

"He's gonna live," Johnny told her. "I'm sure you're ecstatic about that."

"I can barely contain my joy," she said dryly. "Now, be a good little boy and come back to where it all started."

"The Zacchara Mansion?"

"Yeppers. Wanna come save the day?"

"I want to talk to Lulu."

Sophia sucked in a long breath and he knew she was having way too much fun with this.

"No can do, Johnny boy. Little Lulu is taking a nap. I guess you're just going to have to show some good faith. Be here in an hour. And Johnny?"

"Yes?"

"Don't be late."


	16. Enemy Number One

_A/N: It's a filler, folks. But there's Johnny/Nate time and JoLu fluff. That's got to count for something, right? The big showdown is next chapter and I'm pretty sure that's a cliffhanger. So get ready. _

_And I just wanted to say that all your positive feedback is amazing. It's what makes me get on MicrosoftWord and type up these chapters. It's pretty much the only reason we've gotten to Chapter Sixteen this soon. So I dedicate my little filler chapter to all that review and inspire me to continue. You're awesome!

* * *

_

**Chapter Sixteen  
**Enemy Number One

* * *

Johnny stood in the hallway outside of his son's room and stared at the door that hung the letters 'N', 'A', 'T', and 'E'. He loved that little boy more than anything else in the world and he idly wondered if Nate knew that. 

He probably didn't.

Kids never did.

Johnny slid down the wall and took a seat on the hardwood floor. He wasn't sure if he'd be coming home after today. He didn't know what Sophia had planned for him or Lulu. He didn't know if Lulu was even still alive. He didn't know _anything_ and that scared the hell out of him.

The sound of his father-in-law muttering to himself and the sound of bottles clinking together made him rethink that.

He knew that no matter what happened to him or Lulu their son would be safe. He had _thee_ Luke Spencer as a grandfather, a Prince for an uncle, a cop for an uncle, _Maxie Jones_ for a godmother, Carly Jacks for a cousin and pretty much anyone else in Port Charles who had ever met the little blonde boy looking out for him. There was no doubt in Johnny's mind that Nate was safe.

Johnny knew he had brought this onto himself. If he had just ignored the fear of losing Lulu, if he had gotten somewhere safer for Lulu to live none of this would have happened. She wouldn't have moved back in and Sophia wouldn't have grabbed her.

He broke the rules and now he was being punished.

Correction- his _family_ was being punished.

He heard the pitter-patter of little feet on the floor and smiled as he saw a little head poke out from behind the door he had been concentrating so hard on.

Nate smiled back and flung the door open. He jogged across the hall and threw his little arms around Johnny's neck.

"Where'd you go yesterday, daddy?" Nate asked.

_The slammer._

"Uncle Lucky and I had to talk," he told him, hugging him back.

Nathan pressed a kiss to the side of his dad's head. Johnny wondered if kids just had a sixth sense- if they could just tell when their parents were stressed or worried. Nate took a seat on Johnny's lap and laid his head against his chest.

"Did you have a nightmare, little man?"

"No," Nate whispered. "What's that thing on my roof with the holes?"

"The vent?" Johnny asked, unsure if that's what he was referring to.

"Grandpa Luke was saying bad words and I could hear it through the vent thing and it woke me up."

Johnny couldn't help but laugh. Luke probably ran out of alcohol, the poor guy.

Pressing a kiss to his little blonde head Johnny said, "Your birthday is next week."

"I know!" Nate said excitedly. "Mommy said we're going to have it at the Haunted Star. I already sent out all my invitations."

"Yeah?" Johnny asked giving off an impressed tone.

Nathan nodded.

"How many people are coming?"

"A lot. Aunt Maxie's really excited."

"I bet she is," Johnny said with a smirk.

She was probably _overjoyed_ at the prospect of single dad's coming to drop their kids off. Maxie was a maneater if he ever saw one.

"I'm hungry," Nate said.

"We'll have to get Grandpa Luke on that, won't we?"

Nate shook his head.

"I want mommy. I want her chocolate chip pancakes."

"Mommy's not here, Nate."

_Please don't ask why_.

"Where is she?" Nate asked. Those big brown eyes stared at him and Johnny suddenly found his throat constricting. He didn't like to lie to his son, but what was he supposed to say?

_Sorry, kid. Your mom's been kidnapped by someone who might or might not be your aunt's mother and oh yeah- your mom might be dead. So don't be counting on those chocolate chip pancakes anytime soon. _

He wasn't _that_ honest with his son. And the mere thought of no beautiful blonde dancing around the kitchen making breakfast made his throat close and dug scorching holes into his heart.

"She's helping Carly at the MetroCourt."

Johnny hoped it would always be this easy to lie to his son. Somehow, he didn't think so.

"Oh," was all Nathan said.

A silence fell between them and Johnny couldn't help but smile at the pajamas Nathan was wearing.

Monster trucks were printed all along the blue and white PJ's. Johnny remembered Lucky and Cameron had bought them. It was sometime after he and Lulu had split and Lucky had just wanted to do something _nice_.

At the time, it had pissed him off.

Just because Lulu and Nate weren't living with him didn't mean he wasn't going to provide for them. His son was going to have _clothes _and anything else he damn well wanted.

Johnny had calmed himself down and quickly realized he was just looking for a fight. He was looking for anything that would make him forget the way Lulu looked when he told her he didn't love her anymore and that he wanted her out of the house.

He knew she hadn't believed him, but he could still clearly see the anguish in her eyes as he said it.

It was hard to think back to the times when he hadn't known Lulu and hadn't loved her. She seemed so constant and _forever_.

"I love you, Nathan," Johnny said, pulling him closer.

"I love you too, daddy."

* * *

Lulu was comfortably laid back on the stone floor and picked up the foot that _wasn't_ screaming in pain and kicked it against the door. 

_And again._

_And again._

_And again._

She lost count after Kick 75, but if whoever was out there guarding her didn't care about all the noise she was making then why the hell should she?

Lulu groaned and kicked the door harder.

She really wanted to get out of here. Not just to wash the dried blood off her forehead and not just to kick Sophia's ass, but to sleep and not be afraid of getting 'taken care of' while she was doing so.

She wanted Johnny.

She wanted her son.

She wanted her big, fluffy, painstakingly comfortable bed.

"Knock knock!" A cheerful voice called from behind the door.

Lulu rolled her eyes and moved away from the door.

"Hello Lesley," Sophia said entering the room. She closed the door behind her and whipped around smiling. Lulu was only slightly jealous at the fresh, clean clothes Sophia donned.

Lulu was still in her lazy day jeans and a rumpled, dirty white peasant top.

"I'm sure you'll be pleased to know that Johnny will be here _very_ soon."

"I can't contain my joy," Lulu said dryly.

"Thirty-two minutes to be exact."

"Busting at the seams."

Sophia laughed.

"Oh, you're such a funny girl. It's kind of disappointing that I have to kill you, but you brought it on yourself."

Sophia gave a sigh and sat in her usual chair.

"Oh I know," Lulu sighed. "Stupid me marrying the father of my child. _Stupid, stupid_ me."

"So sarcastic. I'll remember to add that on your tombstone. 'Here lies Lesley Spencer. Sarcastic and sassy until the end."

"I wouldn't have it say anything else," Lulu said with a smile. "Ooh, change my mind. I'd have it say Zacchara instead of Spencer."

Sophia's eyes gave off a deadly glint, but Lulu didn't regret her words.

"I see why Anthony wanted you dead so badly."

"And you see where that got him."

"Nothing he didn't deserve."

Lulu cocked an eyebrow.

"Yesterday he walked on water and today he deserves to be paralyzed."

"I wouldn't expect you to understand me."

"Now would I want to understand a crazy?"

Sophia cocked her head to the side and gave Lulu a quizzical look.

"I've told you countless times I'm going to kill you and yet you make no bargain plea for your life. Such an odd girl you are Lesley Lu. _Such an odd girl_."

Lulu struggled to stand up as she watched Sophia make her way towards the door. The standing thing wasn't going over so well she decided as she hit the ground again.

She had to get out of this hell hole before Johnny got here. Not that she had any doubts of Johnny's capabilities on saving her, but if anything happened to him . . .

She wouldn't know how to _breathe_.

_Lulu sat at the kitchen counter and harshly slammed her elbow down onto the hard, tile surface. She ignored the pain shooting through her arm and continued to wrestle with the jar of peanut butter. She angrily blew a strand of hair that freed itself from her ponytail and continued on. _

_Lulu squeezed and pulled and twisted and the damn lid wouldn't budge. _

_Why did they make these things extremely difficult? It wasn't like she was trying to break into the White House and assassinate the President. She just wanted a damn peanut butter and jelly sandwich! _

_Lulu gave a strangled cry and slammed the jar onto the counter. _

"_Whoa there baby," Johnny cried from behind. She looked over her shoulder and saw his trademark smirk planted across his face. Lulu really didn't care that it was sexy as hell, she glared at it anyways. "Was the peanut butter giving you the stink eye again?" _

_Johnny rested his head on the top of her head and wrapped his arms around her._

"_It wouldn't open," Lulu muttered. _

"_Aww," Johnny said mockingly, placing a kiss on the top of her head. _

"_It's not funny, Johnny! I'm hungry!"_

"_PB&J?"_

"_Is there anything else that your demon spawn craves?" She spat. Lulu didn't care that the jar of peanut butter wasn't a person. She could still glare daggers and death at it. _

"_Our demon spawn, baby," he said in a sing-song voice._

_Johnny laughed and reached for Enemy Number One. Grabbing onto the lid he twisted once and the lid popped right off._

"_Oh yeah," Lulu said. "Easy for you and your stupid muscles. We know you got 'em. Why do you have to show 'em off all the time?"_

"_Because the ladies like it of course," Johnny told her, gently placing the jar back onto the counter. _

"_Ladies?" Lulu asked, raising an eyebrow as she turned in her seat to face him. "Who are these ladies you speak of? Do I have to have words with them?"_

"_Naw," Johnny said, placing a kiss on the hollow of her throat. "The ladies that I speak of would be you and our baby girl. I don't need any other ladies."_

"_Baby girl?" Lulu asked, smiling wide. "Are you pregnant Johnny?"_

"_I'm telling you, Lu," he placed his hand over her five month bump, "I can feel the girl radiating off of it."_

_Lulu pursed her lips together._

"_I think you're intercepting __**my**__ girlness."_

"_Don't put a damper on my dreams, okay?" _

"_Oh okay," Lulu humored him. _

And she had been right. It was a boy.

Lulu's smile slipped off her face as the door re-opened and Sophia stepped back in looking happier than before.

"Good news, Sunshine. Johnny's here."

Lulu wasn't sure if that was good or not.


	17. The Death of Me

**Chapter Seventeen  
**The Death of Me

* * *

Johnny quickly noted that there were no guards posted outside and wasn't surprised. He had gotten the distinct feeling that Sophia wanted this between the two of them. And Lulu. 

Sliding inside the place he used to call home he took a double take at all the dust that had gathered. He had always remembered this place so clean and refreshed. He also remembered feeling like a prisoner and hating life. 

Johnny stopped short of his investigating as his eyes fell upon Sophia. She held a sadistic looking smirk that reminded him slightly of his father. She turned swiftly on her heel, let her hair swish through the air and sauntered down the hallway. Johnny looked around, unsure if there was something going on that he wasn't clued in on. He drew his hand slowly up to his back and felt the comforting outline of his gun.

"Don't get trigger happy," Sophia called over her shoulder. "Wouldn't want this to end ugly."

Sophia made a sharp turn into what used to be his father's office. Johnny made sure he was right behind her. She quickly took a spot by the window and he couldn't help but look around for Lulu. She was nowhere in sight and Johnny didn't have _one_ clue as to where she would be. 

"Believe it or not," Sophia spoke softly. "I never wanted to hurt you. I suppose I wanted revenge- for my daughter. She never asked for it, but then again, she didn't have to." Sophia turned around to face Johnny and smiled. "You're a parent. Wouldn't you do anything for your child?"

She brushed her long, black hair away from her eyes and picked up a picture frame that he knew contained himself and his mother. 

"He loved her," she told him. "Your father loved your mother more than anything."

"Yeah," Johnny agreed. "So much so that it drove him insane."

Sophia nodded and set the picture down.

"I suppose it did. Even I was a little shocked to hear that Anthony tried to kill you. Must have been pretty scary having your dad point a gun at you."

Johnny stayed silently and watched her carefully. 

"I was nineteen when I met your father. I don't even think I knew his favorite color before we got married. Although I'm positive he only married me because of the baby. I was a dirty secret before that.

"I carried that little girl for nine months. I gave birth to her. I was the first one to hold her and then all in the same second I'm divorced and declared 'unfit'. I'm too crazy. I'm criminally insane! Anthony did everything he could and more to take my child away."

"I don't know where you got your facts, but Claudia isn't your daughter."

Sophia clenched her jaw and hastily whipped papers off of his father's desk. 

"Do you know what these are you little brat?" She hissed, throwing the papers at him. "These prove that Claudia is mine!"

Johnny ignored her rambling and searched for the names that could either confirm Sophia was just as crazy as his dad or confirm that she held some truth to her words. 

Father: Anthony Zacchara. 

Mother: Sophia Zacchara. 

Johnny didn't know how real these documents were, but he did remember that day when Sophia had approached him and the look in Claudia's eye. He did remember a time before Claudia left . . .

"_Claudia?" Johnny asked from his seat on the counter._

"_John?" Claudia asked back as she cut her apple in half._

"_Why do you call mommy Maria?" _

_Claudia smiled._

"_Because she's not my mommy."_

_Johnny scrunched his face in confusion and looked at his big sister curiously. "Who's your mommy then?" _

_Claudia looked up from her chopped up apple and set her eyes on Johnny's swinging legs. _

"_I don't know, John. I never met her."_

It would add up he supposed, but maybe it was all a coincidence. 

"My actions and rash decisions may seem crazy, but I know _exactly_ what has happened to me. And I know _exactly _who needs to pay."

"And that's Lulu?" Johnny asked, dismayed. 

"Well technically it'd be Anthony. And since he's already in his own self-made hell I don't see the point. And then it should be you- but my daughter loved you so I feel as though I'd be spitting on her memory if I killed you. And well _damn_! Lulu's the next best thing."

"Why are you talking about Claudia like she's dead?"

Sophia gave him a quizzical look which felt odd. If anyone was confusing as hell it was her.

"Because she is."

Johnny let out a laugh and rubbed the side of his face annoyed. 

"So basically," he started, moving closer to the older woman. "This whole revenge deal of yours is for nothing because my sister, _your daughter_, is anything but dead."

With wide eyes Sophia shook her head but stood her ground as Johnny inched closer.

"You're lying," she told him. "You're a _liar_."

"Oh, but I'm not." 

"Trevor told me all about the accident," Sophia said spitting hate at him.

Johnny's grin only grew. _Good old Trevor. _

"That was your mistake."

"No! There were newspaper articles and a funeral! I went to her funeral! And I even came _here_ looking for her because God knows Trevor lies for fun and she was gone! _Gone_!" 

He watched as her eyes that were already filled with resentment and anger water with tears and her pale skin grow paler. If he didn't hate this woman with _every fiber_ in his being he'd probably feel sorry for her. 

"Sorry Soph. Claudia is very much alive and it's too bad you're not going to be able to say the same."

Something that Johnny couldn't quite name, something that had passed over his father's eyes many times clouded Sophia's eyes and seemed to grab a hold of her. She cocked her head to the side and reached out to smooth his black shirt down. She smirked slightly and it almost blew him away of how much it reminded him of Claudia's smirk. How could he not see the resemblance?

"It's too bad your wife won't be able to say the same either."

"Sorry to rain all over your psychotic plans but Lulu's not going to be the one dying tonight."

There was the smirk that _again_ was so _Claudiaesque_.

"We'll see."

* * *

Lulu wasn't sure where the smell was coming from. It was either the room or her. She really, really, _really_ hoped it was the latter. She hastily pushed herself up off the ground with her good leg gave the door a swift kick. 

_Ow_.

_But that's usually what happens when you kick solid things, Lesley Lu. _

She had to get out of this place before she went crazy. She wasn't sure why- maybe to emphasize how bad she wanted to get out or if it was just a reaction to the thought but she reached for the door handle. 

Lulu almost passed out as it turned and allowed the door to open. With her new found freedom she wasn't quite sure what to do. 

_Was it a trap?_

She doubted it. They already _had_ her trapped. 

_Was it left unlocked by accident?_

She doubted that also. Sophia may be one crazy chick but she wasn't stupid. 

_Was it left unlocked on purpose?_

That seemed to be the most reasonable one, but why? What were they planning?

Lulu shoved all of her racing thoughts down and flung the door wide open. She poked her head out and was greeted to an empty corridor. Lulu moved out of the room and began to limp her way down the hallway. 

"A nice big 'Exit' sign would be nice, thanks," Lulu muttered to herself sarcastically. Lulu was actually surprised at how quickly she found a staircase. The hallway seemed to go on forever and here was the exit? She took a glance up the stairs and the door that had been conveniently left open and then glanced back to the never ending hallway. 

"Why the hell not?"

Climbing stairs seemed to be ten times harder with practically one leg, but Lulu pushed past the pain with a wince here and there. 

Lulu instantly recognized her surroundings the moment she made it to the top of the stairs. She had only been here a handful of times. Mostly, because Johnny had always arranged to meet up somewhere else. Whatever place she had called home at the time, Kelly's, the Overlook and the MetroCourt had been their getaway place. He had never volunteered this place. _Ever_. As the chills raced up her spine she clearly remembered why. 

Five seconds in just _one _room and she already felt sick, but maybe that was just the head wound. It didn't even matter anymore. She just wanted to get _out_. 

Familiar voices sidetracked her quest and Lulu strained to hear them better. She could make out Sophia's and the other one was definitely male. It definitely wasn't that goon of Sophia's. No-

_Johnny_. 

How in the world was she supposed to get his attention and not get _both_ or _either_ of them killed? Lulu frantically searched around not sure what she was looking for exactly- _she wasn't sure of anything_! Lulu blamed it on the gash in her head. 

"It's so nice of Lesley to join us!" Sophia's voice rang out. Lulu's head snapped up and she looked in the direction of the voice, but saw no one. Lulu's heart was pounding, her ears waiting for something to happen. This was all so adrenaline inducing she knew someone was going to say hi to someone's guy by the time the night (or was it day?) was through. 

A breath of relief escaped Lulu as she saw Johnny appear in the hallway unhurt and relatively okay. He walked faster than she'd ever seen and as soon as he reached her he pulled her quickly to him. 

"Are you alright?" He whispered into the side of her neck. Lulu breathed in the scent of him and hoped he wasn't doing the same. God only knew what she smelt like.

"I've been better," she told him. A tiny butterfly fluttered in her tummy as he placed a kiss to the spot he had whispered on. 

"I'm gonna get you out of here," he said, pulling back and cupping her face in his hands. Lulu fought the urge to lean into him as he brushed the pad of his thumb across her bottom lip. "I promise."

"I know and you're coming with me." 

Another butterfly fluttered as he smiled. Lulu didn't think she had ever told him just how much she loved that smile. 

"I can't promise that."

"Well your damn well going to try." Johnny nodded and gave a worried glance at the bloody wound on her head. 

"Well isn't this sweet?" Sophia cut in. Johnny turned around and placed Lulu directly behind him. If she wasn't so afraid of what was about to happen she would have rolled her eyes. 

"Now Johnny. I said I didn't want to kill you. I never said I _couldn't_ or _wouldn't_."

Lulu tightened her grip on his forearm and gave him a push to the side. When he didn't move she took a step to the side and stepped forward.

Sophia's eyes instantly flickered to Lulu.

"Aww, so brave. If it wasn't so vomit worthy it'd be cute."

"My deepest apologies," Lulu said sarcastically. Sophia gave a lopsided smirk and she could tell Johnny was caught off guard just as much as she was as the woman standing before them pulled a gun, pointed it at Lulu and fired. 

She grasped onto Johnny's shoulders as he fell against her and pushed her against the wall, smacking the back of her head against it. She could feel the blood soaking through her shirt and she bit back a scream at the quick realization it wasn't hers. 

"Johnny?" She asked hoarsely. "Johnny?"

"Well," Sophia said coming to stand in front of the two. "That wasn't what I expected. Good thing I have more than one bullet, huh?"

Lulu thought she could hear a 'no' pass Johnny's lips, but she _knew_ she felt his hand find hers and squeeze. 

So _this_ was _it?_ _This_ was _death?_ Lulu surely didn't welcome it, but she couldn't exactly slam the door on it either. 

It was hazy, but Lulu could hear the loud gunshot ring out in the dead hallway. And she watched, stunned, as Sophia dropped her gun and fell to the floor like a rag doll. Lulu looked up from what she hoped to be a dead woman to see her sister-in-law. 

Claudia shook her head vehemently as she looked upon the scene laid before her.

"You're always getting my brother into things he can barely get out of, aren't you?"

* * *

_A/N: 19 days? I've been away for 19 days? Man, I hope you guys didn't have to go back & reread Chapter 16. I'd feel bad. I hope this hiatus thing doesn't happen again, but with school trying to murder me I can't make any promises. _

_So Sophia's crazy and her reasons probably don't seem clear- which is mostly because they're just not, but we get Claudia's take on it next chapter. And I know. Harsh! She killed her own mom. _

_Thanks for sticking with me for NINETEEN DAYS. It means a lot and you're pretty much the only reason I cranked this puppy out tonight. I was going to put it off tomorrow but- NINETEEN DAYS! LOL. But really, I'm not to sure about this chapter. Maybe I'll revise it some more tomorrow. In the meantime let me know what you think! _


	18. Heartbeat

A/N: Uh, who else is really surprised at how fast I came out with this puppy? Me! Anyways, I'm sad to say we've only got three more chapters & then an epilogue. It'll be my first completed fic ever. And just wanted to say this is the longest chapter ever. NINE PAGES! About 2,850 words. Well, hope it's enjoyed and as always, let me know your thoughts!

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen  
**Heartbeat

* * *

"Shit," Johnny cursed to himself quietly. He didn't need to open his eyes to know he was in a hospital. The uncomfortable slab of a 'bed' and the annoying, constant beep of his heartbeat told him that.

"Johnny?"

Johnny gave a slight jump at the voice. He had expected a female voice, but it wasn't the one he had expected.

"Claudia?" Johnny croaked. "Where's Lulu?"

"Thank God," he heard her sigh. He slowly cracked one eye open to see her standing at the side of his bed looking down at him worriedly. "How do you feel? They have some damn incompetent nurses working her. They had this one broad trying to do the whole IV thing and she had to stick you **FIVE** times before she got it right. They should just send her home with the first five seasons of _ER_. Maybe then she'll actually learn how to do her job. I mean,_ really_! How hard is it to start a damn IV?"

"Claudia."

"What?" She shouted.

"Shut up."

Claudia arched an eyebrow.

"Excuse me?"

"You're giving me a headache."

"I saved your ass, little brother. Can I get a thank you?"

"Thank you," Johnny said with as much sincerity he could muster. "What happened?"

Claudia crossed her arms over her chest and took a seat on the side of his hospital bed.

"What's the last thing you remember?" She inquired.

"Getting shot."

"Yeah," Claudia mused. "How does that feel?"

Johnny placed a hand over left side of his chest where Sophia had shot him and pressed down.

"Itchy."

She smiled and reached out to brush her hand across his cheek.

"I had really good timing, if I do say so myself. Any later and you and blondie would be dead."

"Well it wasn't that great of timing. I got shot, didn't I?"

"That's your own damn fault and you know it. I didn't have to be there to know _exactly_ what went down. She was aiming for that girlfriend of yours-"

"_Wife_."

"No," Claudia said taken aback. "You divorced her."

"Nope," Johnny informed her all smiles. "I smelled my mother's roses just in the nick of time and put a stop to it. I'm a happily married man, thank you."

He lifted his left hand up to show her the gold band that surrounded his ring finger.

"Ridiculous," she muttered eyeing the ring.

"So what are you doing here?" He questioned. "How did you even find us?"

"My nephew's birthday is right around the corner and you bet your ass I'm going to be here for it. You know I wouldn't miss it for the world. Anyways, I showed up at your place and low and behold who answers the door but your daddy-in-law."

Johnny smirked. Luke and Claudia? He'd pay big bucks to see those two communicate.

"Did you two hit it off?"

Claudia laughed. "I'm pretty sure he hates me, but I can't say I like him very much either."

"Don't take it personally. Luke hates everyone from me to the bartender that cuts him off after his second drink. I seriously think Lulu's bribed just about every bartender in town to do that."

"How sweet of her. Anyways, after Senior Spencer and I had a few words he told me all about the little predicament you and his darling daughter got yourselves into. He pointed me in the right direction and well, you know the rest."

"And Sophia?" Johnny asked, tentatively.

"Dead," Claudia said coldly. "You won't have to worry about her anymore."

He shifted in his seat slightly and looked surveyed her carefully. Did she know who Sophia was?

"She said some things- some crazy things, actually."

"Like she's my mother?"

Johnny nodded numbly.

"Yeah she is. Well, _was_," Claudia said with a dark laugh.

_What?_

"You knew that and you still killed her?"

"I did what I had to, Johnny. To protect you and your wife and to ensure that little Nathan grew up with both of his parents. Are you going to condemn me for that?"

Johnny looked at his sister- _really_ looked at her. Took in every nook and cranny and wondered which one of the Zacchara siblings were worse off. No matter what his father did to him, Johnny didn't think he had it in him to kill the old man.

Yet, here stood Claudia the girl who sang him lullabies when he had nightmares announcing she had killed her own mother to protect him. Not that Sophia didn't deserve to die because she did, but just at someone else's hand.

"No, I just wasn't expecting it. That's all."

Claudia pursed her lips together and grabbed his hand, lacing her fingers through his.

"I'm not you, John. I never was and I never will be. I don't have that golden heart of yours that makes you so pure and kind."

"Pure?" He asked laughing. "That's a new one."

Claudia nudged him in the shoulder, but couldn't help but laugh with him.

"Listen to me," she pleaded. "Daddy killed Maria- your _mother_ right in front of you. He controlled you for years and pushed you around. He made you feel like a prisoner in your own home. He even tried to kill that _girl_ you love so much. And is he dead? No. He's not. And there's only one reason for that- because he's your father. He's a part of you and that tugs at your heartstrings, Johnny and you know it. You feel some sort of connection with him. It may not be the Brady Bunch kind of love but there's something there. I don't feel anything for him. And I didn't and I don't and I never will feel anything for my mother. There are two people in this world that I care about. And that's you and Nate. I'd do anything for you two."

"Including killing the woman who gave birth to you."

"Why are you making a big deal about it?" Claudia asked, leaping off the bed. "You're alive. Your wife is alive. And you two can hold hands and skip out of here and go on to have twenty more little Zacchara babies. Why is that not good enough?"

"I didn't say it wasn't!" Johnny said, raising his voice. "I'm just trying to understand you and what you did."

Claudia shook her head and tightened her coat around her frame.

"No! You want to analyze me like some damn therapist!"

"You killed your mother!"

"Why do you care?" She asked exasperated. "Why? Huh? _Why_?"

"I don't care that she's dead, I care about what it's going to do to you! Can you really walk this Earth 'till the end of your days knowing that you don't have a mom because you put a bullet in her head?"

_Damn_, his chest hurt like hell and he was sure that all the yelling and moving around wasn't doing it any good.

"Don't get all Sopranos on me, Johnny! I didn't put a bullet in her head. I shot her in the back, okay? It's not my fault that they couldn't save her."

"She loved you."

Claudia shook her hair out of her face and walked to the door.

"Shut up, John. Just shut up."

"Did you know that this whole thing she orchestrated was for you? She thought you were dead, Claudia."

"I know she did! Did you see me trying to correct that thought? No. You didn't."

"Why not?"

"Because!" She shouted throwing her hands in the air. "Because I already had one crazy parent and I didn't need another. I knew what daddy and Trevor were feeding her and it just seemed to be for the best. She was mentally unstable. She was depressed all through her pregnancy and the day she gave birth she just lost it. Convinced that the nurses and the doctors were conspiring against her and they were going to take me away. She just snapped, Johnny. Daddy took me away from her to protect me. And that just sent her more over the edge. There's no coming back from that."

Claudia smiled bitterly and reached her hand up to angrily wipe a lone tear away.

"The few times I had met her she scared the crap out of me. I had no idea if she was going to strangle me or hug me. Right before they sent me away, she got really attached to the idea of us being a family and she came around more often. Do you remember that time she came to the house?"

Johnny nodded remembering the vivid incident.

"Is that why they sent you away?"

"I don't know. It would make sense, but then again Trevors was involved it so you never know."

Johnny ran his left hand through his hair and leaned back against his pillows. This had to be the day from hell. No other could match it.

"I'm sorry."

Claudia gave him a sad smile.

"It's okay. I forgive you."

"I still don't understand, but I supposed that's what makes you Claudia Zacchara. You're just one big mystery."

"You wouldn't have me any other way."

* * *

"Sssh. You're going to wake her up!"

"Jesus Christ, if I want to wake my daughter up I will."

"Grandpa!"

"Sorry kid."

"Are you kidding me? He lives in a house with a mobster I'm sure 'Jesus Christ' is the nicest thing he's ever heard. I mean, can you imagine all the times Nate's overhead Johnny placing a hit?"

"What are you talking about, Aunt Maxie?"

"Yeah, Aunt Maxie," Lulu interrupted, placing a hand over her bandaged head. "What are you talking about?"

"Mommy!" Nate squealed. He jumped out of his chair on the other side of the room and sprinted over to her side.

"Watch it, Squirt!" Luke said, swiping him off the floor. "Mom's in the hospital, you know that. And you know what that means?"

"It means she's got to get better."

Luke nodded and Lulu couldn't help but smile. She may have not been gone that long, but she had really missed them both.

"I think I can spare some recovering time for some _love_ from my favorite guy in the _whole world_."

Nate grinned as Luke set him back on his feet. Lulu helped him up onto the bed next to her and wrapped her arms around him. She quickly pressed a kiss to the top of his head before stealing another hug. She closed her eyes, reveling in the moment. She had missed him _so much_. She had been so worried that she was never going to see him again.

_Thank God for badass sister-in-laws_, Lulu thought silently.

"Where's Johnny?" Lulu asked.

"Daddy's with Auntie Claudia," her son informed her. "He got hurt bad, mommy."

Lulu looked up between Luke and Maxie.

"Is he going to be okay?" she asked them.

"Don't worry," Maxie told her, sounding disappointed. "You're not going to be a widow anytime soon."

"But is he going to be okay?" She pushed.

"That's what I gathered, but it was kind of hard to hear with that sister of his screeching at this poor nurse. Sure, she was kind of stupid but I mean come on, she didn't need to be yelled at."

"Sounds like Claudia, alright," Lulu muttered.

Luke gave Maxie a look and she quickly clapped her hands together, gaining Nathan's attention.

"Come on, Nate. Let's go see if we can find some half decent cake in the cafeteria."

Nathan looked between the two blonde women, but didn't move from his place on the bed.

He looked up at her with his big, brown eyes and asked, "Are you going to be okay?"

It took a minute for the realization to fully hit her. Her son may only be four years old, but he was observant and smarter than most. He had to have noticed that she was gone and that his dad was worried and all out of sorts. Nate may not have known what exactly had gone down with his parents, but he knew enough to make himself nervous to even let her out of his sight.

Kids were a lot smarter than people gave them credit for.

"I'm gonna be just fine, baby boy," she whispered.

"Promise?" He asked, sticking out his pinky finger.

Lulu laughed and couldn't help it that tears sprung to her eyes. She wrapped her pinky finger around his and shook it.

"Promise."

"Cool," Nate exclaimed, grinning. He planted a kiss on his mom's cheek and jumped off the bed, reaching his hand out for Maxie. "Ready?"

"I was born ready, little dude."

"Little dude?" Lulu and Luke echoed.

"What? I hung out with Spinelli earlier, okay?" Maxie rolled her eyes and looked down at Nate. "You'd think they'd never heard the phrase 'little dude'."

"So gumdrop," Luke said. "How's that pretty little head of yours?"

"Throbbing," Lulu groaned.

"How 'bout that ankle?"

"I can't even feel it. Modern medicine is a beautiful thing."

"You had me worried for a little bit, Lesley Lu."

"Oh, dad. Like I'd go and die on you. Do you have any idea what kind of trouble you'd get into? Drunk and disorderly for one! Death for another."

"A little alcohol never killed anyone."

"It's tried to kill you."

Luke waved his hand in the air.

"This old heart can take it. Speaking of hearts, what do you say I sneak some burgers and fries in and clog up your arteries? Sound good?"

"Sounds like the best thing I've heard all week."

And it really was.

* * *

Lulu knew this probably wasn't the best idea, but she had to see him. If Epiphany or Elizabeth caught her she'd never hear the end of it. Lulu made a mental note to thank Nikolas for taking Nadine on vacation- it was one less person to catch her and lecture her about her health.

She leaned against the wall and used it to steady her as she limped her way down to Johnny's room. And it had better be his room too or otherwise all that sweet talking she had laid on the volunteer to get Johnny's room number would have been a waste of time.

Finally she reached the room and peered through the glass window. She gave a small sigh of relief as she saw him looking oddly out of place on the tiny hospital bed, flipping through TV channels.

She slowly turned the handle and poked her head into the room.

"Hey."

"Hey back," he said looking surprised to see her. He looked down at the remote and turned the TV off. "Should you be walking?"

Lulu smiled and shut the door behind her.

"Probably not, but when I have ever done what I've been told to do?"

"Never," he answered with a smile.

The damn butterflies were fluttering again.

"Sounds about right," she said with a laugh.

"Come here," Johnny whispered, reaching one arm out to her. That was probably the only arm he could move.

Lulu limped as fast as she could and Johnny scooted over in an effort to make room. Lifting herself onto the bed, she rested her head over his beating heart and cuddled as close as she possibly could.

"It's so good to hear that," she breathed.

"Hear what?"

"Your heart."

Johnny pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"Hmm. I'm pretty sure yours sounds exactly the same."

"Yeah, but it's different because this heart lets me know that you're okay."

"I'm a fighter, Lu."

Lulu nodded and couldn't believe she was starting to cry. He was okay. _They_ were okay. _Everything_ was okay.

"I know you are, but do you have any idea how scared I was that I was going to lose you?"

"Do you have any idea how scared _I_ was that _I _was going to lose _you_?" He challenged.

"I know, but you were- Johnny, you were bleeding and I didn't know if that was it. I didn't know if that was the end."

"I know," he agreed tenderly. "I remember what it feels like. I'll _always_ remember."

She felt his left hand come to smooth her hair down and attempt to soothe her worries, but she was caught off guard to feel jewelry touch her face. Lulu turned her head just enough to see glittering gold.

When did he put that back on?

She couldn't remember seeing it at the mansion and wouldn't the doctors have taken it off while he was in surgery?

What was she doing? This was Johnny Zacchara. Of course everything was a mystery, a pleasant mystery, but a mystery at that.

Lulu grasped his hand and placed a kiss to the inside of his palm before pulling his arm to drape over her waist. Johnny gave her a reassuring squeeze and whispered, "I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

"I'm holding you to that, husband."

"I wouldn't expect anything less, wife."


	19. Broken Cookies

**Chapter Nineteen  
**Broken Cookies

* * *

Five days.

Johnny had been in this hell hole for five whole days and he couldn't tell you what he had been doing for those five whole days. He couldn't remember if the damn sky was blue or if it was just a figment of his imagination.

Four days.

It had been four days since he had eaten _real_ food. Johnny wondered how much begging and ass kissing he would have to do for Maxie to bring him some In N Out. Claudia wouldn't do, that he knew for a fact and he was dying for a cheeseburger.

Three days.

It had been three days since he had a visitor besides Claudia and Johnny didn't know if he should count that as a blessing or an insult.

Two days.

Two _long, agonizing_ days since he had seen Lulu. He had dragged himself out of bed yesterday and made it to her room only to find it empty. The nurses assured him that she hadn't been released. She was just having more tests done. What else could they be running tests on? He wondered why she hadn't come to see him, but then he knew she probably had her hands full with half of Port Charles visiting her.

Johnny slipped his good arm through his jacket and paused as he thought of a way to get his injured arm in the other sleeve. He shook his head and shrugged off the offending material. He'd rather not risk busting his stitches open. Instead, Johnny clutched it in his hand and made his way out of the suffocating room.

"Is Blondie the only person who matters to you?"

"Well sorry that I don't bow down to the waste of space you call your brother."

"Say one more thing about my brother you little trollop and I swear-"

Johnny quickly turned on his heal and headed in the opposite direction of Maxie and Claudia's bickering voices. That was definitely _not_ the best route to Lulu's room.

"Daddy!" Nate yelled coming around the corner of Johnny's new founded route.

"Hey buddy! What are you doing out here all by yourself?"

"Waiting for mommy and Aunt Maxie to get ready. I wanna go home," Nate told him. He gave a tiny pout and then took a bite out of his half eaten chocolate chip cookie.

"Johnny?"

_Damn_.

"Nathan!" He heard Claudia squeal. It was an odd sound, hearing his older sister squeal. Kind of reminded me him of a pig actually.

Nate grinned up at her with crumbs on the side of his face as she swooped down and pulled him into a hug.

"How are you, my beautiful?" She asked him, smoothing his hair down. Nate took another bite out of his cookie. Johnny gave a loving smile as he realized the cookie was almost as big as his son's head.

It was one of those damn cookies out of the vending machine that cost about two dollars and that Lulu absolutely _loved_.

"_Johnny, my love," Lulu cooed, threading her fingers through his. _

_Johnny grimaced. He knew that smile. That was the _'Johnny, the baby's hungry'_ smile. _

"_Yes?"_

"_Would you be _amazing_ and go down to the cafeteria and grab your beloved wife a cookie?"_

"_Lulu! You're about to give birth to our baby and you want a cookie?" He honestly couldn't believe what he was hearing._

"_Not just any cookie," she told him. "The HUGE one with the M&Ms on top. You know, my favorite."_

"_Lulu," Johnny groaned. "Are you even supposed to be eating?"_

"_Why wouldn't I be?"_

"_I don't know, you're about to open up and a baby is gonna come out-"_

"_Open up? I'm going to open up? Did you seriously just say that?"_

"_I don't know how else to say it!"_

_Lulu closed her eyes and shook her head vigorously. _

"_Okay, well whatever- I'll forgive you if you go get me my cookie."_

"_Did the doctor say you could eat?" He questioned, leaning back in his chair. _

"_I don't know! Look, handsome," Johnny snorted, "the contractions have stopped. And I'm taking that as a sign."_

"_A sign?" He asked with a smirk. _

"_Yes, a sign from our son who desperately wants the M&M covered cookie. Would his father be so kind to oblige?"_

"_Okay, first of all, it's a girl-"_

"_Boy."_

"_Do you want a cookie or not?"_

"_Fine. You want me to give birth to a boy, girl, alien? Whatever you want. Just get me my cookie."_

_Sighing, he pushed himself out of his chair and headed towards the door before calling over his shoulder, "Relax, okay? You need to keep your blood pressure down."_

"_Do you know what would keep my blood pressure down? My cookie!!"_

She hadn't gotten her cookie. Well, not until after she had given birth to Nathan. A boy. Johnny remembered her teasing him mercilessly for days that she had been right and he had been wrong.

"Oh, sweetie," Claudia doted. "You've gotten so big since the last time I saw you."

"That was like what? Two days ago," Maxie snapped, coming to stand beside Johnny. Her arms were crossed across her chest defensively and she had her famous scowl plastered to her face.

"Hi Aunt Maxie!"

"Hi baby boy," Maxie waved. The change her tone was amazing. To go from pissed to loving in five seconds flat almost impressed Johnny.

"Nate sweetie," Claudia said. "You know she's not your real aunt, right?"

"Hey! I'm more of an aunt to Nate then-"

"Why don't you take Nathan and get him another cookie?" Johnny suggested to the angry blonde. Maxie glared at the older female, but nodded and pushed past Claudia, taking a hold of Nate's cookie free hands.

"What the hell was that?" Johnny snapped. He loved his sister, he really, really did, but sometimes he just wanted to strangle her.

"What?" She asked.

"That was completely uncalled for."

"You're kidding me, right?" She asked smoothing down her short, black dress.

"He's a little boy, Claudia. You're just going to confuse him."

"She's not his aunt, John. I don't know why you let Lulu lie to your son like that. He's going to learn the truth anyways."

Irritated, Johnny rubbed his forehead and tried to calm himself down.

"It's not lying, Claud. It's a loving nickname that Nathan himself bestowed on Maxie when he first started talking. You're acting like we're lying about his paternity or something."

"All I'm saying is that you're going to confuse the kid."

"My son wasn't confused about anything until you opened your mouth just then."

"Fine," Claudia snapped. "I'll keep my big mouth shut from now on."

"What are you so pissed about?"

"Why don't you go ask your wife?" Claudia snapped quickly brushing past him. More than likely to take her frustrations out on another nurse.

Johnny reached in his jacket pocket and rummaged around pulling out the pain pills his doctor had subscribed.

It was the only thing strong enough to cure a headache caused by Claudia.

--

Lulu gently picked up the fluffy little pig Maxie had bought her from the little gift shop in the hospital. She smiled and shook his little body before stuffing him in her duffel bag. She couldn't wait to get out of here. She _really_ missed her own bed.

Lulu took a few steps to the side table and plucked the get well card Cassandra and Nate had made her. She decided _not_ to pack that, hating for it to get crinkled and whatnot.

Lulu's thoughts quickly shifted to Johnny. She hadn't seen him in two days. It had been on purpose on her part, but she still missed him. She missed his smile, his presence and his voice-

"Knock, knock."

Lulu turned around still gripping the card and gave her husband a once over. He looked good- _healthy_ and _gorgeous_. Just the way she liked him.

"I was just thinking about you," she told him.

"When aren't you thinking about me?" Johnny joked.

Lulu sighed. It had been so long since she had seen him this happy. It had been so long since she had been happy.

"I actually wanted to talk to you."

"Are you okay?" He asked concerned.

"Healthy as an ox." He was so cute when we worried.

Johnny smiled. "Good."

"I wanted to talk about us."

"Yeah, I've wanted to talk about us as well-"

"Can I go first?" Lulu asked. She had to say it now or she'd never say it. She really wasn't as strong as everyone made her out to be.

"Sure."

Lulu took a seat back down on her hospital bed and patted the spot next to her. He sat next to her and Lulu found herself fighting not to reach out and touch him. She gave a long sigh before reaching up and tucking her long hair behind her ears. Anything to keep her hands busy.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. It's really all you can do cooped up in this place. I've mostly been thinking about you and me and Nathan. And- uh, where we stand." Lulu gave a sad laugh and shook her head.

"I'm just going to get right to it."

She was _not_ going to cry.

"I love you," Lulu told him. "I think I've loved you since that day at the Overlook when you kissed me. I don't know, but it's hard to remember a time when you didn't have my heart in the palm of your hand. And that's not easy for me- to just give myself over to another person. But I did for you because you wanted me to. And I don't regret it. I don't regret one, _single_ day with you- good or bad, because that's what I signed up for. I took our marriage seriously-"

"I did- I _do_!"

"I don't think you did."

Confusion and hurt lit up Johnny's face.

"You lied to me, Johnny. And the moment you said it I knew it was a lie, but that didn't stop it from ripping my heart open and it didn't stop me from crying myself to sleep. Johnny, you hurt me. More than Sophia ever could."

"What are you talking about?"

Lulu bit her lip and tried to recall the memory.

"I think it's time we both go our separate ways," she quoted him and that awful memory. "We jumped into this marriage without clearly thinking it through."

"Lulu-"

"No," she cut him off. "Just let me finish."

"I'm not saying that I don't want to be with you, because I do. I want nothing more then to be your wife and raise a family with you, but I just- I need more time to think. I'm so mixed up inside. I just need a day or two more to sort myself out."

"It sounds like you've already sorted yourself out," Johnny said quietly. "It sounds like you're saying goodbye."

"No, no, no, no!" Lulu scrambled. "Oh God, I'm no good with words. You know that."

"Yeah," he whispered.

Lulu reached for his hand and placed it between both of hers.

"I love you, Johnny Zacchara. I love everything about you, but this past month has been _crazy_. I find out that my shooting wasn't an accident. I was the target and the woman who tried to kill me is your sister's mother and she shot you and I-"

"I know. It's a lot to take in."

"It is," Lulu agreed, squeezing his hand. "Just give me a day, okay?"

"Come home with me," Johnny begged.

He sounded so broken.

"I'm serious. After this week I need you near me. You can sleep in Nate's room or a guest room or you can have my room and I'll sleep wherever- I just need you near me."

Lulu closed her eyes and wished she could just say 'no', but she knew she couldn't. She needed him just as much as he needed her.

"You won't even have to see me, Lulu. Maxie can stay and you guys can stay up all night talking. Whatever you need, Lulu. Just don't- don't leave me."

Lulu reached up and cupped the side of his face in her hand. Johnny closed his eyes at the feel of her soft skin and with a pang realized he was such an idiot. He should have just told her what was going on from the start, but he let his damn emotions get in the way. And now Lulu didn't think he loved her, but he did. It was the only thing that kept him sane. The only thing that kept him going.

"Okay," Lulu told him. "I'll stay, but I'm taking you up on the Maxie deal."

Johnny gave out a bark of laughter and grabbed her hand from his face, kissing the inside of her palm.

"Whatever you want."

"You're so-"

"Amazing?"

Lulu giggled.

"I was going to say understanding, but that works too."

"Oh," Johnny exclaimed, reaching into his jacket pocket. "I got something for you."

Lulu blinked in surprise.

"What'd you get me?"

"Here," Johnny said thrusting the gift bag towards her.

She took it with a grin and wondered what on Earth it could be. Lulu eagerly pushed past the tissue paper and couldn't believe what she saw.

"How many did you buy?"

"Twelve," Johnny answered.

"How in the world did you remember?"

"A husband never forgets his wife's favorite cookies."

"You're a good man, Johnny Zacchara. A _damn_ good man."

* * *

A/N: Review. Please? Pretty, pretty, pretty please? (:

And if you're craving some more JoLu FicLove check out the one-shot I just posted, _Colorful_. I also started a new fic about a month ago, _Breathe Me_.


	20. Of IceCream and Movies

**Chapter Twenty  
**Of Ice-cream and Movies

* * *

"This is a really comfy bed."

"It is, isn't it? I kind of missed it."

Maxie snorted and swallowed a spoonful of her mint chocolate chip ice-cream before turning back to her long haired friend.

"I'm sure you do. Well, maybe it's just the _Johnny love_ you miss."

"Johnny what?"

"Oh come on, Lulu," Maxie said, rolling her eyes. "You can't tell me that you don't miss all the things you two got up to after little Nate went to bed."

Lulu just shook her head and reached for the remote before changing the channel. She was so _not_ going to play into _that_ conversation.

"Hey!" Maxie barked. "I was watching that."

"You've seen _Breakfast at Tiffany's_ a thousand times, Maxie. Let's watch something else. Please?"

"I'm not watching another stupid, scary movie. Last time, I had to sleep with the lights on!"

Lulu shrugged and gave a sly grin.

"Not my fault you're a weenie."

"Weenie?" Maxie asked, laughing. "Seriously."

"Yep."

She and Johnny had arrived with Nate earlier that day and Lulu hadn't hesitated to call Maxie as soon as she stepped through the door. She needed somebody to talk some sense into her- someone to hold her back from totally giving in to the love of her life.

That's all Lulu wanted to do. She wanted to run to him and she wanted him to hold her and tell her how much he loved her. And she wanted to kiss him- _god_, did she want to kiss him. There wasn't anything sweeter to Lulu than Johnny's lips, especially when they were on her.

But she couldn't do that. _No, no, no_. She had to do anything, but that.

"How are things with you and Cooper?" Lulu asked, desperate to think of anything other than her dark-haired husband. Maxie shoved a handful of popcorn into her mouth and looked at Lulu out of the corner of her eye.

"We're not seeing each other anymore."

Lulu stopped digging her hand through the popcorn bowl.

"Why? What happened?"

"Baldwin," Maxie said simply, biting harshly on the end of her spoon. Popcorn and ice-cream wasn't the _best_ late night snack, but Lulu guessed that was the best way for her and Maxie to drown their sorrows.

"Scotty?"

"Nope. The younger and prettier slime ball."

"Serena," Lulu said, putting the pieces together.

"The one and only," Maxie bit out venomously.

"I'm sorry, Max. You're way too good for him." Lulu pulled Maxie's hand into hers and gave it a comforting squeeze. "It's Cooper's loss. You're way hotter than she is."

"For sure," she agreed laughing.

"A week from now and he'll be all alone. Serena doesn't stick around anywhere for long."

"Yeah and watch him call me and try to apologize."

"And watch you hang up on him!"

"I will," Maxie said, determination flashing in her eyes. "The last thing I want to do is talk to him. He's such an ass."

"Yes he is. And he's so going to regret letting you go." Lulu promised. "You're quite a catch, Jones."

Maxie laughed and gave Lulu and slight shove. "You're not half bad yourself, Spence. Which is probably why Johnny Z begged you to stay here," Maxie said with a teasing smirk. Lulu's smile faltered. "Sorry," she whispered.

"It's okay. I can't avoid him forever."

"No," Maxie agreed. "You really can't. Especially with him just down the hall."

She had a point. Johnny was making it extremely difficult for her to ignore him, but she knew why. There was a time, not to long ago, but long enough that it almost seemed foreign to her. There was a time when she had done the chasing. A time where she spent months on top of months convincing him that she loved him and that she didn't care about his father or his enemies or the life he led. She just wanted to be with him.

And then after all of that, after having a child together, after sharing a life together- he threw her away.

Maybe she was just being vindictive and wanted him to pay for that. Maybe she did want him to pay for all the tears and the pain he had inflicted and all the painful questions that Nathan had asked her.

It was petty and stupid and she knew she shouldn't have let any of that get to her.

That was then. This was now.

Now was the only time she should have a care for.

"I don't know why you insist on pushing him away," Maxie continued. "You guys are like destined to be together or some fairytale crap like that."

Lulu lifted her hand and turned to look at her blonde friend.

"Destined to be?"

Maxie nodded. "After everything you guys have been through together you still love each other and all that's standing in your way at the moment is your stubborn ass. So yeah, you guys are destined to be. It's Johnny and Lulu. Lulu and Johnny. Johnny, Lulu and Nate. Nate, Lulu and Johnny. Whichever way you wanna spin it- you guys are it."

Lulu stared at Maxie and wondered why they had wasted so much time at each other's throats. When all along they could have been the best of friends. She could have used Maxie's advice and counsel through so many situations and instead they were throwing catty insults at one another.

"So please explain why you're stalling. It's so obvious that Johnny Z is crazy for you."

"I just- I don't want him to hurt me," Lulu declared softly. She suddenly found her nails _very_ interesting.

Maxie looked over her shoulder and then carelessly threw her spoon on the wooden floor. She pushed the half full bowl of popcorn and wrapped her arms around Lulu.

"I'm making you a promise here, Lesley Lu. If that stupid, thug husband of yours hurts you again I'll break his knee caps."

Lulu giggled and swatted a lone tear away that lay on her cheek.

"Or I can sweet talk Spinelli and get him to get Jason to break Johnny's knee caps. Sound good?"

"Heart-warming."

"Awesome."

--

"Should I be awake?"

"Probably not, little man."

"Should mommy know that I'm awake?"

"_Definitely_ not," Johnny answered as he ruffled up his son's hair.

"So I'm lying to mommy?" Nate asked with wide innocent eyes.

"No, bud. You're just not telling mommy something. You do that sometimes, don't you?"

Nathan shrugged his shoulders and stretched up his arms, giving a yawn.

"Sometimes I don't tell her that I don't eat the apple she puts in my lunch."

Johnny laughed. This was, without a doubt, his son.

"I can't blame you there, little man."

It had been some sort of an agony for Johnny to be right down the hall from Lulu and not be able to see her, talk to her or touch her, but he had promised her. He had promised to give her some time to think and talk with Maxie. Which probably would fall negatively in his court what with Maxie Jones pleading his case. But Johnny would take what he would get.

He had his family all underneath the same roof and there was no threatening forces looming over their heads. It was a damn good feeling to have. It brought color back to his cheeks and a smile to his face just thinking about how his life would be different. He could and he _would_ work things out with Lulu.

After he gave her the space she needed he'd let her know that he was sorry and that he loved her. He hadn't ever loved anyone like he loved Lulu. There was just something about her that brought something out of him that made him love to live and love to be Johnny Zacchara. There wasn't anything else in the world he wanted but that.

"I really like this movie," Nate whispered as he watched the TV screen adamantly.

"It's a good movie."

"Did you watch it when you were my age, daddy?"

"Nope. I was alive sometime before Jurassic Park came out."

"Oh. Does mommy like this movie?"

"_Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God," Lulu chanted, chin on her knees and her hands wringing wildly. "Are they gonna die?" _

_Johnny couldn't help but keep his eyes trained on her instead of the movie. She was acting like it was real, instead of a Hollywood hit. _

"_Watch."_

_Lulu gave a strangled cry and threw her back against the lush couch as her hands fluttered up to cover her mouth._

"_What a stupid little girl! She's totally going to get herself killed!"_

"_She's saving her brother," he told her. Johnny lifted his left hand off the back of the couch and threaded it gently through her hair. He watched amused as her worried expression turned to horror as Lex couldn't get the small door to shut. _

"_It's just a motion picture, Lulu."_

"_Sshh!" She yelled, shielding her eyes. _

"Oh yeah, buddy. Mommy _loves_ Jurassic Park."

"Really?" Nate asked. He was so much like his mom, not taking his eyes off the screen and talking all at once.

"Really," Johnny told him as he rolled off the bed. "I'm going to go downstairs and grab a water bottle. Do you want anything?"

"No thank you," Nate said.

Johnny skipped a stair at a time as he made his way to the kitchen and instantly regretted not wearing socks as his feet made contact with the cold, tile floor that covered his kitchen. He sprinted carefully towards the fridge and searched for a water bottle.

"Hey," a small voice spoke from behind. Johnny whipped up and hit his head against the door of the fridge. "Oh geeze!" Lulu exclaimed, running over to him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Johnny answered, slowly. She smiled and took a step back. "How's your slumber party going?"

"Great. Yours?"

Johnny cocked an eyebrow.

Lulu smiled and crossed her arms over her chest. "I checked in Nate's room to give him a kiss goodnight and he wasn't there. I have complete confidence that he didn't run away to Vegas to get married and that he's just watching a movie with his daddy."

"You caught us," he told her, throwing up his hands in mock surrender.

"So what movie are you guys watching?"

"Jurassic Park."

"Figures," Lulu whispered with a grin. "Well get to it, daddy. Don't keep him waiting."

"Oooh," Johnny said. He didn't know what it was, but he just felt _daring_. "I love it when you call me daddy."

Lulu's mouth dropped open in a mix of hilarity and horror.

"You're horrible!"

"Or incorrigible."

"Go!" Lulu demanded, pushing him out of the kitchen. "Shoo!"

"Love you too, Lulu!"

Lulu shook her head and laughed silently as her hair fell around her. He _was_ incorrigible and she loved it.

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, I'll be honest with you. There are only two reasons it took me so long to update. First, I've been hyperventilating about the long awaited return of _Gossip Girl_ and _Supernatural_. My second excuse is I've been dedicating all of my free time to hunting down _Twilight_ (movie) Icons. December cannot come fast enough my friends.

On another note, if anybody has LiveJournal you should totally add me. :D I'm so pimping myself out here, but I don't care! I'm lonely over there!! The link is in my profile- the whole homepage thing.

And on a whole other note, I'm just curious if people are losing interest. Hits and reviews have gone down which proves my earlier thoughts about cutting it at Chapter Twenty-four. I didn't listen to that thought and I've prolonged the chapters with fillers like this chapter plus I'm extending it to about 30 chapters. Anyways, if you read it, just let me know- it does inspire me to update faster. I won't hold the chapter until I get a certain amount of reviews or anything, but it's just nice to know that a couple hundred people aren't just clicking, reading one sentence and then leaving. LOL. Am I making any sense? Okay, just say "good chapter" or even a straight to the point one "update soon!". I don't care. I just like to know people still care about my little, lame story. . . . . Now that I've thorougly rambled- review! Or add me on LJ. :D


	21. Donkeys Need Love Too

**Chapter Twenty-One  
**Donkeys Need Love Too

* * *

"_I married you because you were pregnant. You and I both know that. Don't act like I spent days upon days rehearsing my proposal speech and arranging a nice little dinner at the MetroCourt. I did what was right by you and our son. Yes, I was afraid you'd end up like my mother, because I was fond of you and didn't want you dead."_

--

"_You and I can't work. The people who shot you aren't going away. They're waiting for me to take you back. They're waiting for me to show any sort of happiness around you, Lulu. I won't do that. Don't love me. Love yourself and our son and stay away from me."_

--

"_I don't care how you feel about what I'm doing. If I had, I would have asked you before I made any decisions. I'm sorry that doesn't agree with you and your feelings, but that doesn't mean you get to go around throwing yourself at Dillon or Logan or any other guy here in Port Charles. Get a grip on yourself, Lulu. You need to take a good look at yourself and your life. You have a son you need to think about and I don't think he'd be appreciative of all these strange men you're bringing into his life."_

--

"_You act like I care what you think."_

--

So he was possibly the biggest jackass to roam the Earth. Did it earn him any points that he hated it?

He couldn't blame Lulu if she didn't want to try and make their marriage work. He lied, yelled, blamed and dug himself into a hole that he couldn't manage to climb out of. He deserved every push and shove she threw at him, but that didn't mean he was giving up. There was no way in Hell he would ever give up on Lulu- ever.

That was probably why he volunteered to set up for Nate's birthday party. Decorating and organizing weren't his favorite things, but Lulu had begged him and he couldn't exactly say no to the woman whose good graces he was trying to get back under.

Johnny ripped the streamer bag open and watched it fly across the room, landing directly in front of red pumps.

"Since when did you become the decorator?" Claudia asked, kicking the roll of streamer back down the stairs.

"What are you doing here?" Johnny asked.

Claudia smiled and sauntered down the front steps and taking a seat at the bar. She wrapped her slim fingers around the back of a chair and leaned forward. Johnny could smell her expensive Italian perfume from his spot in the middle of the casino and it only served to remind him how different they were nowadays.

"It's Nathan's birthday," she replied, flipping her long black hair over her shoulder. Her red fingernails sparkled under the lights. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"You're a little early," Johnny told her dryly.

"Am I?"

Johnny looked around the empty casino. "Yeah, you are."

"Are you still mad at me?" She asked with a slight pout.

"Why would I be mad, Claudia?" He asked her as he unwounded the red streamers and artfully twirled them.

"You seem stressed and _tense_."

Johnny ripped off a piece of tape and placed the streamer from one side of the bar to the other, trying to hide the fact that it was a _bar_.

"Yeah well, I've got about twenty kids and their moms on their way over here, including mine and this place isn't ready yet."

Claudia looked around the boat they called a bar and eyed the balloons, food trays, party decorations and streamers with a look of disbelief. "It looks ready to me," she said. "And shouldn't the mom be helping?"

Johnny paused from lifting the lid of the vegetable tray and looked over his shoulder at her.

"Lulu's bringing Nate."

"No I'm not!" Lulu yelled, rushing in with an oversized box. "I brought the cake."

"Where's the kid?" Claudia shouted.

"Maxie's bringing Nate," Lulu said, making her way to Johnny. She brushed past him and Johnny couldn't ignore the tingle that shot through his veins. Was it weird to still get butterflies around his wife, around a girl that he had been in love with for more than six years? Johnny decided he didn't care. Lesley Zacchara would probably give him butterflies till the day that he died and he was absolutely content with that fact.

"Did you make him his breakfast pancakes?" Johnny asked softly, a small smile dancing on his lips.

Lulu smiled back and he could easily see the proud glint she held for their son in her eye. "Of course, the first thing he said when he woke up was, '_Where are my pancakes, mommy?_' I'm telling you, if he wasn't so darn cute I'd be offended that I didn't get a kiss first."

"We did good, huh?" Johnny asked eyeing her wedding ring. "I mean, we were no where _near_ ready to be parents and somehow we had one awesome kid."

"Well of course he's awesome, Johnny," she said, pushing back a strand. "He did come from me."

Johnny laughed. She could always make him laugh.

"And of course it had nothing to do with me, right?"

Lulu shook her head and crinkled her nose in dislike. "The bratty side comes from you."

"Oh because you're _never_ bratty."

"_Never_."

"Do you want me puke now or later?" Claudia cut in.

"Who invited you again?" Lulu asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

Claudia slid out of her seat and glared at the younger blonde. "I didn't know you had to be invited to your own nephew's birthday party."

"And that would be because you don't know a whole lot."

"You know, blondie, I'm really sick of you and your damn attitude," Claudia snapped.

"Well you're just going to have to deal with her damn attitude," Johnny snapped back. Claudia had never accepted the fact that Johnny loved Lulu, that he married Lulu and that he had a child with Lulu. She was and always would be stuck on the idea that no woman on the face of the Earth was good enough for him. He had accepted that fact and so had Lulu, but Johnny was firm in the belief that Claudia should keep all of her negative thoughts to herself. "If you're going to stay, behave. Alright?"

"Behave? What am I dog?"

Lulu opened her mouth to retort a surely negative remark, but Johnny swung his arm around and clamped his hand over her mouth.

"Play nice," Johnny whispered in her ear. He felt her shiver as his breath tickled the side of her ear. "Please?" He added. Johnny practically felt her roll her eyes.

"Fine," Lulu mumbled, eyeing Claudia suspiciously.

--

Lulu couldn't believe her sister-in-law. The woman was _poison._ She was always in Johnny's ear highlighting all the negative things about Lulu and how he didn't need to stay with her out of obligation. You'd think with all the talk of love and devotion she spouts off about Nathan she would at least try and be civil at his birthday party. It seemed that proved to be too difficult for little old Claudia.

Lulu ignored the obvious argument taking place between her husband and his crazy sister as she picked up the 'Happy Birthday' napkins and began to place them around the tables. She quickly snagged a look at her watch and gave a sigh. Only five more minutes until Maxie and Nate got here and then Lulu would finally have someone to talk to.

It wasn't that she was avoiding Johnny, because she wasn't. Okay, maybe she was; just a little, but it was only because she didn't know how to act around him anymore. They had grown apart so much and even though he still made her heart flutter Lulu wasn't sure if she could trust him with her heart again. The last time she had, he dropped it. She was almost certain that it wasn't done healing.

"Hey," Johnny whispered from behind. Lulu almost sighed; his voice still made her weak in the knees. It was rough and gentle and created a stirring deep inside her belly. She wanted to bang her head against the wall when that damn voice that sounded so much like Maxie crept inside and hissed, "_You're so in love, Lesley Lu. You really should just go with it_."

Lulu turned around and looked up into those chocolate brown eyes and she could see the love and affection looking back at her. It took every ounce of her will power not to jump him right then and there. This _was_ a kid's birthday party after all.

"Hey," Lulu whispered back over her shoulder. "Have you silenced the dog yet?"

Johnny chuckled. "She'll be nice as long as you are."

"I'm always nice," she replied, turning around to face him.

Johnny smiled and raised his hand, brushing her bangs to the side and out of her eyes. "Have you thought about us some more?"

Lulu nodded and crossed her arms over her chest in an effort to protect herself. Johnny always made her feel so vulnerable and she hated it but craved it all at the same time.

"I have."

"And . . .?" He prompted.

"I'm not quite done, Johnny," Lulu said. He wanted nothing but honesty and that was exactly what she was going to give him. Johnny nodded and she could see the light dim in his eyes. Lulu felt a wave of guilt and wash over her and she instantly regretted her words.

"Can you give me something?" Johnny asked. "Anything?"

"I know I love you," she replied. Lulu figured she might as well dive in, bring just a little bit of light back into his eyes. "I know Nate loves you. I know that you still make my heart beat a little faster when ever you're around. I know that I want to make us work, but I- I don't know how. I don't know how to make us work."

From out of the corner of her eye, she saw Claudia slink over to the bar, helping herself to a drink as she kept her eyes on Lulu. Her eyes snapped back to Johnny as she felt his rough hand glide over hers. She watched as he brought it up and kissed the inside of her wrist, before grasping onto her lithe fingers. She didn't realize she was holding her breath until her head started to hurt. Only Johnny Zacchara could make her forget how to breathe.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Nathan squealed. He tugged on Maxie's hand, pulling her down the stairs.

"Little man!" Maxie yelled. "These heels weren't made for running!" Nathan shook her off and rocketed himself towards Johnny, who caught him swiftly.

"I missed you daddy," Nathan told him.

"I missed you too."

Lulu watched as Johnny buried his face in their son's little neck and hugged him tighter. It was enough to make her cry. She jumped slightly as Maxie's hand came and brushed the tears off her face and kissed the side of her head.

"Be strong," she whispered, bumping hips with her playfully. "Because we've got a party to rock." Lulu smiled at her, but couldn't help but feel guilty for staying at Maxie's the past couple nights.

Staying with Johnny hadn't been working. His bed smelled like him, the bathroom smelled like him, Nate constantly talked about him, he was constantly there and the happy memories that lived in that house followed her. She had just needed a change of scenery. Maybe she should have left Nathan with his father, but she couldn't bare to be away from him ever since the whole Sophia fiasco.

"Aunt Claudia!" Nate yelled, finally realizing there was someone else in the room.

"Hey buddy!" She quickly came around the bar and bent down, giving him a tight hug. "Happy birthday."

"Thank you," Nate replied, grinning.

"How old are you again?"

"I'm six now, Aunt Claudia!"

Claudia smiled and Lulu couldn't find one ounce of fakeness anywhere in it. "Oh my goodness, you're so big now!"

Nate rolled his eyes. "Mommy says that everyday. I don't think I look any bigger than yesterday or the day before that or the day before that."

"Well you're a lot bigger than you were last year when you were five!" Claudia said, tickling his sides and making him giggle uncontrollably. She might not like the woman, but she was good to her son and that definitely earned her some brownie points.

"Oh look!" Maxie said, feigning excitement. "More kiddies!" Sure enough a few kids were ushered in by their parents. A few kids Lulu recognized from school and a couple she knew were from Nate's baseball team. "So tell me Lu," Maxie asked, leaning up against her side as Nate ran off to his friends. "Are we playing pin the tail on the donkey? Because if so I volunteer Johnny as the donkey."

Johnny glared at the shorter blonde.

"What?" Maxie asked, throwing her hands up. "If it walks like a donkey, talks like a donkey and smells like a donkey; it's probably a donkey." Johnny only shook his head and walked off to the crowd on newcomers.

Lulu pinched Maxie's arm. "Ow!" She shouted in shock, smacking Lulu's arm.

"Be nice," Lulu scolded.

"Donkey _is_ nice! It's the G rated version of jackass!" Lulu shook her head and hid a small smile. She told herself that Maxie was Maxie and there was no changing her.

The shrieking of happy children split through the air and the two women grimaced. "Promise me that you and Johnny Z aren't going to be reproducing anytime soon. I can only take one child at a time."

The mere suggestion of another baby rocked Lulu to the core and she wasn't sure what she was feeling at the moment. Amusement? Annoyed? _Hopeful?_ She and Johnny had always wanted to have just one more baby, but now? Now she wasn't so sure.

"Don't worry," Lulu told her. "We won't be having any more children any time soon."

"Good," Maxie said with an approved nod. "Because Nate's the only godchild I have time for anymore."

Lulu took up a seat near the vegetable tray and waited for Maxie to do the same until she dove into her questioning. "I thought you and Cooper were over with."

Maxie shrugged. "I guess there was more to the story then what Serena told me and what I _let_ Cooper tell me. So I'm giving out another chance, because God knows that I'm not one to judge. Besides, I'm not getting any younger."

"Oh, Jones," Lulu sighed.

"I'm serious! Nate may have not been planned, but you have to admit he came at the perfect time. He forced you two to admit some things you didn't want to and slapped you two together. And Johnny loves you. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. I would _kill_ for some hot guy to look at me the way Johnny looks at you. And if I got a nice little Nathan out of the package . . . well, that wouldn't be _so_ bad."

Lulu's mouth dropped open. "Do you want to have a baby?" Never before had she ever heard these things fall from her best friend's mouth. She had talked about finding someone who cared about her, but never marriage or children.

"Well, not now, but before I'm 30 would be nice. I don't want to be hobbling after the kid."

"Maxie," Lulu said, laughter laced through her voice. "I don't think we hobble until our sixties."

"You know what I mean!"

Lulu nodded and propped her elbow up on the table before resting her chin on the palm of her hand. "I know, but don't rush into anything just because you want to have that fairy tale ending. Make sure Coop's the one first."

"Why wouldn't he be?" She asked, shaking her hair off her face.

"I don't know," Lulu replied, glancing over at the group of kids. She watched as Johnny sorted through the board games, unsure of which one everyone would like.

"Do you think Johnny's the one?" Maxie asked.

Lulu watched as he helped the kids set up Twister and smiled at how easy going he was with all the screaming coming from their mouths. She watched him smile and it almost took her breath away.

"Yeah," she replied, certain of her answer. "He's the one."

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, so I'm _totally_ prepared for the egg throwing, but that up there that you just read 2,780 words & 8 pages had to score me some points, yes?

I've had a lot of personal problems lately which is a big reason why it took me so long to update. I was going to update last night, but halfway through I realized I had been writing a scene that should be for the _next_ chapter. Tons and tons and _tons_ of JoLu fluff heading your way!!

Also, if you guys haven't already, check out my new JoLu one-shot _31 Flavors_. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this very, very, _very_ late chapter and don't forget to let me know your thoughts!!


	22. Hallelujah

**Chapter Twenty-two  
**Hallelujah

* * *

"Please?"

"No! You are not downing shots at my six-year-old's birthday party!"

Maxie pouted and crossed her arms over her chest. "_Why not?_ It would make this party _ten times better_!"

"No," Lulu repeated, shaking her head for emphasis.

"We're at a bar!"

"No!"

Maxie groaned and balled her hands up into fists. "Can I at least have a beer?"

"If you want to get drunk, go to Jake's."

"I can't leave you alone with that Harpy in scratching distance. Somebody's gotta protect my Lulu."

"I think I can do that." Lulu and Maxie both turned around in their seats to a smirking Johnny. Lulu felt her heart thud painfully in her chest. Johnny's smile had _way_ to much control over her emotions. "Besides, Claudia's all bark when it comes to Lulu."

"I can take care of myself, you guys," Lulu said.

"Oh, I know," Maxie replied. "But it's entertaining to mess with the Ice Bitch. Besides, I can't just let you have _all_ the fun."

"That wouldn't be fair," Johnny interjected.

"Nope! Not fair at all."

"You two make quite a team," Lulu assessed, much to the horror of her friend and husband. "Or not," she muttered.

"Or not," Johnny and Maxie said simultaneously. "Does anyone else find it really creepy that Ric Lansing is here?" Maxie asked.

"He brought Molly," Lulu pointed out.

"I know, but did he really have to stay? I mean this is a _kid's_ birthday party."

"Does anyone else find it creepy that you're here?" Johnny asked. "_Kidless_." Lulu shot Johnny an exasperated look that just screamed '_are you serious?_' before leaving the table for the two to fight alone.

It seemed that Johnny and Maxie would never be friends which hurt Lulu deeply. Sure she and Maxie hadn't been the best of buds from the beginning, but they grew up. And with that growing up they reassessed their lives and realized that fighting and trying to ruin each other wasn't going to get them anywhere. Neither one of them had any intentions of leaving Port Charles so they might as well learn to co-exist- _without_ sleeping with the others boyfriend. Well, Lulu thought, that was more for Maxie then herself.

"_Do you think she's up there somewhere freaking out that we're friends?" Maxie asked gazing at the tombstone with wide eyes. "Or do you think she has that smug little smirk on her face because she saw it coming a mile away."_

"_I think she's freaking out," Lulu answered, crouching down next to her new friend. "I mean Maxie and Lulu? We're kind of like the Carly and Robin or Carly and Elizabeth or Carly and Brenda of our time."_

"_Funny how you're cousin is in all of those enemy lists," Maxie quipped._

_Lulu laughed. "Carly's . . .-"_

"_Not the friendliest person alive?"_

"_But I love her."_

"_That's kind of like how Georgie and I were. I mean we're totally different then you and Carly, because well you and Carly both ruined marriages and Georgie didn't."_

"_Do you still hold the whole Dillon thing against me?" Lulu asked quietly. Maxie looked away from her sister's tombstone._

"_Honestly, I forgave you once Georgie did. I mean, I was furious that you hurt my sister because she's my sister. All those things I did to hurt you were because I was so sick of people treating you like a Saint. You helped wreck a marriage, got yourself knocked up and then aborted the baby and nobody looked twice. I help wreck a marriage and I'm this giant slut. And yeah, I was kind of using sex as a tool, but I just didn't find it fair."_

"_I could have been nicer to you," Lulu offered. "I could have not taken the bait, I could have walked away when you said something nasty-"_

"_Could have, could have, could have," Maxie said smiling. "If we could go back and change all of our 'could have's' we would be Saints."_

_Lulu smiled and then gasped in surprise, quickly brining her hand up to her large stomach. _

"_Are you okay," Maxie asked, worriedly. _

"_Yeah," Lulu replied with a nod. "The baby- he . . . he kicked." _

"_He kicked?"_

"_Yeah. I mean he's been fluttering around for awhile now, but he's never kicked me before."_

"_Wow."_

"_Do you want to feel?" Lulu asked, extending her hand out towards the smaller blonde. She quickly nodded and offered up her hand. Lulu gently guided it to the left side of her stomach where her baby boy seemed to be making field goals._

"_Oh!"_

_Lulu grinned. "I know. It's just BAM- right out of nowhere."_

"_That is incredible."_

Yep, Maxie Jones was her best friend. Lulu bit back a groan as the bickering increased from behind her. Johnny's voice was rising considerably, but Maxie smacked him in an effort to 'calm him down'. Only in Maxie's world would hitting someone calm them down. Maxie Jones was her friend- her only real girl friend, but Johnny was her husband. He was the love of her life and she knew she'd never find someone like him ever again.

"_What about these?" Johnny asked, shoving the baby booties in her face. Lulu rolled her eyes and pushed them away. "What's wrong with 'em? I think they're pretty cute."_

"_They are cute," Lulu agreed, pulling down some colored bottles. _

"_Then why don't you like them?"_

"_They're pink."_

"_Oh," Johnny said, bringing the little booties back up for a closer look. "They are pink."_

"_Yes, honey. They are pink. So I highly doubt our son will appreciate pink booties." Johnny gave the little shoes another look before trotting off to put them back. He returned moments later with a pair of blue booties. _

"_How about these?" _

"_Aww!" Lulu cooed. "They have duckies on them! Put them in the basket. OH! Take a picture and send it to Maxie. She'll love those!"_

_Johnny rolled his eyes and smoothly pulled his cell phone out of the back pocket of his snug blue jeans. He flipped the phone open and swiftly snapped a picture. "What does it matter what color they are. I mean, the kid isn't going to remember what color booties he wore at six months. Hell, he isn't even going to remember the first two years of his life."_

_Lulu slammed the bottles into their basket and glared at him. "I'll remember."_

_Johnny pursed his lips together and hit the 'Send' button before snapping his phone closed. _

"_Have you thought more about names?" He asked, trying to change the subject smoothly. A happy Lulu made a safe Johnny._

_Lulu shook her head. "I think we should meet him first. You know, hold him, look at him, kiss him and then mull over some possibilities." Johnny nodded and watched as she put a hand over her ever growing tummy. She did that a lot these days, he noticed. Especially when she was sleeping. _

_Lulu wasn't a night owl. Now that she was pregnant and tired all the time she usually went to bed around eight o'clock. Johnny would go with her, because she had once told him she had the best nights sleep when he was next to her. She said his presence, even though she wasn't aware of it in her sleeping state, brought her comfort. And he wanted her as comfortable as possible these days. So he would just lay there and flip through the television channels. Every now and then the glint off her ring would shine in his eye and he'd look over to see her laying a protective hand over her womb. _

_Their son wasn't even born yet and he had two parents that would die for him. This kid was so going to grow up in a plastic bubble, he just knew it. _

"_You know, I never wanted kids," Johnny told her as he felt the velvet surface of a baby blanket. He didn't look at Lulu as he said it, but he could feel her eyes on him, trying to decode that sentence. "I always thought I'd be like my father- crazy and cruel. And even if I wasn't like him, I'd still be in the mob and what kind of life would that give a child? Not a good one. Not a safe one. So I never really let myself imagine me with a family, but . . . then I met you. I still remember that night clearer than any other night in my life. You were all tear-stained and angry, furious and hurt, wounded but strong. You spilled your guts to me that night and I spilled mine. I'm not sure what it was about you, but I knew I could trust you. I felt like I could tell you anything. The months went by and before I knew it you became my world. Not like my mom was to my dad, because if you ever wanted or want out I'll give it to you." Johnny looked away from the velvet blanket and straight into brown eyes. "I love you enough to let you go. As long as it's what you want."_

"_I want you, Johnny," she told him, wrapping her hand into his larger one. "I love you."_

_Johnny smiled and gave her hand a warm squeeze. "I'm really glad we're having a baby, Lulu."_

"_Me too."_

Yeah, Johnny Zacchara was the love of her life; even if he was color blind.

--

"Humph!" Maxie turned on her heel and headed over to Lulu. To bitch about him, no doubt. Johnny ran a hand through his hair, but stopped and raised an eyebrow. He quickly waded his way through the crowd of tiny six-year-olds and stopped short in front of a couple locked in an embrace.

"Hey Ric," Johnny snapped. "Get off my sister."

"John!" Claudia exclaimed as soon as Ric removed his mouth from hers. She quickly smoothed her shirt down and stepped in front of her younger brother. "Great party."

"It's not a make-out party, Claudia. It's a birthday party."

"I know, I know," she said, pursing her lips together. "It's a very nice birthday party. I especially like the cake. I haven't had any yet, but it looks delicious."

"It does," Ric added over Claudia's shoulder. She quickly reached up a hand and slowly pushed his face away.

"Just be quiet," she whispered to him. "Oh look! There's Luke Spencer! You should say 'hi' to your father-in-law, John."

Johnny crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head down at his sister.

"Well if it isn't the Mob Princess herself," Luke said, slapping Johnny on the shoulder.

"It's so good to see you Lukey!"

"Oh I wish I could say the same, Ms. Zacchara."

"I'm surprised to see you here, Pops," Johnny told him. "After all, I never did peg you as a _Twister_ fan."

"There's alcohol right?"

"Lulu got rid of it all earlier."

Luke wagged a finger in the younger man's face, sporting an impish grin. "She didn't get rid of it _all_," he whispered before trotting off to the back.

"Oh look, your wife's coming over. We'll leave so you two can talk," Claudia said, leading Ric away by the hand.

Johnny turned and watched as Lulu looked at the couple running away with an arched brow. "Claudia and Ric?" She asked perplexed.

"I know," Johnny said. "I thought I had seen it all." Lulu nodded and watched as they made their getaway out the front door with an amused expression.

"I guess they didn't want cake," she said with as shrug.

"I think you should let me take you out on a date."

He watched with hidden amusement as Lulu's mouth dropped open slightly as she stared at him. She fidgeted a little, sliding her hands into the back pockets of her jeans and capturing her bottom lip between her teeth. She would never know how that simple little thing made him want to throw her up against a wall and do things that were most definitely _not_ appropriate for a child's birthday party.

"A date?" She asked, taken aback. "I'm pretty sure we're way past the dating status."

"I know, but in order for me to regain your trust we need to start small. A date is small, yes?"

"It is," she agreed, looking down at the ugly patterned carpet. "Where would we go?"

"Anywhere you want," Johnny told her, sliding his hand around her waist, pulling her flush up against him. "We could go to Canada or Paris, wherever you want to go." He ran his free hand down her arm and took delight in the goosebumps that popped up in his wake.

"A date," she murmured, looking up at him. "We haven't been on a date in a long time."

"I know," he said, swaying her gently from side to side. "I've been a terribly neglectful husband."

"And mean," Lulu whispered.

"Very mean."

"And stubborn."

"Extremely stubborn."

"It had better be one hell of a date," she told him, sliding her arms around his neck.

"Have I ever let you down before?" He asked, leaning down.

"Not that I can remember."

He was so close. He could smell her watermelon lipgloss and her mint toothpaste and it made his heart thud in his chest. He wondered if she could hear it. More than likely, considering she owned his heart.

"Mom. Dad," Nate called. "If you guys are going to kiss, can you do it outside?"

* * *

**A/N:** Darn that Nathan Zacchara. If he wasn't so adorable you'd hate him, no? ;) Hahaha.

I'm iffy about this chapter, just because I feel like I rushed it. I just wanted to get it out to you guys before I went on vacation for a week- it's my mom's wedding. Wee. I think? :D Anyways, only TWO more chapters left! The date and then the epilogue. I'm sad to see CIY go, but I think it's time. Besides, I know a certain someone who knows exactly what's happening in the epilogue and is dying to read it.


	23. Momentum

**Chapter Twenty-three  
**Momentum

* * *

_The sun hung low in the sky and Lulu admired the way it brought out blue tints in her boyfriend's hair. Boyfriend. Was that what Johnny was? She wasn't sure and she didn't want to ask. 'Are you my boyfriend?' sounded stupid and reminded Lulu of the book _Are You My Mother? _Laura used to read to her._

"_You're afraid of heights," Johnny said before taking another bite- if you could call biting half the thing off a bite- of his pizza._

"_False," Lulu told him, ripping off a pepperoni and plucking it in her mouth. "You like The Notebook."_

_Johnny grinned. "True. You hate diet soda."_

"_True. You eat pizza like a pig."_

_Johnny laughed and the sound of it made her smile. She wished he would laugh more often. "This is a game to get to know each other more, not pointing out the obvious things."_

"_Rules are meant to be broken," she told him. Johnny rolled his eyes and swiftly finished off his coke. _

"_Yes, they are."_

_The silence that quickly fell over them was comfortable and it caught Lulu off guard. She had always felt the need to fill up silence with words, but with Johnny she was okay with just sitting there and thinking. It was a different way of going about things, but it was definitely a good different. She guessed she could say she was comfortable doing anything around Johnny. He just calmed her and sent her heart racing all at the same time. She could definitely get used to being around him . . ._

Well, she certainly did get used to being around him. Lulu smiled to herself before taking another glance at her watch.

He was late.

Which was very un-Johnny like, but then again so much had changed over the past year- what did she really know anymore? Maybe Johnny wasn't OCD about time anymore. Maybe he liked to be fashionably late. Maybe he smirked to himself at the thought of someone waiting around for him. Maybe he was actually driving the speed limit getting a good old laugh.

Maybe this date thing was a bad idea.

"Hey! Sorry I'm late," that rugged voice said from behind. She turned just in time for him to graze his fingers down her arm. The sparks that popped and fizzled were enough to give her a migraine, but a good migraine. If there was such a thing . . . Whatever it was sent all doubts running away screaming. "Claudia held me up."

"Was it another speech of how I'm not right for you and you should just let me go?"

Johnny gave her a sad smile and said, "Something like that."

"So, where are we going for our 'date'?" She asked, using the term 'date' loosely. The word almost made her dissolve into fits of giggles. She and Johnny really did things ass backwards. First, have a baby, then get married, and then date. They were the definition of dysfunctional, but at the moment dysfunctional seemed to work pretty well for them.

Lulu was almost afraid at the wide smile that spread across Johnny's face. It spoke volumes of a secret he wasn't going to let her in on- she was going to have to find out for herself.

"_What is it?" Lulu asked, shaking the box up against her ear. If she looked like a little girl at 6 AM on a Christmas morning, well- so be it. Johnny grabbed her curious shaking hands and forced her gaze onto him. Well, he didn't really have to do much forcing. Her gaze just kind of automatically went to him._

"_Open it." Lulu looked at the box and then back at him. "It's not a bomb," he promised her with a smirk. _

"_I'm not good at taking presents," she admitted._

"_You're not taking it. I'm giving it." Lulu sighed which only fueled his smirk. She couldn't really say it bothered her. After all, he was like a freaking Greek God. _

_Her nimble fingers parted the box open, revealing a necklace she had seen countless times around his neck. _

_It was his mother's. _

"_I can't take this," she told him, snapping the box shut and thrusting it towards him._

"_Why not?" He asked, pushing the box back towards her. "I just got it polished and it's the perfect length, I checked."_

"_It's your mom's."_

"_It was. Now I want it to be yours."_

"_Johnny you should keep this in the family. I mean we've been dating for what, a month? And now you're giving me your dead mother's jewelry. Keep it. Give it to your daughter."_

"_I don't have a daughter. So my girlfriend'll have to do."_

"_You don't want me to have this," she told him, lifting the box up and giving it a shake._

"_If I didn't want you to have it I wouldn't have given it to you." _

_The staring contest that took place between them lasted for what felt like forever. He was relentless and stubborn and she wasn't any different. 'Oh, what a pair we make,' Lulu thought sarcastically. She looked at the box one last time while thoughts of giving in and just taking the damn thing overrode her brain. Johnny, however, snatched the box out of her hands and held it safely within his._

"_I don't know why you think I would just give this away to anybody," he said. "You're not anybody. You're not like anybody I've ever met before. You're the girl who climbed into my car one night and didn't even care who the hell I was. You're the girl who doesn't care that I drive like a maniac. You're the girl who isn't afraid of my father. You're the girl who doesn't let my sister scare you away with her over-protectiveness and ridiculous threats. You're the only girl who I've ever cared about and it wasn't easy, just so you know. I didn't just let myself care for you. You wormed your way in with your absolute craziness and your insane bravery and the warped way you look at things-"_

"_Warped way?"_

"_Yeah," he said with a laugh. "I didn't say it was bad. It's just- just different and interesting."_

"_Then can you just use those words instead of 'warped'. You're making me sound like Carly."_

"_You're acting like Carly with the whole interrupting my speech thing."_

_Lulu threw her hands up as she threw him a teasing smile. "Sorry. Continue, please."_

"_I just care about you, Lulu. A lot. And I want to give you something that proves that I care about you- a lot."_

"_But you should have this. You should wear it and look at it everyday and remember her."_

"_I'd rather just see you everyday and look at it that way."_

_Lulu opened the box with a snap and stared down at the gold necklace. "Okay."_

"Lulu?"

She quickly snapped herself out of memory lane and turned her head to look at him. His worried expression almost made her giggle, but it _did_ make her smile. Her Johnny worried too much.

"We're not even officially on our date and already you're zoning out on me," Johnny teased.

"Sorry," Lulu said, waving her hand through the air. "I was just thinking."

"About?"

"Old times," she answered with a smile. At the worried look on his face, Lulu reached out and touched his arm lightly before saying, "_Good_ old times."

"Good."

"_I love you, Lulu."_

_It was like someone had sucked all the air out of the room and threw it out the window. She felt light headed and a little nauseous. She was positive that it wasn't from her new founded pregnancy either. _

"_Please don't say that," she whispered, eyes locked on the ground._

"_Say what?" Johnny asked. "That I love you?"_

"_Stop!"_

"_I do!" He pressed, taking a step closer._

"_No you don't," Lulu insisted, looking up at him as she took a step back._

_Johnny took a deep breath and continued, "I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it."_

"_You're just saying it because I'm pregnant," she told him, pointing at him accusingly. She felt the baby inside her flutter and it caused her heart to swell. _

"_Lulu, I don't say something unless I mean it. You know that. I love you. I have for awhile now and I didn't tell you because I didn't want to be honest with myself, but I think you and our baby deserve more than that."_

"_I thought you were afraid of love." Her hands clung to the bottom of her shirt, twisting and folding- anything to keep busy. She didn't know what she'd do if she couldn't keep busy. _

"_I'm afraid of becoming my father," he corrected. She knew he was being honest just by the look in his eye and just by the fact that he was Johnny. He didn't lie. Especially to her. _

_He took a step back from Lulu and the situation and looked down at his hands as if they would tell him what to say next. "I'm afraid of loving you so much that it eats me alive. I'm afraid of losing myself and I know you are too. But I'm gonna take a chance. I'm going to prove to myself and to my sister that I am not Anthony. I'm my own person who has his own thoughts and his own feelings. I'm not going to end up like him and you're not going to end up like your mother._

"_I won't let you become Laura. I'd save you. And I know you'd save me. Those are my thoughts and those are my feelings."_

_Her heart kept replaying his words over and over to her head- trying to convince her steel head that he was right. She may look like the loving and fragile Laura, but every ounce inside of her was Luke. Johnny may have been raised in a house of violence where his mother paid the price, but that didn't mean he was destined to play the same game. _

"_We could totally crash and burn," Lulu said taking a step forward._

_He nodded, "We could."_

"_We could be horrible parents." Another tentative step._

_Johnny shook his head. "Naw. I think we'll be okay."_

"_Our kid could hate us." Another step._

"_With your smile?"_

"_We could end up hating each other." One more step._

"_I could never hate you," he whispered, stretching his arm out and extending his hand towards her, waiting for her to grasp it. She looked down at his hand and closed her eyes. _

_Lulu darted her tongue out to wet her lips and then sighed. Slowly she opened up her eyes and met his stare. "I love you too," Lulu said, grabbing his hand. She took one last step and closed the distance between them. _

_Johnny leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. _

"_I know."_

The sound of Johnny's car door being slammed shut shook her out of her thoughts. Lulu reached down and unbuckled her seatbelt just as Johnny opened up her door. Her soft hand grabbed his rough one and he dragged her up a stone path that led to a large white house.

"Who's house are we breaking into for our date?" Lulu asked giggling.

"Well," Johnny said, releasing her hand and jogging up the few stairs that connected to the porch. He leaned up against a pillar and stared down at her. "Nobody's, since I own this place."

"You bought a house?" Lulu yelled, raising her arms and then letting them fall just as quickly back to her sides.

Johnny nodded. "What the hell do you need another house for?"

"Your house has some pretty bad memories and so does mine. I think what you, Nate and I need is a fresh start and this," he slapped the pillar and turned to look at the front door. "This is a fresh start." Wide eyed, Lulu shook her head in disbelief.

"You want to move in together on the first date?" She asked trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

Johnny laughed, "Not tonight, but soon. And I don't have to move with you guys. I just know that you don't like it back at your house and I know you can only endure being Maxie's roommate for so long so . . .-"

"You bought me a house?"

"Yeah," Johnny said as he stared at the building. "Yeah, I guess I did."

Lulu stomped her foot. "What if I don't like it?"

"You can change whatever you want. I'll even pay for it . . ."

"_Lulu!"_

"_What?"_

"_Come here!"_

"_I'm busy!" _

_That wasn't necessarily true and Lulu had a feeling that her husband knew it, but the irritated eight month pregnant women didn't care. She could hear his hurried footsteps racing down the stairs and rolled her eyes. Sometimes she wished he would just go to sleep and not wake up for a very, very, very long time. Maybe then she could get some peace and quiet._

"_You don't look busy," Johnny said from his place on the stairs._

"_I'm busy trying to convince your demon seed to stop kicking me in the kidneys," she told him, crossing her arms and turning her attention back to some dance show. _

"_I don't hear you yelling at him."_

"_Since Johnny Jr. eats what I eat, drinks what I drink and breathes what I breathe, I figure why can't we communicate telepathically? I mean, that's the next stop in the mother/son bond, right?"_

_Johnny snorted. "You're kidding right?"_

_Lulu turned around from her spot on the couch to throw him a nail biting glare. "Do I look like I'm in a 'kidding' mood?"_

"_No you don't," Johnny said, jumping off the stairs and coming around to the couch. He picked up her hands and gave her a slight tug. "Come on, I have something to show you."_

"_Bring it down here," Lulu said as she tried to pull her hands out of his._

_He shook his head, "I can't. You have to come to it." He gave her hands another pull._

"_Johnny," she said. "I am as big as our TV. I am as big as our refrigerator. Hell, I give our car a run for its money. So, with that said, bring it down here."_

_Johnny rolled his eyes and let go of her hands. Lulu gave a thankful sigh and leaned back against the couch cushions. It was short lived as Johnny put one hand underneath her knees and the other under her back, effectively lifting her off the couch._

"_What are you doing?!"_

"_Taking you to it!"_

"_If you drop me, Johnny Zacchara so help me . . .!"_

"_I'm not going to drop you, Lu. Relax."_

_She groaned and muttered insults the entire way up the stairs and up till he set her down right in front of their baby's nursery. Johnny hurriedly pushed the door open and threw his arm out pointing towards a blue bassinet._

"_You built it?" Lulu asked as the grin slowly spread across her face._

_Johnny nodded and the pride just oozed off him in waves. "Took me all day, but I finally finished."_

_Lulu smiled at him and then turned her attention back to the bassinet before walking over to it. She laid one hand down to feel the texture, but the tiny crib had other things in mind. As soon as her fingers made contact it crumbled to the wooden floor, wood, cloth and all. _

_She stared down at the pile and sucked hesitantly on her bottom lip. "Baby?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Stick to the piano, okay?"_

"_Okay."_

". . . maybe one day- soon- it can be me, you and Nate again, but right now I get that you need to just be you and I respect that . . . "

_Lulu yawned and cuddled into Johnny's side as she wrapped her arms around his right arm tighter. She lifted her eyes up and gave a smile. One month old Nathan Zacchara slept comfortably on his dad's chest with his little fists curled tight with one underneath his chin. The little, blue hat he wore was gone and she saw it curled up in Johnny's hand that lay protectively over their son's back. She felt Johnny press a kiss to the top of her head and Lulu knew that all the decisions she ever made in her life were the right ones. They lead her here after all, didn't they?_

". . . I don't want you to think that I bought this place to mess with your feelings. I just wanted to do something nice for you- to show you that I do love you and that I do want to make things right . . . "

"_Chinese?" Lulu asked, glancing at all the take-out menus that they had stashed in the kitchen drawer. It had been awhile since they had been out of the house for anything other than a diaper run and that meant take-out food was the number one food source._

_Johnny glanced at the menu from over her shoulder before he wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her neck, breathing in the scent of babies and vanilla. "MetroCourt," he mumbled into her neck._

_Lulu hit him upside the head with the menu. "The MetroCourt doesn't deliver, silly."_

_Johnny lifted his head and rested his chin on her shoulder. "I know. That's why I called Maxie to come baby-sit."_

"_Johnny-"_

"_We haven't left the house in weeks for just mommy and daddy time." Lulu leant back into him and let her fingers dance lightly on his arm._

"_The MetroCourt does have really good food."_

_He nodded, "It does."_

"_And it's not like he's going to miss us." _

_Johnny kissed her cheek and mumbled, "Stop trying to convince yourself and let's go. I hear Maxie in the driveway."_

Lulu looked down at her feet and then up to the rambling man before her. Why was she being a complete and utter idiot? She had it all. She had a beautiful son with the brightest smile she had ever seen and a man that loved and adored her. Sure he had lied, but he had done it for good reasons. He was sorry and was trying to make up for it and she was making him jump threw fiery hoops.

No more.

She let her clutch purse slip through her fingers and hit the ground as she took fast and long strides up to the blue porch where the love of her life stood. Yeah, that's right- the love of her life. There had never been anyone else that held her fascination and adoration the way Johnny did. There was never someone who knew her so completely inside and out. There wasn't any other man she wanted to spend forever with. Johnny was it for her and it made her heart swell to know that he felt the same.

Lulu had no clue as to why she had been an idiot for so long.

As she reached the final step and found she was only a breath away from Johnny she thought about telling him how much she loved him. She thought about telling him what a big doof she had been this past month, but quickly decided against it.

Johnny was the artist. She was the actionist.

Lulu slid her hands up his chest and grabbed onto his shoulders for dear life as she pulled him down and captured his lips in a kiss. Her heart was thudding loudly in her ear and it gave her the confidence and the courage that she so desperately needed. She felt his hands grasp her hips and pull her flush up against him. Lulu relished in his warmth and the softness of his lips.

She found herself pushed up against the front door and the jingling of keys fluttered through the air and up to her ears. She felt the door swing open from behind and she only gasped in surprise against Johnny's soft mouth, but he caught her. He always did.

Lulu let her fingers slide underneath his sweater and tickle the skin underneath before helping him out of it and throwing it to the side. He ignored the buttons on her sweater and instead lifted it over her head and tossed it. Her tank top followed seconds later and Lulu held back a moan as his warm, rough hands made their way across her bare back, pressing her into him. She closed her eyes and threaded her fingers through his hair as her back hit the floor.

He kissed her ear, her cheek, the corner of her mouth before laying his forehead against hers and running his hand down the side of her hair. "I don't really want to do this in an empty house," he whispered against her swollen lips. "You deserve better."

Lulu played with the hair on the nape of his neck with one hand while the other skimmed the top of his briefs. "Yeah," she whispered back. "Like what?"

He kissed her again and Lulu felt her toes curl. "The world," he breathed.

"All I need is you, Johnny," she told him, running a finger over his lips. "You're all I've ever needed."

"I know."

* * *

**A/N:** Holy crap. The longest chapter I've ever written for CIY. Just want to remind you there's only one more chapter left and it's the Epilogue. It's kind of cheesy in a way, but a very faithful reviewer requested it from about Chapter 5. Who am I to deny?


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